Homework

[Petal1352]

Hi, I was wondering if you guys had any advice on getting my 11yr old (yr 7) to do his homework? He hates doing it, and we have constant battles and rows (almost on a loop it feels!!!) about it!!! I've tried to stop things he likes, but, to no avail! I sit with him, and am available to help him, as is my husband. I really don't know what else to do, and am fed up arguing with him!!!!! I'm afraid it will ruin the lovely relationship we have!

Does his school run homework clubs (either at lunchtime or after school)? You could insist he attends these to complete his homework.

You could try good old fashioned bribery, no TV or X-box until homework is completed.

I wouldn't recommend sitting with him, he might just feel that puts him under even more pressure. Give him a set amount of time, let him know you are around somewhere in the house or garden if he needs to ask you anything, and then let him get on with it.

If he doesn't complete it, you need to let the school deal with it and he must learn to suffer the consequences - detention most likely.

We started our DCs on music practice and homework set by us when they were about 5. So when they started secondary school 'homework' was nothing new.

In other threads the value of homework in secondary schools has been questioned. Well, IMO it puts them into the right mind set for University study. Likewise a routine established while at primary school puts children into the right mindset for when they start secondary school.

Sorry OP but I don't have any advice except to say to other parents that you should establish a routine while they are young. It is very difficult to establish one when they get to 11.

PooshTunTheTrollFeeder are you saying that the OP should give up because she didn't establish a homework routine at 5? I think doing homework at 5 makes no difference at all as to whether DCs will make a fuss at 11. None of mine did very much at primary school age and they had no trouble at all establishing a routine at secondary school and the fact that it was something new helped enormously.

Petal1352 sit your DS down and explain that homework is set by the school and his teachers expect him to complete it. Set aside a time when he will do it every day - home from school, drink snack, then homework. Say you'll start after Easter and that he can go on the xbox or whatever afterwards. If he won't do it then you need to talk to the school and check whether he is struggling or just lazy - good luck!

"are you saying that the OP should give up because she didn't establish a homework routine at 5?"

No. I am saying that "I don't have any advice" for the OP.

Why post then?

Year 7 is a huge step for the kids. Mine went from hardly any hw in primary school to 2/3 pieces a night at secondary. IMHO it is vital that they know that you are there for them to support as much as they need in what can be a bewildering time. Y7 is stressful for everyone but it does get better as dc confidence improves IME

We use a two prong approach -

The schools discipline system for not handing homeworks in (one warning then detention and you do the homework in detention) and

Any grade from school below excellent or good for homework receives a deduction in pocket money.

Needless to say, if we are ever asked to help with tricky homework, we do give advice.

Has worked for our two. It is worth persevering at year 7 as by 9 they have far more attitude and nailing a good homework ethos for when the pressure really starts is a good thing.

Here we do a bit of "helping them organise priorities" ie no TV/gaming till H/W done,and a lot of "sink or swim"- we'll help if asked of course, and nudge them to checl planners, not spend too much time on any one aspect of homework etc, but then they do it and hand it in.

We don't check homework unless asked. The school will impose sanctions if it isn't done satisfactorily.

Results are generally great- overall work standards etc are fine, so though I'm sure DS in particular used to dash of stuff at break/on the bus at times, if school are happy I'm happy.

I guess if they were running lower grades over all I'd be more "pushy" though.

"Why post then?"

Because I was offering advice to other parents whose DC hasn't reached Year 7?

I'm like Theas and others I set aside time and space for HW, and ask but but don't check it has been done knowing the school have a system of punishment if not done/done properly.

It worked fine for my two eldest (both now at good unis).

I totally sympathise with you, my DS 13 is a terrible procrastinator , leaving Hw til the last minute, then gets really anxious and has a stress out over the task demanding that he cant do it even although he is actually extremely smart. He always had a good HW routine but this has graduallly deteriorated in the last 18months. Could it be hormones?