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Secondary education

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Original poster

dd has been expelled from school Y11, anybody with experience of PRU please come and talk to me

57 replies

expelledfromschool · 08/09/2011 16:25

dd started the new term on tuesday, I received a call that afternoon to tell me that the school were expelling her. I have since found out that it isn't expulsion but a managed move to a PRU for two days and vocational training on the other days.

She has been on a monitoring card last year and we were warned if she failed, this would be the outcome. In the last meeting that I attended first week of June, I was told that she was failing the card. The cards which she brought home didn't reflect this because I was told she had to get over a certain % which she had. I was then told that they were going off emails from her teachers. The inclusion teacher couldn't explain why there was a discrepancy, instead of me just relying on the card that she would email me weekly regarding any behavioural issues. She would be in touch before the end of term to arrange another meeting.

I never received a single email, the card again didn't reflect failing although neither did it reflect excellent behaviour. I wasn't contacted for a meeting so naively thought things were improving. So I am feeling a little shocked to get a call on the first day of term.

The behaviour that has caused this : rude, uncooperative, can't take a telling off has to have the last word, etc etc.

No violence, drugs etc.

I am really worried about the kind of children she will be mixing with, although she obviously has a bad attitude towards authority in school she has never been in trouble with police or anybody outside of school.

The other problem is that the school she attends is out of the borough although it is only a mile away. Due to this the PRU she is to attend is in the same borough but a lot further about fifteen miles, three buses and in a VERY rough area (think shameless). The local PRU is only two miles away.

She is really devastated and came home on the first day full of the joys, determined to change until I burst her bubble. I have told her the choices she has made have led her to this, and she needs to take responsibility for her own actions. Her sidekick at school tends to load the bullets and then stand back whilst dd fires the gun so I am relieved that they will now be separated.

Please share your experiences with me if any of your dc's have attended a PRU, positive or negative.

Please don't flame me, I know my dd has been disrupting other dc's education, I know I have obviously failed as a parent so if you want to tell me what I already know don't bother.

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 08/09/2011 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redglow · 09/09/2011 09:54

Maypole you have no idea what you are talking about. I do not think the OP was asking for your advice on bringing up children.

OP you are not a bad parent some children do not cope very well in a classroom situation and sounds like your daughter maybe one of them. It sounds like the school do not want your daughter there so have managed to get enough paperwork to exclude her.

I am a nanny and used to mind a boy who got excluded he was a lovely child but very cheeky and did not know when to shut up really but a lovely fun honest child. .

These PRU centres are brilliant . The teachers seem so much more dedicated than mainstream schools. They have loads more work experience and my charge also did college at the same time.

They are not all naughty kids some are there that are self harmers, pregnant and some have eating disorders . I can honestly this boy thrived in a PRU. I think mainstream schools could learn a lot from them.

redglow · 09/09/2011 09:59

Funny this boy got excluded on the first day of term too without much warning. It sounds so similar to your daughter he walked straight into an apprenticeship when he left school thanks to his work experience and is doing really well so far.

rocketty · 09/09/2011 10:27

OP, are there any other options? Could you home ed? Could you start her at a different state school, or an independent? What does your DD want to do after this year? Is there an FE college she could attend instead, where she'll be treated more like an adult (but expected to behave that way too).

It sounds like you're having a really rough time. I hope that you and your DD manage to get something positive from this experience.

asianbabe · 09/09/2011 12:37

My son had to attend a PRU due to being excluded from a very strict private school due to his behaviour he also was never violent. My son had an awful time the children at his PRU had severe behavioural issues and were very violent and at times dangerous. they even tried to set fire to him!! My son only did two days before it was decided by the head that he would be better having one to one sessions.

As a parent who has had their child attend a PRU I just wanted to inform you that your daughter may witness some disturbing behaviour from the other children that can be both shocking and traumatic.

redglow · 09/09/2011 14:08

Must vary from different areas becase the one my charge attended was fine and there was no time to mix outside the classroom.

