Residential school trip

[Appleblackberryorange]

DD is off on school trip at February half term. 30 girls are going.

They are staying in 2 hotels, one hotel has a rooms of 5, other hotel has rooms of 4.

None of her normal group of friends are going so she's not bothered by who she shares with.

However, she's been told in the room of 4, that two of the girls she is sharing with are a couple, and make out in front of people. She feels very uncomfortable to share a room with them. She doesn't know the girls at all, they are older than her.

DD feels bad that she feels this way, but has said she wouldn't want to be in a room with a boy/girl making out anymore than with the girls making out, but knows that opposite sex wouldn't be allowed to share on a school trip, but as they are same sex the girls are allowed to share.

Any ideas how I can approach the school to see if she can swap room? I don't want her to be away from home, sleeping in a situation where she feels uncomfortable.

If she doesn't know the girls how does she know this? It might just be malicious gossip. If you think it is true, email or phone the teacher in charge of the trip and explain the situation. A femaile couple at my DD's school were told to behave themselves on the premises, as it was embarassing other girls and teachers.

IF this is true then the girls shouldn't be allowed to share a room as a girl-boy couple wouldn't be allowed to.

But the school might find it hard to put that logic into practice without seeming discriminatory.

I don't think it would be out of order to ask if your daughter can move rooms though.

I've shared hostel rooms with couples (both opposite sex and same sex) before and it's been absolutely fine but I was an adult or at least an older teen and I wouldn't expect them to be having it off with each other in front of the rest of us.

I said to her to go and meet them, and find out if the rumour was true first. She went to find the girls, with a friend who knows one of them to point them out to her.

She said she didn't need the friends help, as it was the two girls draped over each other with one nibbling the other one's ear.

So with this she went to speak to the teacher about swapping rooms, but didn't give a reason, and the teacher said that the only way that she could swap was if she could get someone to change places with her, and she told me there was no chance of anyone doing that.

I asked her if the teacher was aware of the reasons/situation at all and she said no.

Would you contact the school, even if dd wasn't able to be moved rooms, just so that they could be aware of the situation?

How old are they?

Frankly I would ring the teacher who is in charge of the trip and let him/her know the reasons why your daughter does not want to share a room with these two. Being gay is not illegal, you are not betraying a confidence especially as they seem very open about their relationship. You are paying for the trip and why should you spend your money if your daughter is uncomfortable. She should be looking forward to the trip, not dreading it. The school can rearrange the rooms, surely it can't be that much of an effort. They can always make up a reason if they don't want to confront or embarass the girls involved.

DD is 13 girls concerned are 15/16.

Where it's not illegal, would you explain the reason, and I am unsure whether this would have come back (not from the girls but from the school) on my dd, for not being tolerant of alternative lifestyles.

Your daughter is clearly embarrassed not about the gayness but about intimate behaviour in front of her. The school is hardly going to come out and say she is being homophobic. It is inappropriate for mixed sex couples and gay to behave in an intimate way in school. I really don't think you have any worries. The school don't even need to tell the girls why they have been moved.

I wouldn't be happy with a child of 13 sharing a room with 15/16 year olds anyway! What on earth is the school thinking about?

The mix of age ranges isn't that unusual if it's a small trip spread across a few years.
At Girl Guide camp you get 11-14/15 year olds sharing a tent for week & Girl Guies aren't automatically more wholesome than other kids.

It might give the OP (& the school) the get-out of saying your daughter would rather be with girls her own age though? That might be worth trying - and up to a point it's even true, since I guess girls her own age are a fair bit less likely to be exploring their sexuality in pulic or otherwise.

A guide company is different. This girl will be sharing a room with much older girls she doesn't even know by sight, not older members of the same guides. Even without the complications it ouldn't be much fun- qnd I am surprised at the school expecting her to do it.

Were straight couples at the school banned from kissing too?

Obvs full-scale making out is inappropriate for anyone in a school environment.

Sorry, zombie thread!