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Secondary education

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Original poster

Does it matter if DC have already read schools set texts?

94 replies

LynetteScavo · 11/12/2011 19:06

DS1 (Y8) is an avid reader, and pretty much reads anything I throw at him.

I've realised that he has already read most of the books they are covering/going to cover in English. Does it matter?

Should I try to avoid books which will be covered in class to make him work a bit harder? He does the bare minimum and ends up with decent grades as it is, but I don't think that can continue for ever.

Or is it a good thing that he's already read the books? Confused

OP posts:
mrsravelstein · 14/12/2011 18:49

how on earth can you know that if they're teenagers, how involved are you in their friends' parents lives? i don't get it. ds1 has lots of nice friends with pleasant parents but i couldn't tell you what books they have in their house, or whether they share my values on such specific issues. i mean, i'd assume they wouldn't let a bunch of 10 year olds smoke or openly read playboy, but that they'd stop them reading a book off the bookshelf??

amerryscot · 14/12/2011 18:51

Why do you find parenting so impossible?

MumPotNoodle · 14/12/2011 18:53

Librarians are very aware of the age appropriate books, they will not issue certain texts to lower school students.

mrsravelstein · 14/12/2011 19:06

i don't find it impossible at all, it's lovely. but if a parent from school says 'would ds1 like to come to play', i don't go and inspect their house and ask them to complete a questionnaire about exactly what he will and won't be allowed to do. some parents are more liberal than me, some less so. obviously since he's only 10 i would use my judgement and not let him go if i was worried the parents were awful.

but my point is that trying to micromanage a 13 year old to the point of stopping them reading an adult novel seems really odd. surely the point of parenting is to give them enough information and guidance to make good decisions - if you're worried about your kids being corrupted by a detective novel, how on earth do you expect them to cope with the usual teenage sex/drugs/smoking issues??

amerryscot · 14/12/2011 19:11

Maybe when you have a 13 year old, your views of what constitutes micromanaging a child will have changed.

I do know all of the parents whom DCs visit, btw. It's not that hard.

webwiz · 14/12/2011 19:11

I think I would be thrilled if DS(15) and his friends were swopping mucky books amongst each other because at least they were reading something.

DH says that James Herbert is the boys equivalent of Jackie Collins and his mum would have heart failure if she'd known what was in them.

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 19:12

I was talking about going to the town library-somewhere I went weekly as a 13 yr old on my own. Our library now has self check out so you never see a librarian.

You must live in a very sheltered spot amerryscot or are just unobservant. Mine was a very rural, middle class upbringing with 'nice' parents. We certainly passed 'smutty' books around.
My DCs have been brought up in a similar area, although not as rural. I can't know all their friends at secondary, they come from a wide area. The ones that I have met (and a lot I don't) have been very pleasant but I can't say they all have my values-they are far too relaxed IMO.

Unless you HE you can't have the control that you are expecting.

Before you get the wrong idea my DCs have never hung around shopping centres or street corners. They are lovely DSs and doing very well, with lovely friends.

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 19:14

If their friends come to my house I am certainly not having their parents vet me first!

amerryscot · 14/12/2011 19:19

Not at all. I think you are simply struggling with the notion that not everyone lives exactly the same way that you do.

I am very aware of what goes on around me, and know what I want my children to avoid.

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 19:24

It just seems a sure way to get the opposite to me! If I was your DC I would be seeking out 'banned books' and I would make absolutely certain that you didn't know. Left to my own library ticket I wouldn't be in the least interested.
I always go for encouragement to read the correct, rather than worrying about the incorrect.
Censorship makes them desireable.

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 19:25

Sorry about spelling-don't know where the 'e' came from!

mrsravelstein · 14/12/2011 19:31

i'm not struggling with the notion at all, i think almost as soon as you become a parent you realise how differently other people live because you see friends parenting in such different ways.

and of course i know what i want my children to avoid - but i can't stop them experiencing life/reality! books are not exactly difficult to come by, are they, unless you live in some sort of unusual community?

amerryscot · 14/12/2011 19:34

In my experience, those fears have not materialised.

When you get to that stage, YMMV.

mrsravelstein · 14/12/2011 19:34

i'm really intrigued about this knowing all the parents of your dc's friends too - i know them as in i chat to them at the school gates or at pick up/drop off after birthday parties etc... but i'd say it is quite 'hard' as you put it to get to know them any better than that... unless, again, you live in an especially small and closed community.

amerryscot · 14/12/2011 19:36

Well, it's not impossible to know other parents.

We have dinner parties or meals out every term with the majority of class parents (in three different schools). Then there are quiz nights, rugby matches and other places to be involved. If you are not, don't blame me!

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 19:38

You must HE, if they are secondary and get a bus you can't possibly know all the parents. I have got to know some of my DSs friend's parents at secondary but not many. The ones that I know well are all from primary.

WhoIsThatMaskedWoman · 14/12/2011 19:38

This is a fascinating exposé of middle class parenting mores. I also spent my early teens reading (or having read aloud to me in the dorm after lights out) Jackie Collins, Virginia Andrews, Emanuelle and James Herbert (the goldfish was Lace, not Lucky by the way), and am broadly of the view that It Never Did Me Any Harm. At that age my DPs saw me reading Interview With A Vampire. DF asked DM "Do we approve of her reading that?" to which the answer was "No, not really, but... "

But I've got to say that this view is radically at odds with my views on film and video game censorship, where I take a fairly firm line on classifications.

On the upside, I think people who want to restrict their 12-16 year olds to "suitable" fiction have it much easier than they used to - there's reams of exciting Young Adult fiction out there now, far more than when I was a girl.

amerryscot · 14/12/2011 19:39

Looks around.... no, not HE.

2 of my DCs take the train to two separate schools, btw. Not sure where the bus comes into it.

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 19:40

Cross posted. They must be small private schools. You don't get a very good turn out for quizzes etc. We have never had meals, even at primary. We did through the football club-but not all turn out for those.

amerryscot · 14/12/2011 19:41

Poor you.

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 19:42

The bus comes into it because we are not on the railway-they all get school coaches or public buses.

amerryscot · 14/12/2011 19:42

Does this have to be so egocentric. It is not all about you, exotic. Or me, for that matter.

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 19:43

I am actually relieved-I don't think it is 'poor me' at all. GrinI also think that you will find, as they get older, that all these 'lovely' parents have very different views on alcohol etc.

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 19:45

I just don't believe that you can have quite as much control over a 13yr old's life- and I have a name as a control freak!

mrsravelstein · 14/12/2011 19:45

i'm not blaming you! i'm just interested!

ds1 has just joined a new school as we've moved areas. so i didn't know a soul, and we are still at the stage of gladly accepting all social invitations, i just can't imagine saying 'sorry, i'm worried you might not have locked up all your books, so i can't let ds1 come round'...

whoisthatmaskedwoman, Lace, of course, not Lucky, well, it was, ahem 26 years ago i read it...

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