Original poster
expelledfromschool · 09/09/2011 19:17

It has hit me today, feel so low. Just empty inside.

After reading all the posts I am just hoping that it is one of the better PRU's.

I am going to have a look at some online learning courses.

OP posts:
bananatrifle · 09/09/2011 19:21

You're in a pooey situation, but it'll be ok. You're bound to feel the way you do now and it's easy to see the downside to everything. But.... that's blinking life for you..... throws poo at you in all shapes and we have to just bat it back (somewhere).

It'll be ok.

redglow · 09/09/2011 19:31

Do not worry she will be fine, could you not push the school for a managed move to another school not a PRU. Go and see a the PRU they must really vary. I feel sorry for you and your daughter such a nasty suprise for you.

asianbabe · 09/09/2011 21:54

I know exactly how you feel it's an absolutely awful situation to be in. On a positive note the teachers at the PRU were wonderful unfortunately the kids were very disturbed. the harsh reality is that the majority of children that attend the PRU are unable to function in mainstream school and thus have extreme problem behaviours.

I have also worked with a variety of PRU's in my professional career as well and to be brutally honest they were all very similar.

Really hope things work out for your daughter

Original poster
expelledfromschool · 10/09/2011 15:39

Well I have received the breakdown of the behavioural issues emailed by teachers.

From 27 Sep - 19 Jul there are 70 Shock

A high % of them are refusal to do PE, this started when she had repeated ingrowing toe nails, she has a total paranoia about her feet (mahoosive) despite a letters from me they insisted on her showing them her feet and from then on the battle lines were drawn.

Also lates are recorded as behaviour issues, (she leaves in plenty of time, so no excuse)

They range from really bad, refusing to do work and swearing to having a water fight at lunch (july) with the rest of the school. A lot of the behaviour listed is stuff that the whole class have been involved in but as she is the only one on a card, only her behaviour is reported.

I feel a little better now I have the actual information to hand, I can see that although her behaviour has been poor, she is not the child from hell.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 10/09/2011 16:00

Pru's can be excellent any many pupils for whom
School is nit the answer really thrive there with smaller classes, more one to one time and a real focus on emotional development if needed.

But i disagree with redglow - the teachers there are nit 'more dedicated' than those in mainstream schools Hmm, they're just as dedicated but teaching in a very different environment with a different set of rules and goals

redglow · 10/09/2011 16:07

Maybe you are right pottering I expect there are good and bad teachers in every school.

Sounds like your daughte has done lots of silly petty things as my charge had done the main one not doing his top button up. Trouble is as with your daughter once they start to get a bad name it sticks. I think she will be fine good luck and let us know how she gets on.

gingeroots · 10/09/2011 17:51

It doesn't sound like behaviour warranting exclusion .
What have they done /offered to help your DD manage her behaviour ?
Apart from punishing her ?

admission · 10/09/2011 21:09

This needs to be sorted out quickly.
Refusal to do PE, lateness etc is not things where exclusion is considered appropriate. Swearing etc might be but not a permanent exclusion.
I repeat what I said in my first post, a managed move is not an exclusion but from what you have said, I would suggest that the school is using a managed move as a means of getting rid of your daughter.
Unless you agree to the managed move it should not be happening and as such you need to consider very carefully whether the managed move to a PRU is actually the right move for your daughter or whether you are being pushed into it by the school.

Tigerstripes · 10/09/2011 22:30

Was it swearing AT the teacher or just swearing within earshot of a teacher? Because swearing at the teacher is a major punishment at my school and a couple of instances of this would lead to internal seclusion. Sounds like there's a long catalogue of misdemeanour and perhaps more serious incidents. How has she been punished before? What's the behaviour policy? There should be a clear policy as to how students can get up to exclusion.

