What would you choose? Top private school or superselective grammar?

[goldieandthreebears]

Here is my dilema:
My very academic 10 year old DD (my eldest of 3) has just gone through the horror of 11+ and sailed through.
Back in September she got top marks in a super-selective grammar school so it is highly possible that she will get an offer from that school on 1st March.
Last week she sat a top academic girls private school and has been offered an academic scholarship (a reduction of the fees by 10%).
DH and I are both professionals working in the public sector,so although we are by no means struggling it would be quite difficult to send all 3 of our children to private secondary schools.
My DD is extremely hard workind and she would be fine in both schools. She is also very sporty and a good musician and both schools cater for these. However, the private school is a 10 minute bike ride from home whereas the grammar school would be a 45 minute journey.This worries me slightly as she is generally very busy in the evenings with her competitive sports club. What would you do?

[MildlyNarkyPuffin]

Still prefer no polonium.

[claig]

But Litvinenko was no oligarch.

We really need the wise inpout of Xenia on this. I don't think that anyone can deny that she knows what's what and who's who.

[MildlyNarkyPuffin]

If you make money in a world full of corruption you have to at least be on nodding terms with those that deal with insurance. Ensuring your stock doesn't go up in flames for example. Abramovich maintains the Russian national team and puts a lot of money into at least one Russian province allegedly as part of the price of being allowed to do business.

[Greythorne]

National team of what?

[MildlyNarkyPuffin]

Football He owns CSKA Moscow where the majority of the Russian internationals play.

[MildlyNarkyPuffin]

Wiki:

Abramovich was the governor of Chukotka from 2000 to 2008. It has been estimated that he spent over US$1.3 billion (?925 million) of his own money on the region, which now has one of the highest birth rates in Russia. Under Abramovich, living standards improved, schools and housing were restored and new investors were being drawn to the region.

Abramovich said that he would not run for governor again after his term of office expired in 2005, as it is "too expensive", and he rarely visits the region. However, Russian President Vladimir Putin changed the law to abolish elections for regional governors, and on 21 October 2005 Abramovich was reappointed governor for another term.

In early July 2008 it was announced that President Dmitri Medvedev had accepted Abramovich's latest request to resign as governor of Chukotka, although his various charitable activities in the region would continue. In the period 2000?2006 the average salaries in Chukotka increased from about US$165 (?117/£100) per month in 2000 to US$826 (?588/£500) per month in 2006.

[MildlyNarkyPuffin]

Sorry, doesn't own CSKA because of FA regulations, heavily sponsored them through one of his companies.

[claig]

Yes, he is loaded. He could afford all the best tutors in the land and could probably get his children into superselectives. Did they go to state grammars or did he prefer private?

[spendthrift]

Goldie, I've come late to this debate but

She's going in to year 7:

It is very likely that should she be unhappy or as Colleger suggests, insufficiently, stretched, that you could move her pre GCSE in years 8 or 9 into the private sector - private girls' prep schools don't quite so often go up to year 8, but quite a few of them do, so she would not be so unusual. Perhaps not the one closest to you, but you should be able to find a really good one, if she is so able. And she'd cope socially, I feel sure, from what you say.

But to move any child into a super selective grammar at year 8 or 9 is usually not so easy. The switch only goes one way, normally.

Don't also forget to do your actuarial and economic calculations on how inflation will affect private sector fees.

IMHO, take the grammar, sigh with relief you don't need to pay those fees for at least a year, be prepared to move pre GCSE or then at A level should you want to. And see what it takes to stretch her.

And I pay for DS to go private!

[MildlyNarkyPuffin]

I'm sure he made the right decision for him and his family.

[purits]

goldie Have you spoken to other parents at the schools? The superselective near us gets fantastic results but it's not a very nice place. They think that they are doing your DC a big favour taking them on. Their attitude, if anyone questions anything, is to say that there a plenty other children wanting a place so if you don't like the set-up then jog on. They seem to care more about results and League table rankings than the children.
Is your Grammar caring and concerned? Or up its own backisde, like ours?

[Heatherhills]

As someone who did a long journey to school I would urge you to choose the closer school. Being far away has lots of disadvantages eg friends, time wasted, less sleep, less activities/homework time, less parental involvement in school, less independence, high cost.

What if she makes a friend who lives 45 mins away in the opposite direction? Don't ruin her teens she'll never get them back!

[Heatherhills]

You can always send the other two private for 6th form.

[Yellowstone]

Love the whole oligarch trip. Brilliant.

Who says crooks aren't smart?

[claig]

'Who says crooks aren't smart?'

The prison service

[Yellowstone]

Not if they're not caught.

[claig]

I doubt that a team of 10 crooks, pooling their resources and scratching their heads, could pass the entrance exam for a superselective, even at an advanced age.

[Yellowstone]

I doubt that lots of teams of Old Etonians could either.

[claig]

Have you seen a non verbal reasoning test? Why do you think they chose a life of crime?

[Yellowstone]

Or Eton.

[tropicalfish]

I decided on a superselective grammar over a top private school for dc, the top private school being in central london.
The grammar has kids coming to it from all over north london and it is an issue with friends being a 40 minute drive away. I dont fancy doing that after work.
Private schools do offer fantastic sporting opportunities for very sporty kids and have much longer school holidays, difficult to cater for if you work.
But, most kids at a private school will come from very well off homes, unlike the grammar and a less well off child will end up feeling much poorer as a result of this.

[bellabelly]

The grammar school. It's a no-brainer really, I think. Just imagine the opportunities for travel, private tuition/sporting activities, trust funds, help with university fees/help with deposit on first flat etc etc etc the money you'd be spending on school fees could buy you. Am not a fan of private schools (before babies I used to teach in state sector) but not totally opposed to them. I just think that unless you are mega-wealthy and/or there are NO decent schools near you, you'd be mad to pay for educationwhen you can get it for free. It'd be nice if the grammar school was the nearest one to your home but 45 minutes is not that long a journey really.

[Hullygully]

An awful ot of terribly rich and successful entrepreneurs eg Branson as the most obvious, did appallingly badly at school. Their inability to conform is what may them succeed out in the world.

An awful lot of terribly rich people are, in effect, crooks.

[Hullygully]

That is not meant to imply Branson is a crook - just that there is more than one path.

[claig]

Agree with that. Most follow the path that is straight and true and some crooks follow the crooked path.