Pressures of high expectations on GCSE students

[roisin]

ds1 has always been a high achiever, but sometimes he gets a bit stressed by the fact that everyone "just expects" him to do well. In order to do so, he works extremely hard (which is recognised by his teachers.)

We always say to the boys that all we expect is that they try their hardest and do their best.

However, I think the pressure will be ramped up in the GCSE years.

ds1 is choosing options now and has just received extremely high predicted GCSE grades from school.

I know there are people here with children at very high achieving schools where 10+ As/A*s is very much the expected/norm.

Any tips on avoiding pressure and stress?

My ds is supposed to be doing IGCSE French this year (year 10) and to take AS alongside his other IGCSEs next year.

He doesn't feel ready to do that (and he is supposed to be the brightest of his year group), as there is lots of hassle with dps parents which is affecting us all, and he is on his third load of antibiotics since half term as he has recurring tonsillitis that won't go. He hasn't felt well since November and I think he may have glandular fever.

I am pulling him from the exam, it's another stress he doesn't need, and I don't think that doing an AS he doesn't want to do, alongside 11 other IGCSEs is a good idea.

The pressure does ramp up, and my ds needs hugs and reassurance that he is doing OK. I think they make the GCSEs harder in their own minds than they really are, and that by learning how to analyse the questions and identify the key words (like explain rather than describe) and precisely what it is they are being asked to do, it makes a big difference and wins half the battle (as an examiner, I am always astounded by how many students answer what they wanted to be on the paper as opposed to what is actually asked!).

The other observation I would make, is that if they have coasted (and my ds has) since Year 7, then actually getting down to the work is tough. It may be the first time they've had to stretch their brains for a while and it hurts. I've been through this with year 10 and 11 tutor groups, but it is far more difficult with my own ds!

Thanks scaryteacher.

Fortunately ds1 hasn't coasted in KS3. He could have got away with doing very little and still got good grades, but actually his teachers have been fantastic at challenging and motivating him and he's always put in a huge amount of effort. As a result he's got exceptional attainment and commitment grades.

Keep a calm and relaxed attitude to grades at home and the battle is more than half won imo.

I do think it creates extra stress when schools tell children it will be a statistical aberation if they don't achieve straight A*s but if as parents you point out that everyone slips up or has off days sometimes and dropping the occasional grade isn't the end of the world then they are likely to be more relaxed about it.

To be honest though roisin, with his hardworking attitude and excellent ability, he will almost certainly do extremely well. The important thing is that he doesn't worry about it & get stressed - there is no need.

Hi roisin, I can sympathise with your DS re 'everyone expects me to do well'. if it's anything like my experience, other students (usually with lower predicted grades) will say to him 'what are YOU worried about, it's not like YOU'LL fail', not realising that if he gets a B/C everybody will treat it as a fail (in his head at least).

I think what gradually helped me over the years was to realise that getting a B (or whatever your DS is afraid of) is really NOT the end of the world. I suppose it's a sort of CBT strategy really... where you picture what in your mind is the worst scenario, and gradually realise that it would be ok.

This happened mostly from seeing other family members not do as well as they hoped (failed driving test for eg), and then come back from it.