has anyone got a very unhappy child post-allocation?

[anatinus]

Allocation day - dd missed out on her first choice (a super selective grammar) she's on the waiting list but too far down to be hopeful and her second choice an outstanding & therefore mega-oversubscribed comp. She is on the waiting list for her third choice a 'good' comp, she's number 14 they've said she has a chance of getting in but if she doesn't then the only choice is shitsville school & I will keep her at home rather than that. She did get an offer at lovely independent but financially it isn't feasible - we made sure she understood it was a long shot before we applied - they offered a small bursary but not enough. We have to wait for another two weeks now until we find out what's going on with the waiting lists.

Her three closest friends got into the super selective & the mega oversubscribed. She's my eldest & I haven't been through this before, she's so sad. I didn't feel any of our options were stupidly unlikely but I feel like I've let her down :(

Trouble is you get allocated the school on your list that is highest up that you fit the entry criteria for. She didn't do well enough in a very competitive test for the super selective school and you don't meet the criteria for schools 2 and 3 (presumably on distance) and so have been allocated "shitsville" instead (I assume you did actually put it on your form rather than leaving blank spaces allowing LA to send you anywhere?

You can start her at shitsville and await a place at another school- it mightn't be as bad as you fear. Round here there is a new academy that was "shitsville" but is really on the up, for instance.

If home ed is a possibility, does that mean it is also possible for you to work to earn the fees for the inde? Or do you need to be at home for other kids?

What ever school she attends remember and remind her she has loving and supportive parents- that is a huge advantage that many kids just don't have- even at shitsville she could succeed .

Put her on the waiting list for the Mega oversubscribed too. Are you going to accept the place at Shitsville, I probaby would just while everything calms down.
Also look at appealing, you just need to show why your DD would be more disadvantaged not going to the school than the kids there would be to have one more pupil.

Hi there,

Joined up specially to respond to you...and sending massive hugs of support to you and your dd.
We were in a similar position this time last year - we did not get any of our "options" and was given a school my dd would not even go and look at let alone go to school there! We cried for days it may sound silly but it was just horrible, we also tested and was offerred a place at a private (this gave my dd a slight positive balance) but as a single mum and contractor could not stand the pressure of finding the money...
All my dd's close friends got into good schools so it was just her, she cried at school (first time ever) and woke up twice within a week with nightmares (hasn't had those since toddler days)...bloody awful as a parent trying to be reassuring yet devastated at the same time. We found out we were 5th on our 3rd choice and within a few weeks was offered a place...and she is thriving!
So please please keep positive and be reminded that there is a lot of movement even after Sept next year.
We were actually offered our first choice in Dec last year but my dd was adament should would not leave her school!

Best of luck

Ds also in tears as got second choice, but feels stupid. Fingers crossed for waiting list.

I sympathise.

In your situation I would accept the offered school and see if you have grounds for appealing for a place at any of the other schools. If you do decide to appeal you will get plenty of help here. There is no guarantee of success, of course, but it may be worth a try, particularly if there is reason to believe a mistake has been made.

My eldest daughter got the 'shitsville' school last year but we tried to be positive and said we'd give it a go as appeal successes pretty non existent here. She started there in September and LOVES it and is thriving!! She's in the top class, in the gifted and talented group for science and is surpassing all expected grades. She's in the orchestra and has made some lovely friends (also children whose parents reluctantly gave it a go and who are thriving too)!! Please don't disregard anything as there are a number of kids who got the 'top' schools who are moving to my daughter's school because of bullying issues etc so what looks good on paper isn't always the best in reality.

@stroppy
excellent (and wise) post.

Also there is a lot of movement on waiting lists.

anatinus - I's so sorry, I feel I've let my ds down aswell.

DS got third choice and he is really upset about about the situation. We did get an offer for an Independent school but no bursary which is not doable.

I am a bit confused though as on the results email after mentioning the name of our 3rd choice it said :'We are pleased to confirm that you have been allocated your first preference school.'

Does everyone have that message because it's an automated email?

I am a bit confused did my DS get 3rd or 1st?

We live closer to the west london free school then Toby Young, however we didn't get a place, in fact dd got none of the schools we applied for, ironically we've been offered Acton High. The pupils i've come across from AH have not impressed me, does anyone know go to AH have any wisdom to impart? Right now I have no intention of sending her there.

umgroup I don't think Acton High is as bad as you think. It has vastly improved under the last Head and has had loads of money spent on it. My DS is Yr 7 and a few of his class mates went there and are perfectly happy with it. That's not to say there isn't a small percentage of 'challenging' children there, but where isn't there?

If you don't get in anywhere else I wouldn't panic too much.

thanks for the replies - I'm really sorry for anyone else in this position, it's horrendous feeling you've messed things up for you kids. We're all happier today & have the beginnings of a plan. I have three under 4s at home as well as dd so the independent is out - it did boost dd's confidence getting an offer & seeing complimentary comments.

