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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Advice from Year 10/11 mums please

15 replies

wangle99 · 26/04/2012 20:39

DD is in year 10, currently doing her annual school exams plus some GCSEs that her school take early.

She has a major attitude about it all, doesn't think it's fair she isn't allowed to talk in exams, that they are made to sit there and do them. She is very emotional (whether hormones I am unsure) and every revision session ends up with her getting wound up, sometimes crying, stressed and I really don't know how to deal with it.

It seems she thinks i should be able to answer all her questions regarding each subject when i can't, it is a long time since I was at school.

I really don't know how to deal with this, the right thing to say any btdt mums who can offer advice?

Thank you

OP posts:

BringBack1996 · 26/04/2012 20:47

How intense is her revision timetable? Is she allowing herself enough breaks? It sounds to me like she is just a bit stressed out and needs a bit of time off, is she in a position to just chill this weekend and get back to the revision on Monday?
My DS is in year 11 and he has one evening off revision a week to just chill out. IMO if he didn't do this he would get more wound up and not get as much out of the revision he is doing.
Hope that was useful!

Original poster

wangle99 · 26/04/2012 20:55

Thank you. Her last lot of exams are tomorrow then it will be less intense as the GCSE's aren't till June.

Perhaps she isn't taking enough breaks. I'll bear that in mind

I'm studying at the same time and she tends to sit down with me but I don't really take breaks so perhaps that is an issue.

OP posts:

BackforGood · 27/04/2012 00:34

Maybe you could stop after a set period of time and walk round the block together ? Empathise with each other about the bits you find hard and what you have tried to get round that ? Ask her things about where she might be able to find this or that out... revision guide, staff at school, online sites, school homework sites, etc. ... Fresh air and exercise does wonderful things to clear your head.

Other than that though, completely outside my experience, as I have a ds, and the problem is convining him to do any work at all.

empirestateofmind · 27/04/2012 02:04

My DD is in Y11 and seems to have been revising for months. She finds the revision sessions/past papers practice in school pretty intense so is very tired in the evenings at the moment.

She isn't doing a huge amount on top of homework during the week. She has one afternoon/evening out at the weekend and does revision the rest of the weekend.

Does your DD understand the work she is learning? If she doesn't understand it then she won't be able to remember it.

I would be asking why school get them to sit GCSEs early- there is evidence that sitting early means students don't get the grades they could have achieved a year later. Also if it is a subject you are going to study at A level you will not have studied it for a year when you reach Y12.

Kez100 · 27/04/2012 11:55

There seems to be two issues here.

The revision is a quite normal one and hopefully lots of advice will help.

The not understanding why she can't talk in exams though. That seems extremely immature. Even year 6's get that message. Is this really an issue which she cannot see is wrong, or is it just something she is saying to be b***y awkward?

tantrumsandballoons · 27/04/2012 12:02

Revision timetables have become God in our house :)

I found with dd that if she can clearly map out what she is doing, for how long, when her next break is etc it's easier for her to manage.

Its hard though, my dd went through a very emotional phase when revision started (yr 9 but taking 2 GCSE this year), she was crying at the drop of a hat, turned out she was just worried she wasn't doing enough revision, worried she wasn't revising the right thing etc.

We just sat down together, made up the timetable and it seemed to take some of the pressure off

I would say that's why her behaviour has changed, just have a chat with her and help her work out a timetable.

Oh and good luck :)

GrungeBlobPrimpants · 27/04/2012 12:03

Revision - take breaks, supply comfort food/drink, expect extreme moodiness and count to ten. Just always appear to be supportive even if you want to throttle her

Talking in exams - like Kez100 said, that is a very peculiar thing to come up with at this age - they all know the rules about that at Primary so she can't really believe that, surely?

BackforGood · 27/04/2012 12:16

I notice all the people who have hard working / overworking / studious teenagers who follow revision timetables, etc. all seem to have dds and not dss

SecretSquirrels · 27/04/2012 14:45

DS has a revision timetable, drawn up by himself but at my suggestion. It features plenty of physics and chemistry, but strangely very little English or RE.
Guess what his best and worst subjects are?

OP I wonder whether your DD is doing altogether too much? Certainly at this stage in Year 11 they have finished all the curriculum and every lesson is in effect revision. Plus there are lunch time and after school revision classes in everything.
Just how many hours is she doing at home?
Agree the comments about exams are odd. Might be worth stressing how serious these things are in case she's thinking of breaking any of the rules in a GCSE.

bruffin · 27/04/2012 15:10

Agree Backforgood

DSyr11 is revising but it is not taking over his life. We did have a session on Saturday where he seemed to think I knew how to do a kidney transplant and seemed to spend hours asking me about renal failure when I was was working mumsnetting on the pc, when he was revising biology, so you are not alone in being expected to be the fountail of all knowledge OP.

IdontknowwhyIcare · 27/04/2012 15:27

Hmm DS yr 11, is revising everyday except Thursdays (last day off the week for us and early lunchtime finish) so he gets to chill for the rest of the day. During Easter he was doing 4-6 hours a day and now he does 2 hrs on week nights and today will have completed 5 hours (weekend). He gets to sail weekly and swim a couple of times, plus circuits at lunchtime.
He has a list of subjects for each exam and its colour coded red amber green, he reasseses it weekly. I'm not sure he has an actual subject revision chart ie. 1 hr eng lit, 1 hr hist but he seems to be doing well. He got 40/40 for his business studies case studies (sorry, apologises for proud mummy moment).

BackforGood · 28/04/2012 00:17

Wow! I think you have the exception to prove the rule there IDKWIC .
I used to have lovely colour coded timetables, and lists and revision notes and things - ds just drives me spare, and I have to keep trying to convince myself it's "Just a different style of learning"

IdontknowwhyIcare · 28/04/2012 05:22

Ds is very driven and knows what has to be done to get there. Hopefully he will make it ;-)

mummytime · 28/04/2012 06:24

My DS is the same. I'm a laid back Mum, but have told him I seem to be stressing far more than him over the exams.

Actually, he will probably get good grades in Maths and Physics, I'm trying to motivate a little work in Biology etc. I am very stressed with English. But I just hope he will pull it out of the bag somehow.

DD will probably be more stressed, but as I got stressed, I'd suggest a good timetable, lots of breaks, not being alone and good nutrition.

sashh · 28/04/2012 07:09

Print out and put up somewhere prominenet

It is better to spend 10 mins revising than 2 hours worrying about revising.

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