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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

How much choice did you give your child?

49 replies

Sofabitch · 15/09/2011 20:40

Eek I can't believe it's time to make these decisions. We have a choice of 3 senior schools one of which is far better than the others but it is furthest away. However dd is adamant she doesn't want to go there? I want to pull rank as this is such an important decision and just tell her tough luck but am I setting myself up for her to hate it there? Should I take her preference into account ? I'm so torn. She has said she wants to go to the nearest school so she lives near her friends and doesn't have a long journey to school. But I want her to have the best education. ? I've had a look on line and our local school gets 2x the amount of funding per child and results have been improving year on year so it's not a "bad" school.

How much choice have you/will you give your dc's?

OP posts:

Talker2010 · 17/09/2011 10:20

hmmmm

both have failings re progress but you are right that Crofton looks better on all measures

I would be particularly concerned with Bridgemary progress in maths 2-4 at only 45%

cricketballs · 17/09/2011 10:25

in terms of the results - my DS went to a school with far higher results than the other local school. However, the main reason that his school has the higher results are the kids that go there have higher KS2 levels adn have far more supportive families. The other school which has about the same difference as your choices have an intake with lower KS2 levels, less supportive families (in the main) and so they do an excellent job with those that they have. My ds's friend went to the 'worst' school and has just left with 8A and 2A at GCSE (A in english, maths and triple science...).

I have also worked in a school in special measures and just to note that the support they receive is huge and they also receive extra funding in order to put into place support for them to improve. I would read the OFSTED report as there are a number of reasons why a school goes into special measures and the termly inspections are also published.

hocuspontas · 17/09/2011 10:32

I'm lucky to live in a good area for secondaries so my 3 dds chose their own schools - the one that had the 'feel' they liked best. They were lucky to all get their first choice. They didn't all choose the same and in hindsight, one may have made the wrong decision, but that's just how I feel about the school! She is quite happy there.

wordfactory · 17/09/2011 11:49

It's very difficult.

At secondary my first choice would have been for a highly selective all girls day school. DD wanted a less selective all girls day school that had much more focus on the arts.

DD's argument was that she felt she would be much happier if all the focus wasn't on academics and would thus do better academically as a bi-product. This had always been my view beforehand so I guess she was preaching to the converted.

I went with her choice and it has been, one year on, a resounding success. She is blissfully happy with all the drama,singing, pottery etc...and her academics are absolutely fine. She was right.

That said, I don't think I would have given in if I had thought her choice was a poor one iyswim.

LeBOF · 17/09/2011 12:12

I'm not sure what the percentages mean- is it the bit where it says % achieving level two threshold A*-C?

Talker2010 · 17/09/2011 12:34

LeBof .. that is the % of students who achieved 5 or more A*-C grades at GCSE (or equivalent)

LeBOF · 17/09/2011 12:48

I think I see. So is 40-60% normal then? The schools round here seem to be a lot higher, even though it's not a well-off area.

Talker2010 · 17/09/2011 13:01

So is 40-60% normal then?

No ... the average is about 75% with about 60% achieving 5 including English and Maths

LeBOF · 17/09/2011 13:22

Ah, that makes more sense after you explained it. With the English and Maths, ours is average, but they do a lot of btecs etc to pull the figures up, by the look of it.

ragged · 17/09/2011 13:37

ImNotMyselfToday · 17/09/2011 13:55

According to my LA stats the national average in 2010 for 5 A-C inc Maths & English was 54%

Talker2010 · 17/09/2011 14:31

you are right ... I overestimated on that one

ImNotMyselfToday · 17/09/2011 14:34

my LA doesnt even manage that sorry standard!

MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 17/09/2011 14:37

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Message withdrawn

ragged · 17/09/2011 18:06

OP: have you talked to local parents of kids currently at these schools? I quiz them frequently... Parents, especially those of DD's (high) ability level are always happy at her first preference school. The only parents consistently dissatisfied seem to be parents of kids with SN (not a glowing endorsement, I know, but not something I feel I must take into consideration for DD).

I have very strong feelings about this; my parents moved me to a supposedly superior school according to any published measures, special programme for bright kids, good area of town, all the local parents = teachers and doctors, etc, quite like my own parents.... where I never made friends and had a horrendous time, badly bullied, not dealt with or acknowledged, undermined my self-esteem for life and turned me into a spectacular underachiever for years; I made friends at schools I attended before and after so it wasn't just something about me. I cannot blithely assume that any of my DC will easily make friends anywhere... cannot that for granted.

But like OP, my DD is adamant about attending a school that looks bad on paper (headline GCSE pass rate few years ago of 30%, though they do have a leaver from that or subsequent year group also going up to Oxbridge, as they are never slow to advertise!). Any choice we make will make me nervous, I guess. DD has a very full/satisfying local life with lots of interests and it goes against all my instincts to ship her off somewhere far away requiring hours of commuting each week. So that will be the deciding factor, I think.

MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 17/09/2011 18:29

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Message withdrawn

ohnoshedittant · 17/09/2011 19:02

I think her reasons for going to the other school are very reasonable. It is important to have local friends and fiar enough that she doesn't want a long commute every day.

I went to a school out of area (much better academically than the local schools). The commute (school bus first 2 years and train and a bus after that) was a problem for me....I was often fed up before I'd even got to school, particularly in the winter when it's dark and cold! It also makes that day that bit longer (45 mins to an hour each side of that day).

It also meant that I was unable to join in with any of the after school activities (drama, sport, helper at open evening etc.) as I had to catch the school bus or use pulic transport which my DM wasn't happy for me to do late and alone. It was a problem and I do think it affected my ability to 'fit in' at the school.

However, I still think going to this school was the right decision. I did well in my GCSE's and because I had been at this school was pirority entry for a very good 6th form college, where I got very good A levels. Long term this is far more important than being able to be in the school's production of 'Fame' or living close to your best friend at age 12.

I would try and persaude her though rather than just overrule. If there is a way that you can make sure she is able to still join in with these things (e.g. if you drive/don't work you/her dad could pick her up if she needs to stay late) and maybe find out if other kids locally are going to this school.

Lancelottie · 18/09/2011 21:38

But it's hardly 'far away', is it, at 1.5 miles away? Surely the average teenager would still think of friends as 'local' if they were a couple of miles away? Our nearest secondary is twice that distance. DS2 currently cycles 4 miles each way, and DS1 has to travel 18 (now that actually is too far for a decent social life, poor kid, but the school has other compensations).

Piggychunk · 19/09/2011 08:01

Knowing the area what about Bayhouse? its a massive school so also takes out of catchment children although as its so popular there are limited spaces .
The results seem to be good and the 6th form is one of the best in Hampshire.

ragged · 19/09/2011 08:14

I agree that 1.5 miles is not truly far away.

Original poster

Sofabitch · 19/09/2011 13:39

We did consider bay house but because of where we live there will be very few if any of her friends going there. I think she is coming round to the idea that the better school might be ok. I'm just hoping the school can win her over on the open day.

OP posts:

Moominmammacat · 07/10/2011 11:50

Total choice ... but we only applied for places I approved of!

spiderpig8 · 07/10/2011 13:11

You choose!! that's what being a parent is about, making decisions for thm they are not experienced or mature enough to make themselves.

What will you say 10 years time when she asks you what you were thinking of sending her to a 'shit-hole' of a school when there was a decent one available ?

mummytime · 07/10/2011 14:10

With mine, I consulted fortunately with DC1 we all agreed totally on the order of preferences, and actually he was more desperate then me not to get his 3rd choice. For DC2 she found it hard to choose between 2 schools, in the end she preferred the one her brother was at, so it was simple (if she had chosen the other the odds were she would have ended up at the same school as her brother, which would have been her second choice).
I would look carefully at all options and let her look, even this third school that you have rejected so far, sometimes kids like something even if it involves moving out of their comfort zone.

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