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Secondary education

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Original poster

I don't want ds to do work experience.

318 replies

Alouisee · 03/12/2011 09:13

He's in year ten and has been told that for two weeks in July he must find a placement. He has contacted two bike shops but they havn't even replied.

I'm not keen on pushing him to contact lots of potential placements just so he can become an unpaid slave for a fortnight.

I feel that the school like to clear the decks in the summer with the residentials taking place and work experience happening. I'm quite happy to arrange some tutoring for him for those two weeks but I'm feeling a bit of a chicken about telling the school that work experience is for their benefit and not for the benefit of my son.

Anyone a teacher and got an opinion or a parent and been in this situation.

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 04/12/2011 09:54

I have a very dear friend who basically refuses to let her DS go on school trips ("He isn"t ready" / "He doesn't want to go"). I don't tell her she's completely off her head not letting her DS go on trips that every other child in the school is going on - I just nod politely and say, if I think I can get away with it, that my DD loves the idea of school trips and can't wait for her first one. I try to get the message across that she is loopy (on this subject) without being rude!

Yellowstone · 04/12/2011 09:59

Amberleaf is right about the comment at the bottom of the article and the difference between doing work experience at 15 only as opposed to doing it then and later as well. IME the early work experience can be pretty weak in itself, with a lot of restrictions on what students of that age can do, but it helps considerably with finding and performing well in subsequent placements.

I sent my 15yo to a Polish factory over half-term. He had to get up at 6.30, get across Warsaw on several changes of tram (he doesn't speak the language) and do a full days work. Very worthwhile.

twinklytroll · 04/12/2011 10:01

I suspect your friends were being polite or trying to avoid you having a rant at a social occasion. Maybe some of your friends are now posting in here disagreeing with you.

By all means let him have two bouts of work experience, it may be that he needs to experience a different way of life to develop some compassion. It is clear from your posting history that your son is being raised in a very competitive environment in which there is little understanding of why some people struggle in life or make choices different from the ones you choose.

It may be that this work experience teaches him about getting up every morning, meeting deadlines, acting and dressing in a professional manner and developing relationships with colleagues. It may inspire him to work really hard so he does a job he really wants rather than one he has to settle for.

If you are concerned that this work experience will be a wasted of time it is up to you both to ensure it isn't. In the modern world we all need a back up plan, particularly if, in your own words, you are average.

Yellowstone · 04/12/2011 10:01

We're rural too.

Original poster
Alouisee · 04/12/2011 10:04

Thanks for the analysis on my parenting.

OP posts:
MysteriousHamster · 04/12/2011 10:34

He has to do it.

He'll learn from the experience.

It might help him get a part time job if he ever needs extra funding while at uni (you never know what the future will hold).

If he doesn't do it he will be mocked, which could put his confidence back which could affect the effect (hmmm have I got that right) of any tutoring you did in its place.

I really think overall it is a good thing.

Fwiw I loved my work experience - I got to do mine at the local paper, and I am still working in journalism today. Admittedly most of my friends ended up in retail/generic office work rather than in the career stream they wanted to do, but they all learned something from it.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 04/12/2011 10:40

He has to do it doesnt he? So better you find a decent placement between you. Something you approve of or he might end up in McDonalds and I can tell you wouldnt like that.

Or spend two weeks doing nothing at school.

If you dont want him to do, dont like the idea of it, thats up to you, its your opinion.

But you know it wont kill him. Personally I dont think it will do him any harm and it will probaby do him good.

Its not a huge issue really.

Lotkinsgonecurly · 04/12/2011 10:54

I really don't get why you wouldn't want him to be washing up in a local cafe or something similar. Surely this is likely to be similar to the part time jobs he may end up getting whilst doing a - levels or at uni.

Even at the age of 14, my son is my PFB but to be honest a bit of a reality check would do him the world of good. We live rurally and they are sheltered from alot of what happens in the cities, completely different. And if you ask friends what they think they're not going to be as honest as people on here.

Work experience would be invaluable for all the reasons listed by so many like minded posters. I think the point you are missing is that it may give him the kick he needs to work harder and be more self motivated as you've indicated he's a child that needs to work hard to get anywhere.

daveywarbeck · 04/12/2011 11:07

This is why Years 10s need to do WE.

Luminescence · 04/12/2011 11:12

One of the best reasons to do WE is to cut the apron strings a bit.

MigratingChestnutsOnAnOpenFire · 04/12/2011 11:14

Aloiusee, your sons school sounds exactly like mine scared now that I might actually teach him

I think MN gives people the chance to be very honest in their posting in a way that we are not so much in RL. That's what you should expect when you ask a question here tbh, an honest answer.

