Did you go private at age 11 - if so, what were your thoughts and motivation ?

[3point14]

Though a few years away, I am considering a private school for my daughter at age 11, when she finishes her junior school.

I am by no means settled on the choice but I wonder if some would like to share their experiences and thoughts either way.

Our local comprehensive is a classic 'coasting' school: lots of bright children but no push for academic excellence, according to various families we are friends with who have children there. They are being pushed harder now, but I felt it was too risky four years ago.

I wanted my two, who are very bright, but not outstanding, to be academically challenged, not just to pass GCSEs but to gain a broad education. And do lots of sport and music.

'to be precocious science nerds who didn't know how to interact with normal children I'd home ed or send them private.'

Look east. Over there there are millions of 'science nerds' who will be coming here to work. Your children and mine will be competing with them. It is not all about being 'happy', nice as that is. It is about survival.

I am more than happy to interact with the likes of Stephen hawking anytime any place. I definitely wouldn?t like to live in Elaine fantasy community.

JaJas, What are talking about? I said state education experience was damaging for their children not HE. I have met these children and they are not at all isolated. Their parents had no choice but HE and I feel for them, some of the stories are horried. I am not HE my DCs but I learn a lot from these parents, they do socialise more than the school children, they are very aware and confident and I wish them all the best.

I think we have a duty to stay in the state system and help drag it up for everyone. My ds got scholarships to several privates but we went for the local comp (admittedly a v. good one ... might not be so brave if it were rubbish) ... and it has worked well.

The primary duty any parent has is to do the right thing for their child/children. As a head teacher once said to me "your child is relying on you to do the right thing for them"
For me and many like me staying in the state system was not the right thing for DS2. I feel no guilt about my decision I just am just grateful that I have enough money to enable me to pay to send him to an independent school. I am acutely aware that the vast majority are not as fortunate as I am but if I had not choosen to go down this road it would not have mande a scrap of difference to these children or the likes of ElaineRees.

'I think we have a duty to stay in the state system and help drag it up for everyone'
Is this the UK or USSR?
Our duty is to our children first. You can't tell me that you are out there for the benefit of all?
A lot of comments are against the private schools and wishing them away, have you check out the countries where there is mainly a state sector? How is that working for the SEN, the below average ability? The grass is not always greener....

Actually, I am for the benefit of all, as you put it. Strange that ...

How very altruistic Moominmammacat and very commendable and I hope it makes you happy but we don?t all think like you do. It?s this difference that makes human beings so diverse and adaptable and why we have invented such wonderful things, painted beautiful paintings and written breath taking music; it makes our world so interesting. How boring it would be if we all thought and acted in the same way.

moomin if you are so adamantly against private school why on earth did you apply for scholarships to independnet?

Having endured a (state) convent school followed by a comp I felt I knew what I didn't want for my children. They are both (having gained scholarships) at independent schools and despite the down sides I can honestly say I have never regretted the choice or sacrifices. If I could define the difference in one word it would be expectations.... they are just so different in the independent sector.

Moominmammacat "we have a duty to stay in the state system and help drag it up for everyone"

There are Ofsted-rated "good" comprehensives that are a nightmare. My DS went to one. You're trying to tell me I should have left him there to rot, so that the school would somehow be magically "dragged up"?

Good post happygardening and I agree with every word you have said.
Yes we have gone private unlike the majority of our 'socialist' friends who have moved to bearsden (affluent part of Glasgow) or to jordanhill to ensure their children can go to the 'local' school. You would struggle to buy a family house for less that £350k.
We chose the school we thought was best for our DC and staying within a tough inner Citu school would do nothing to change the standard of the schools here. We were just up front about it, unlike people we know who moved to smaller more expensive housing so they can feel smug at dinner parties re using the local school and rant how much they detest private schools! !

In my experience bad schools drag children down rather than the other way round. Most of the children we know whose parents were brave enough to attempt the local sink school gave up and moved them after 1 term.

They reported bad language, violence, no homework, bullying, zero expectations and the rest. They were powerless to change the huge disruption in the classroom. Their children were depressed, I can't imagine any parent wanting to keep their child in such a situation.

Couldn't agree more once