Can school force my DS to do detention?

[purpleroses]

DS (12) has been given a detention for not handing in homework. I'm fine with that in principle, but it is after school on a day when he should have a piano lesson (which I've paid for)

Am planning to ring the school to ask if he can do it a different day, but am unsure whether they actually have the right to say no - As a parent can I insist that he leaves at the usual time, or does the school have a right to keep him back if they choose?

I phoned the school in the end and they were very nice and said it would be fine to rearrange it. They said they would always do so for something educational like music lessons.

If it happens again might get my DS to rearrange it himself - but he was upset about it this time, thought it could not be changed, and didn't know who he would ask about it either - he does seem to have been struggling a lot with communicating things between home and school since he started secondary.

I wasn't wanting to get into a confrontation with the school at all - it's just that I like to know what the bottom line is before I approach them to ask something nicely - just so I know where I stand. Anyway, I'm happy with the outcome and DS is fine about it. Hopefully he will remember to bring his homework to school in future :)

Wishy washy? I can hear my pupils laughs from here! As the other teachers have said it is about the long game and not just a power rip but rather modelling behaviour you wish to see.
As for back chat- I get more from my 2 year old than the 11-16 year olds I teach.

Good- glad it worked out purpleroses
Mrbojangles - it is the OPs sons reaction to rearranging it himself that I wan to avoid- that just suggests he is scared and a bit confused by the whole system how does that help him learn anything?

I've actually gone to my ds's school and asked for a detention for him not doing his homework. He was giving both his teacher & I different excuses for not getting it done. She let him off but gave him a good telling off in front of me. May sound harsh but he makes alot more effort with homework now.
I work in a behaviour unit & see the consequences of kids who haven't been dealt harshly enough in mainstream. You need to support the school 100%.
Btw schools no longer have to give any notice on detentions let alone move them. Your ds is old enough to take responsibility. He should be doing work experience soon where he will see missing deadlines has far greater consequences.

Given that the OP's ds is 12, he won't be doing work experience very soon, and in any case kids don't do real work in work experience, it's generally shadowing and make work so that they get a taste of what a work environment is like. He's not likely to be doing a job requiring deadlines to be met for at least another six years. Our school used to use the learn about work line on homework (in junior school!) and quite frankly I thought it was totally ridiculous, especially as at the time I managed a team and spent a fair bit of time working with them on work life balance and time management (taking work home was considered poor on both fronts).

I don't understand why it should be considered wishy washy or unsupportive to think that a child shouldn't miss a lesson if they can take their punishment another time. Isn't the point of school learning? Although thinking back I might be inclined to take this view as I hated music lessons and would have been very happy to sit in detention instead.

alltheseboys: 'She let him off but gave him a good telling off in front of me. May sound harsh but he makes alot more effort with homework now. '

Am I going completely mad? Since when is 'telling off' (primary school phrase) 'harsh'. He was bloody lucky that the teacher was daft enough to succomb to parental persuasion and have their authority undermined in my humble opinion.

crapteacher

"if they can take their punishment another time"

I think the definition of punishment is being watered down rather!

My Dcs school is a rural one, with the majority of children arriving on school buses and so therefore detentions are at break/lunchtime. And given for a first time offence with no warning.

Letters are still sent home though. It seemed to be based around the idea that as you had not found an opportunity to do the work at home, you had to do it under supervision at school. Should you complete the work in the meantime the detention would not be necessary. So not presented as a 'punishment' as such.

I have only had one of these, which was actually sent in error as DS had done the project and handed it in the previous term, so can't comment on how effective it is.

Crap teacher - I don't know how informing the school he was lying was undermining the teachers authority. I am very supportive of the school. Your name alone suggests that maybe you don't take your job as seriously as you should do- 'in my humble opinion '.

In our DC's school you can ask for any detention to be taken on another day. I have had to do this a couple of times because of pre-arranged family activities. In the letter asking for the detention to be re-arranged I always write my support for any action the school is taking and my full support for the teachers.

Luckily, they are reasonable and realise it is not my saying my DC can't have detentions. This is unlike some parents that I have heard of complaining what their little darlings were asked to do in detentions - clean the yard, tidy the classrooms, put away some equipment.

After having written this I am a bit that I know so much about detentions.