How did your dc cope with starting secondary - tips please

[Dancergirl]

Dd1 is starting secondary school in September. Whilst she's very excited and looking forward to it, as are we, I'm starting to think about the change and how to best help prepare her.

One factor which will be a big change is the much longer day; at the moment we have the luxury of getting up at 7.45am, out the door an hour later and home by 3.40pm. She's terrible in the mornings as she's a bit of a night owl and I struggle to get her up even at this time. From September the school coach picks up at the top of the road at 7.38am so she will have to be up by about 6.30am I suppose. And she won't get home until about 4.45pm.

The other issue I'm worried about is getting homework done. At the moment she gets very little but I imagine at most schools in Year 7 there is a fair bit each night. She's a keen ballet dancer and does quite a few classes a week, she also goes to Guides which she loves. Do you think she will be able to keep up her activities bearing in mind homework, tiredness etc?

How did your dc all cope at the start of Year 7? If anyone has any good tips would be grateful.

First off, dont panic!

Homework will depend on the school but my younger DCs (y7 & y8) dont seem to be over burdened with it at the moment and its certainly not every night. It does ramp up significantly especially in year 9 onwards as GCSEs start to come in to play.

She and you will need to play the extracurricular activities by ear. She may find that she copes with a new busier school just fine or she may find that it is a lot more tiring. Also with new friends and opportunities through school her interests may change.

Good luck!

i predict she will get verrry good at getting up at 7:30 and leaving the house in a flurry of books while you wail despairingly about planners, breakfast and coats.

Save your breath. They don't wear coats.

My DS started last September he leaves the house at 7.05am and generally gets back around 3.45pm, he seems to have coped well with the longer days some evenings he has been known to take himself off to bed earlier and to be honest on days he is flagging I'm happy for him just to chill out after school.

He hasnt had as much homework as we thought he would have, seems to get more projects than anything spread over a few weeks or so.

We prepared him that he might have to give up one of his extra curricular activities if it got too much but so far he has'nt had to infact he has added more after sporting school activities!

HTH

I really wouldn't worry and this comes from a secondary school teacher. I have only seen one child sink like a stone and that's because it was the wrong school.

We rarely set homework.

Lots of allowances are made for the adjustment period....

I hasten to add my DS2 is coming to my school in September. We have a super strict 'must have a pen policy' and I am keeping a stash in my car and spare pe kit. He is an airhead of the highest order. I debated sending him to another school but I was worried he wouldn't get off the bus.......

It will be fine don't panic :}

a few tips to help you both.....

1. Don't bother buying a coat, it won't be worn after the 1st week.
2. Don't argue about bags, let her choose and buy the best (in her eyes) one you can, bags are VERY important (!).
3. Try to do homework on the night it is set rather than the night before its due in.
4. Pack the bag the night before ready for the next day.
5. If you can buy a spare of less expensive stuff as things will stangely disappear!
6. cut down on out of school activities for the 1st term

It will be fine

Thanks all.

takeonboard - re the bags - the school has recommended some back-friendly backpack. I was keen on this for health reasons but do you think it won't be the bag of choice for girls?

After school activities - dd already does loads of ballet, she's very passionate and committed and next term she is planning on doing even more. She would be heartbroken if she needed to cut down, it's very important to her. But I've told her she has to be organised with homework; they have an extended lunch break at her school so if she's not doing a club, she could get her work done then.

There's a meeting in June for new girls and parents so I could find out about homework then.

I wouldnt get a backpack unless that is what she wants. Perhaps get something cheap to see her through the first few weeks with the promise of getting whatever is 'the thing' once things settle down a bit.

You could of course satisfy your desire to shop by getting all the useful things like colouring pencils, felt tip pens, geometry set. If the school recommends a calculator then get the one they advise as it will help in class to have the 'right' one.

I also wouldnt start saying now that she will have to cut back on activities she enjoys. When she starts at school see how she goes. Remember that interests and passions change. She is going to be doing an awful lot of growing up over the next 3 years.

Dancer - depends on the school really, I think there is an "in bag" for every year group too. A backpack is social death, according to my DS it singles you out as a year 7! (apparently thats bad!) Its a boys school so I have no idea for girls, but the 70's style flight bags are what all the boys use adidas/gola/superdry.

A lot of DS's friends got new bags at the first half term so it may be worth not spending too much on the first bag!

Agreed, the bag is all important for Year 7. My DD started with a backpack but by half term had changed to the 'in' thing. Cath Kidston/Accessorize bags are the ones to have in her school so good advice to definitely start with something cheap and then let her choose something new the first half term.

Thanks, what a minefield!

But I am well aware of how important to fit in as I didn't when I was a teenager so I won't make the same mistake with my daughter.

Will get her a cheap bag to start with and then see.

It feels like a minefield, but she will find her feet quite quickly don't worry and good luck

I found the school extremely accommodating for the new intake. They have to bump up the work but do it sensibly - homeworks tend to be research, covering books, that sort of thing. So, homework, but not terribly taxing. Some of it can take a while - especially as many subjects give a piece out each. It's important to do soon, get into good habits, but not get bogged down - so, if there is more than they can handle one night, plan to do it another or if the dates of submission work out OK, mop up the extra on a Sunday afternoon.

Most children bed in really quickly. My daughters year were completely fine, and my son went running in on his first day! (helps when siblings are there) . One of his friends did have tears after the first week but he is a sensitive lad, was first sibling at secondary and was very very tired. He soon adjusted.

I think it's quite important not to make too much of it. Pick up on the bits they are excited about but remain laid back and supportive on areas they are more concerned. I think getting anxious yourself rubs off although I can appreciate some transitions are pretty major, like city travel or no mates going (and I would probably be anxious too!) we are pretty lucky , rural, most children come from our Primary, and its about 50yds from the primary!

my dd (year 10!!!) is also a night owl but is vain and vanity takes over so she is very very disciplined about getting up in time to get ready!

bags - let her choose her own. each year there will be a different "fad" on bags, dont argue, hand over the £20 and let her go and buy....
for dd the first 2 years were "gola" bags
now its new look which is fine - its cheaper!
get your dd into the habit of packing her bag the night before - dd is very very organised and always has been and clearly does not take after her mother
coats - DD has a cheap barbour type thing that is all the rage but however refuses point blank to wear a coat for school
she barely wears her blazer
i have given up
shoes ditto - i bought £40 rocket dogs which were quicky replaced with £2.50 primark pumps.
dont bother arguing with a teenage girl - its futile.
expect to replace things like maths sets and rulers and pencil sharpeners very frequently
homework - again - dd is very organised and im lucky. i never have to nag.

my advice is relax. DD loved the first few years at secondary, now she is almost year 11 its all going slightly down hill...but she is still super well organised and i think thats the key - if yours isnt then do it with them - homework and bag packed on a night, bus money, dinner money, pe kit, all sorted night before makes mornings much more smooth.

and finally - as with everything teenage related pick your battles....dont sweat the small stuff.

Thanks all. Dd's generally a very easy child and I'm not planning to have any battles with her over bags, shoes and the like. I'm quite excited actually - it's a lovely school, it was our first choice and she worked hard to get her place.

I suppose the main thing I'm worried about is how she'll get up in the morning, it will be a shock for her having to get up at 6.30am every weekday.

So Dancer, which school did you go for in the end? I remember us conversing about general things relating to school choice but never found out how it ended.

Feel free to PM or make it cryptic if you don't want to disclose outright.

As you say "new girls" I imagine it's either WGSG (is that the right acronym), or a private like St H.