I dare say we would be just as polite to a friend who asked us in RL too. However, the message is essentially the same as your frineds gave you.

I would say once again, the best you can do is to help him get the most interesting, off the wall, unusal and therefore rewarding WE you can. And to also add that the timing is designed not to interrupt GCSE courses as it will be after the exam period and in a time when he will be jaded and won't be up to much useful learning.

twinklytroll · 04/12/2011 11:27

Davey I was just reading that exact article which prompted me to return to this thread.

exoticfruits · 04/12/2011 11:29

I will take advice from friends who've been through this rather than strangers on a thread because they know our school, my son and our family.

If I was your friend I would say what you wanted to hear and then you could go around saying 'my friends agree' BUT I don't at all-what I really believe is on here. (I have tried with saying the truth with friends, but if they don't really want it it isn't worth the hassle).

twinklytroll · 04/12/2011 11:29

I think a key point to consider is that by not sending him and continuing to be unsupportive you are sending the message that because your son is on some way "special" he doesn't need to do what everyone else is doing . That attitude will hold him back far more than having to spend a fortnight with the kind of people who wash dishes.

Original poster
Alouisee · 04/12/2011 11:41

He's not even aware of my reservations, just my pushing for him to email and write to companies so he does end up with something good and doesn't end up with the school finding him something.

He really isn't pfb at all - I'm just questioning the usefulness of enforced WE during GCSE course when he will be doing something that he wants to do with a company that wants to have him after his GCSe's.

None of my friends are soft enough to blow smoke up my arse for an entire evening. They're a very straight talking bunch.

It also seems bizarre that 30 years ago some children went out to work at 15, now they're more likely to be 21. We keep them as children for far longer than we ever did yet "cutting the apron strings" is done by finding them a pretend job for a couple of weeks. If employers really want to see motivation we should take compulsory WE out of the curriculum and then see who is motivated enough to do it, in their holiday time.

OP posts:
cricketballs · 04/12/2011 11:44

I would prefer to wait until he's 16 because his GCSE's will be out of the way and the company he wants to work in won't take under 16's.

and of course, he is only ever going to work for this company.....have you not taken into account all the other benefits that every poster has said comes with WE no matter where it takes place

We are rural but not complete carrot crunchers thanks, dh works on the city - we just happen to live rurally.

you are not the only people to live in a rural area, somehow though we go to work/our children went on WE so that is a useless argument

I will take advice from friends who've been through this rather than strangers on a thread because they know our school, my son and our family

then why post the question? It seems like you were hoping for back up as someone in RL has said the same thing to you that we all have and it has back fired

I have made several posts on this subject and I have been very polite (even with the snobbish comments about working in a greasy spoon) but now you are sounding like a spoilt brat who has been told the truth and you don't like it; I feel for your DS....

twinklytroll · 04/12/2011 11:46

I don't think being rural has anything to do with it . We have lived in the middle of nowhere and my daughter then aged 9 went out and found part time "work" so she could have her own money.

I am certain that aged 15 she would be able to secure herself an interesting work experience placement that would help her in the future.

Original poster
Alouisee · 04/12/2011 11:49

Aged 9? That's illegal isn't it?

I have taken lots of salient points on board. Thank you.

If he's going to wash up in a greasy spoon he can do it for a good reason, to get paid.

Snob? If that makes you happy, I call it standards.

OP posts:
cricketballs · 04/12/2011 11:51

Standards; so everyone who works in a 'greasy spoon' have no standards then Hmm

twinklytroll · 04/12/2011 11:51

She is not down a pit! She went around the local farms and estates and offered to pick fruit, muck out, clean etc.

At one house she arranged to pick their fruit in return for using their swimming pool. Grin

Most people admire and encourage a good sense of work ethic.

twinklytroll · 04/12/2011 11:53

I washed dishes to pay my way through university. Those are standards to be admired.

Original poster
Alouisee · 04/12/2011 11:53

Don't put words in my mouth "cricketballs"

OP posts:
Original poster
Alouisee · 04/12/2011 11:57

You must be 13 to earn money

OP posts:
twinklytroll · 04/12/2011 11:58

I suspect that despite being a cotton woolly liberal I am raising the next Alan Sugar.

On a more serious note I am pleased that I have raised my dd who has an "edge" and a strong ambition and work ethic. I am quite certain that she will arrange her own work experience and it will be something fantastic. You get back from the experience as much as you put in.

Of course it can be a complete waste if time, I have taught students his has been the case for. On the whole this has been because they did not try and this lack of drive was often seen in other parts of their life.

cricketballs · 04/12/2011 12:01

how have I put words in your mouth; it was a direct quote from yourself!