I'm sorry about using 'shitsville' too ... it was rude. It isn't only the school's record of attainment which isn't at all good, but also the social issues associated with it (I have some 'inside' knowledge of several of the local schools). The school specialises in an area which my daughter has no interest in or aptitude for and does not provide a full curriculum in her areas of interest (sciences) or any extracurricular activities (drama, music, choir, debate, warhammer ... anything really). It doesn't even have a library. She'd be miserable there.

dh & I have spent the morning on the phone to the admissions people. We aren't going to appeal the decisions re the first two schools - dd just didn't do well enough for the grammar. The second school have a waiting list of 200 & we aren't high enough priority.

We're now 12th on the waiting list for school number three (were 26th yesterday) - admissions think it likely that we will get a place for this academic year but obviously can't guarantee it. We haven't been allocated the 4th school (I only put three options down), if we want the guaranteed place now we can submit a change of preference & we'd get a place there immediately (there are 4 schools in our area which are under-subscribed).

As things stand we'll hold out and see what happens with the waiting list - if she doesn't get a place for September I'm quite happy to home educate her (have done before) until a place comes up (there are current vacancies in year 8 & 9 at school 3). I know it sounds utterly pathetic but I'm slightly baffled by the system at school 3 - they have multiple 'learning paths' which lead to combinations of academic & vocational courses, there are a lot of non traditional subjects on offer ... it's very different to my schooling ... she'll have to give up her dreams of latin & classics but there are good points.

So not really a disaster, she's gone off for a sleepover with her more successful friends this evening - hopeful there'll be no nastiness, she seemed cheerful when I dropped her off.

I will pass on a piece of advice which we received when DD1 got a place at the local comp which was then in special measures (came out and then went back in again!)

If your DD is bright she will be in the top sets. In the top sets she will get the best teaching available.

This was true then and is true now. DD1 is taking her GCSEs now. Her targeted grades for all subjects are As.

umgroup all I can say is oh dear action high :( personally If I got offered action high I would be selling up and moving you are right to be concerned

And as for being in a top set in a sink school it's not so much about your child being bright but how many others are not

For instance your child could be on level 4 which is only the avrage for child of 11 but all other children who are attending that school are on level 3 that means the child on level 4 will be in top set but that by may not mean they are bright if the intake of the school is weak from the out set

On the other hand a school like twyford may have children on level 4 in the bottom sets because most of their intake have achieved 5 or level 6 so their starting point is much higher .

So please don't believe those who say top sets equal fab teaching sink schools do not attract the best teachers if anything often attracts those who have left their schools under a cloud or weren't good enough to get a job at twyford

By the time she gets in to a decent school she will have picked up sloppy ways from acton high home educate

If you are no 12 on the waiting list I am pretty sure you will get a place. It might not be for a while but just hang in there on the list.

Sorry Mrbojangles1 my experience is different. On the whole DD1 has had pretty good teaching all the way through. Not all top of the range but pretty much all of the teachers were prepared to put the extra time in if DD1 was.

Not all kids who go to the lower level comps pick up sloppy ways. If the student and parents are committed then a good standard of education can be achieved.

You have to make the best of what you get.

Anatinus - wasn't offended by the 'shitsville' comment so don't worry!!

There will always be schools who are more highly regarded than others and visa versa.

The dynamic of a school can change though. Traditionally we've had a very successful boy's school and girl's school in the town and the others were classed as failures. However, there are increasing numbers of nice kids from the good primary schools getting allocated a place at my daughter's school and it's pulling the standard of the school up.

Most of the parents are like us and want their kids to have a good education and make sure that things don't slide.

You will get through it and you will look back and wonder what all the fretting was for!

Umgroup We also applied for the WLFS but my son didn't get in either.
What is your distance to Hammersmith Town Hall?
Not sure if this is accurate or not but i used this site and it said our distance to the school is 1.326 miles www.freemaptools.com/how-far-is-it-between.htm (as the crow flies)
We got our 5th choice which is in the borough of K&C.
Are you putting your dd on the waiting list for WLFS?
We also put down the Hammesmith Academy but didn't get that either.

HI! The school I choose it was my son choise, but now he is not happy. He is rejecting going back. Before him my 2 daughters attend this school. I didn't have any problem because they were girls. or may be he is only boy and may be others mum will agree boys have some issue and nether parent or teachers can understand. when they growing up. I am working mother and my son facing lots of problem in school. Teachers behavior is unexplainable, head teacher quite busy making new building and farm in school. but he hasn't go time to see how many kids having problems, why they not been attending school, always putting youth teachers in front, so i really don't understand is this school is right for my son or all school is the same! if i put him for other schools it will be long wait!!! any advise for this?