What is an appropriate punishment from school in this situation? Bit long - sorry!

[lilibet]

Ds2 is 14, he is on the school rugby and football teams, winning prizes for both in the last school year. He is forcast an A in the subject at GCSE. He loves all things sport at achool and is very good at all apects of it. He is not* a model pupil, he in constanly in trouble for not having his shirt tucked in, top button undone and his homework is a bit hit and miss in some subjects, but he could be an awful lot worse IYSWIM.

Before half term in February he came across one of the PE teachers in the corridor and challenged his team selection for the football team. He was alone when he did this. Ds2?s argument was that there were boys who never went to training who automatically got a place whereas some boys turned up for training every week and didn?t even get on the bench. He had been picked for this match and had attended training. The teacher told him that this ?wasn?t five a side? and it was his team and up to him to make the selection. Ds2 described him at this point as ?angry?, the conversation continued, Ds2 admits that he had a tone in his voice and it ended with him saying that he no longer wanted to be on the team. What he was supposed to do if he wanted to quit the team was go to a meeting with the teacher and Head of PE and submit his resignation in writing, this meeting was set for the following day and he forgot to go ? I can believe this ? he forgets everything if it isn?t written down. He was then called to the Head of PE?s office and given his punishment.

In your opinion what would have been suitable?

This is ridiculous. He forgot the bloody meeting for heavens sake, he did not smoke behind the back of a bike shed or swear etc. An innocent mistake.

If he had forgotten and then been given a warning e.g. we will reschedule but if you forget that time then we will stop extra activities etc. but they did not.

He is 14, yes that's getting responsible but still young. Do they simply expect perfection ALL the time/

What a horribly inflexible school (or just PE department).

Well, the football/rugger seasons are ending soon, so presumably he wouldn't be playing either in the summer term.

I would hoist the school with their own petard and see if there are teams outside school with whom he could play, and make sure he doesn't play for school again. I loathe the fact that those who turn up regularly don't get picked, whilst the teachers pets ( and that is what they are) are chosen regardless. That's the way to discourage those who are interested, and I'm glad your lad can see through that and has the guts to challenge it (albeit perhaps not in the right way).

I was threatened by a teacher at ds's school recently regarding an extra curricular activity I run. She threatened me with the head of secondary - my response was fine, and let's run what you're saying past your HoD and the Principal as well, bring it on! She backed down rapidly.

This is ridiculous,I hate to say it but in my experience PE depts have little or no sense of perspective!

The bit about him not clearing it with school official channels because it is extra curricular is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.If he is representing the school then it is an official school matter.You can't say extra curriculars are exempt from child protection rules or health and safety etc...If it is under the auspisis (sorry sp)of the school,takes place in school grounds with school staff etc then it is a school matter .

I would take this further this smacks of mini dictator to me and sometimes these people need to be reminded of their responsibilities.

Having said all that I do think there should have been a punishment but this is out of all proportion

Terrible, sounds like teacher is making it up! Eloquently!! But still making it up. completely out of kilter with the misdemeanor, particularly as the point was valid.

The pe teacher should have given detention for the tone of the dc and fornot turning up and maybe punished by also missing a match, but to ban for rest of year is just bordering on cruel. he should have given punishment in keeping with behaviour but should have retained respect by addressing the boys concern about treatment of team members which was commendable of the boy even if expressed badly, but after all he is 14 - what does he expect, the boy to act like an adult would in expressing an opinion?

this is sadly a practice at many schools, whereby players that are committed and always turn up are not given a chance over those that don't. This boy exposed this and was punished ott for speaking out over a very unfair and non inclusive practice.

I'm just nipping back to say thanks - had a busy night, going to sit with dh and come up with an answer

Thanks again

I'm sorry but to me it sounds fair enough. Maybe that is because my boys are at a strict independent though. He knew the policy, he didn't comply, he didn't apologise.

I think you're in danger of picking a fight that can't be won. For starterd, the teacher is less likely to back down now that letters/emails are being written. It's a shame there was no opportunity to aplogise and reschedule the meeting but then he knew the rules, he knew the consequences....this is how lessons are learnt. It may seem tough but it's better learnt this way than later on in life when the stakes matter far more. Of course, my inner tiger would be raging if was my DS so I can understand! :)

does seem very harsh in the circumstances. DS's school are suddenly handing out punishments which seem very very extreme, to include the threat of expelling (or excluding as they call it now) a student just months before A levels for something which I thought sounded very very minor
What on earth happens to pupils in that situation? Assume they can't finish their course/take exams/go to uni?

Hope you manage to get it resolved as amicably as possible OP

lillibet - what happened?

Yes ,how's it going ?

This is far too harsh especially when he had a really valid point.