Another issue: how has she done English already when she's just started year 11? Are you sure she's done everything? Is very unusual to complete the entire course this early.

lifechanger · 11/09/2011 00:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maypole1 · 11/09/2011 00:16

admission in my sons school it would be some schools are a bit slack but my dd school has a line draw in the sand if you cross it you are out

Ity depends on the ethos and stiffness of the school

maypole1 · 11/09/2011 00:18

Also why as parent would op want to get dd In a school were she is not want so much so the teachers are shouting with joy at the news she is leaving

nessus · 11/09/2011 17:22

You get four perspectives with me - I teach (CTLLS), was expelled from secondary school(s) in 1994/95 (Yr.8 & Yr.9), have worked in PRUs as a teacher and I have a spirited DD who I have been known to threaten with deportation in the past to get her to reassess her behavior at school!

Firstly, think it great that there is a vocational element to the expulsion order. Seriously, many parents in her year group would have been grateful for this I know. If your daughter resents going to 'centre' she will either not attend or be disruptive whilst in attendance. On the other hand, a VQ scheme will seem almost like starting college/6th form early and you should try and sell her the benefits of this early on. If she really dislikes being told what to do, let her know that if she approaches this right she could be given the opportunity of choosing her subjects and options which should encourage a sense of control, responsibility, commitment and maturity on her part.

I am all for making the best of situations hence why instead of going on about why did the school wait until the start of the new school year to inform you. Why were they happy for her to start on roll for Yr.11 if they knew on the last day of term of Yr.10 she would not be retaining her place. Appeal you could but as already mentioned, why would you want this for your child. It is like being served with a divorce notice and refusing to sign...

Your daughter is pretty lucky that she made it this far - she could be on her 2nd or 3rd expulsion if her documented misbehaving really has been going on for that long. And that would be terrible because no-one, not even PRU would want to touch her.

Another option is that she could sit take her GCSEs privately (my experience is that students at a PRU have had their education so severely disrupted that they are just not where they need to be for their age group which means it is often necessary to enter them for alternative qualifications rather than the general exams). City & Guilds offer equivalent qualifications but depending on what she hopes to do in the future she may still need GCSE specifically. Be reminded that until she is 18, qualifications can be attained for free/almost so it is in her best interest to resume her studies sooner rather than later.

Lastly, I would encourage you to find out from your child what is really going on - myself, I was being bullied, had a difficult at home and was in and out of care at crucial developmental stages. Not an excuse but mitigating nonetheless because people do not play up for no reason IMHO

I wish your daughter good luck, she will have to deal with the ramifications of her actions for many years but she will hopefully positively astound you in years to come because that spirited personality of hers will actually be a plus in years to come as we all know but for now, she must learn that socialisation is a must if you do not want to be labeled and failed before you have even started. I know it is hard for you not to fill like a failure right now but without sounding harsh, it really is not about you but your young adult - note I did not write child - let her learn from this by enabling her to mover herself on, if you make it your fight, she will just keep repeating the same pattern because they need to learn that there are somethings that we cannot make right...

nessus · 11/09/2011 17:26

FEEL not fill!!

complexnumber · 11/09/2011 17:48

nessus, that was one of the most well thought out, helpful and intelligent responses I have read for a long time.

I hope the OP finds it the same way.

sunshinenanny · 11/09/2011 18:59

My friends son was excluded and sent to a PRU and has done brilliantly well.
I hope things work out for you and your daughter.

redglow · 11/09/2011 22:03

Nessus what a brilliant helpful response. You sound like you are in the right job.

Original poster
expelledfromschool · 11/09/2011 23:30

Thank you nessus, for your perspectives. I believe the VQ will benefit her, she can hold a job down, she can get along with people, some teachers have never had any issues with dd.

When we have some information it will be less daunting.

dd just wants to know, she seems quite relaxed, but it has shocked her. I think she will be upset on her last day. Hopefully we should know more tomorrow.

Thanks for replies

OP posts: