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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

how involved do you get in homework? esp interested in early years of secondary

57 replies

Hatwoman · 09/09/2011 13:32

dd has just started y7. So far (all of 3 days ) I have asked her if she has any and asked if she's done it; and, in one case looked at it, because it was a picture and she was pleased with it and showed me. tbh even this has hardly been necessary - she's so excited about the whole secondary school thing she's told me unbidded and she's sat down to do it at the kitchen table while I cook. "Have you finished?" has been more of a conversational thing - not a checking up thing iyswim. (I'm sure that will change.) My only other contribution has been to suggest that leaving work due in on Wednesday til next week would be a bad idea as she has after school activites.

am I ok in thinking I don't need to manage the timetable for her, sit down with her, look closely at what she's been asked to do, help her and check the finished product? I don't want to do all that - it's her work and managing it and doing it is part of growing up and being independent; secondly I want teachers to see the original product - not something that's been tweaked by me - so that they can get a proper picture of her.

OP posts:

SpringHeeledJack · 12/09/2011 13:27

I left ds to it in Y8, and at the end of Y9 it was quite obvious that this wasn't working- this year (10) am going to have to be standing over him with my arms folded

he started really well in Y7 but the novelty wore off pretty quickly. I'm not going to help him do it- but I'm going to monitor him a lot more closely

Lancelottie · 12/09/2011 13:32

I helicopter like mad for DS1 (but he has Asperger's and gets full-time organisational help at school, being the kind who could lose six workbooks on an empty desk, so it would seem a little unkind to abandon him at home).

I nag DS2 ('No homework? Prove it. Right, nothing in the planner. So why does it say 'maths hw Wednesday' on your timetable? OK, if you phone Sam, might he just possibly know if there really was any?')

I ignore DD, who would die of shame if she forgot to do any.

swanriver · 12/09/2011 13:42

An example is that Ds1 has gone into Yr 7 with his history homework, title page for Romans in exercise book. Minimum 4 pics. He has spent 10 minutes on it, drawn a stick man holding a sword, and bit of scribbly lettering. I expect him to get a low mark. I suggested mosaics and border. He wasn't interested, and just did it as fast as possible (hates drawing/art) I didn't interfere beyond pointing out that he should probably spend a bit more time on it. But he needs to be told by teacher it isn't good enough, to spend 30 minutes next time.
If I was helicopter I would have wrestled it out of his hand and forced him to decorate it with laurel wreaths, catchphrases, latin tags. Sad really, I probably should have...

swanriver · 12/09/2011 13:44

lance ds2 has Asperger's, and I find like you I need to organise him, then actually he does a very good job on his work, probably better than the other two in terms of intellectual depth and being interested in what he's writing.

bonkers20 · 12/09/2011 13:58

I really struggle with this. My head and heart tell me I should be leaving him to organise himself and face the consequences, but I find it very hard to do.

I worry that he doesn't do as well as he could. If he put a bit more time and effort in then he'd do better etc etc.

He gets it done, mostly, but it's messy and only done to the minimum.

I am also very interested in what he's studying and what hw he's got, though I realise to him it might seem like I'm interferring.

He does ask for help when needed.

Theas18 · 12/09/2011 14:48

As above- find out what they have and when they plan to do it. Check/help if asked. Sign book on and off.

Fennel · 12/09/2011 15:11

Actually I meant to put my yr 7, or 11yo, not my "yr 11". I have some hope that by then dd1 might be able to pack two trainers for PE, not just one (like last week).

swanriver · 12/09/2011 23:03

I take it all back.
I've had to help Ds1 all evening with his homework. He was crying because he didn't understand his literacy assignment. He started on completely the wrong tack and totally misunderstood what he was meant to do. He was crying because he couldn't draw a poster for Spanish. He was crying because the Maths took us past 8.30...
But in the end I suppose he did it himself just I had to be there every step of the way.

Oh and his Roman page got sent back, he has to do it again..So the ten mins effort which should have been 30 mins, has sunk in, I hope.

I think today has proved to him he has to START at 4.55, or not have an evening, whether I'm around to help or not.

SpringHeeledJack · 13/09/2011 07:43

swan oh, I feel your pain

iirc loads of ds's Y7 homework involved drawing stuff, making covers for books etc etc- think school were trying to get them into the habit of homework, and make it fun.

unfortunately this is no good for those children- like ds- who don't enjoy drawing/have no aptitude or interest. It's awfully time consuming as well.

swanriver · 13/09/2011 09:27

thanks Jack
It is frustrating when school obviously thinks they are giving a "fun" task and it is more work than a whole page of writing

I have put a note in his homework diary now, at his request, to say that he finds "drawing/illustration" very hard. His pictures look like the scribbles of a five year old, and he can't colour in properly. He is also colour blind, which doesn't help.

slavetofilofax · 13/09/2011 10:23

Completely agree with the last two posts!

My ds has AS and so far, lots of his year 7 homework has invloved 'personalising your sketch book', 'decorating your PSHE folder' or 'drawing a family crest'.

The few bits of actual academic homework have been completed well by ds with the minimum of fuss, he's actually enjoyed doing it, and (shock, horror!) he's actually learned something!

Because of ds's AS, he finds it really hard to do a piece of work if he doesn't see the point of it. In his mind, his sketch book need only have his name on the front for it to be personalised, and I think he has a point! He also has a real lack of imagination, so while I do think his imagination needs to be encouraged, I really don't think this is the way to do it. Plus, it takes so much longer than the recommended 25 minutes per subject.

I really hate homework just for the sake of homework!

CrosswordAddict · 13/09/2011 11:50

Agree about "colouring in" homework. It is very time consuming and not very educational in my opinion.
However, yes, swanriver you can forget cosy evenings by the fireside now and need to concentrate on HW.
At first in Year 7 our twin daughters needed full- on support all the time and it had to be Mummy because Daddy wasn't good enough (their words not mine)
Yes, it is time consuming but what is the alternative? Go in to school and tell the staff he can't do the homework? I don't think he would thank you for being singled out tbh.
Keep plodding on, support him as much as poss. Take no notice of the tears, he's got to get his head down and he'll soon cotton on to the idea.

swanriver · 13/09/2011 12:00

Cross I have the twins to deal with in two years! They are in yr 5 now
No, we do it.
Just want him not to be "broken" by it, for unnecessary reasons. And our family life to go AWOL. After all he needs exercise, he needs sleep and he needs social life as well as homework to prosper.

Hullygully · 13/09/2011 12:04

fucking colouring...

jesus I got sick of colouring.

And the worst of it was the teachers would wink at me and say, Oh I did like your beautiful colouring of Baby Jesus crossing the crocodile river or whatever. The bastards KNOW the parents do it and they still give it to us.

swanriver · 13/09/2011 12:08

some children love it
I used to do School Library lessons (where children were meant to talk about books, take out books) After a bit, it all got a bit untidy (all those books all over the place ) and the Librarian used to give out colouring sheets for the children aged 4-5. The number of times I used to meet little Reception children in street, who would say, Miss, when can we go to the Library and do colouring?
They liked it! A task!

Fennel · 13/09/2011 12:19

My dc might be the exception then as they all love drawing, designing posters etc. Dd1 has happily made a science lab safety poster yesterday (after I'd checked up on her contact book and pointed out she'd forgotten it (sigh). She spelt science as 'sience' in her timetable and as 'scince' on the poster (more sighs,her spelling is incredibly awful) but at least she can make a good poster.

We have not yet had any book-covering or sticky-backed plastic homework but my dc would like that too.

CrosswordAddict · 13/09/2011 13:26

Fennel - I am the queen of sticky back plastic
Swanriver You have my respect! Tackling homework with twins really is hard.... Ours have to be kept separate as they fight so I have to spend HOURS with DD1 and then spend HOURS with DD2
Now I am off to WH Smith's to get more stuff for HW tonight.

swanriver · 13/09/2011 13:56

Cross having twins doing homework has been a useful exercise. I interfere very little! Mixed up Spellings, Wonky grammar, Illegible handwriting, tough. As long as they can hand something (anything) in!!! All perfectionism has been knocked out ofme on that score, as otherwise I'd be supervising homework every waking minute.

CrosswordAddict · 13/09/2011 15:25

Swanriver
Yes, you are wise I feel to back off a bit with the twins.
One DD is now doing her HW in her room and the other has claimed the diningroom table. It kind of works except that the one in her bedroom needs supervision all the time as she is lazy/unfocussed and drifts onto the bed reading and watching TV. I am constantly running up and down stairs which is tiring but I suppose it's good exercise
8pm on Sunday evening she wanted help with her Spanish HW even though she had been "working" in her room all weekend.

doglover · 13/09/2011 20:02

I've a dd in Y7 and a dd in Y8. Neither like us getting involved in their homework - we always offer - so hope they're doing ok!! I get slightly paranoid when other children seem to have copious 'help' but, as others' have said, at leaset mine are being rewarded for their OWN efforts!

HSMM · 14/09/2011 08:19

My DD is in Yr8. She did most of her homework on her own in Yr7, but seemed to think it only needed doing the day before it was due, resulting in several last minute panics. Now she is in Yr8, she just comes in from school, sits down and gets it done. Long may it last. Our involvement is usually only requested when it comes to book covering.

OddBoots · 14/09/2011 09:53

Sorry CrystalChandelier am I reading your post right, your son's school start maths GCSE coursework in Y7?

My ds is in Y8, I help him a bit in terms of organisation (he's another with Asperger's) in terms of working out when he will do each piece, especially for English when a project is set each half term but other than that he does it alone.

I go by his planner as his school is very strict about them, if they arrive without the planner they are issued with a planner page for the day, if they are without it more than twice in a half term they have a detention and likewise if they are caught not putting homework in it then they are put in detention too.

3monkeys · 14/09/2011 11:23

DS1 is another who hates all the 'design a poster' homeowkr they've had so far. It involves me constantly saying - that's messy/not good enough. I think I should just leave him to it!

Fennel · 14/09/2011 13:21

I could corner the market in poster-making and book-covering and decorating, my dc like that sort of thing so much I am under pressure to buy a laminator. You could all email me orders for yr 7 posters, like one of those black market essay writing firms for students.

I've been thinking how much easier it is to loftily say "oh I just leave them to it" if you have a well organised child who's already doing well at school. I have one of those, and there is no need at all to helicopter her. It's much harder to be hands-off with a disorganised child, or with one who's not naturally great at the work, the sort of child you can imagine will just drop down through the groups if you don't remind them to do their homework.

Greensleeves · 14/09/2011 13:28

I would like to be a "let them get on with it" parent

but ds1 doesn't do what it says on the tin unfortunately

for example, he was marked as below average for Design and Technology on his school report last year, which came as a huge shock to everyone - apparently the headteacher called his teacher in to ask what was going on (ds1 has AS and is heavily into science and architecture and design, so should have been good at it)

the teacher said "well, his ideas are good, but it doesn't always come off"

I talked to her about it and she told me about the time they were meant to be making spring-loaded boxes out of cardboard and elastic bands. The brief was that it had to be "something that opens and closes"

ds1 decided to make "a scale model of the earth, with lava erupting out in jets up through the mantle and splitting the crust". With the inside of a toilet roll, an elastic band and some masking tape. And he wouldn't be told.

so I supervise his homework.

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