Cost of leaving 6th form

[mummyflood]

DS1 parted company with school 6th form approx 4 weeks ago. To cut a long story short, he is a week away from final selection for the RAF, having brought his application forward 18 months following the Defence Review, and the process having gone far, far quicker than any of us expected.

The school has been aware for at least the last 3 years that it is his intention to join the RAF, in fact his options choices incorporated this, having chosen Cert for Entry to the Uniformed Services amongst others. However, when he expressed concern about going on a 4 day residential trip at very short notice due to the fact he was awaiting an imminent date for a fitness test, he was told that should he not go on the trip he would not be able to continue with the subject and the school were not prepared to let him stay with only two subjects. He was told to think about it overnight and give them a decision the following morning. The teacher concerned said he believed that it was in DS's best interests to DEFER his RAF application until 6th form had been completed, but should he 'decide' to leave, it would cost the school a lot of money. I spoke to the teacher over the phone, and explained that WE did not think it in his best interests at all to stall his application in view of the current climate and felt it could jeopardise his chances completely, and after all, surely the school should be supporting the students in achieving a career when the opportunity arises. At no time during the phone conversation was the money aspect mentioned. Having being backed into a corner DS subsequently left the next day.

Fast forward to this evening. One of DS's friends is studying the same subjects however is a year above, and is struggling. The same teacher has told him that he risks being basically asked to leave imminently, and said "when mummyflood's son left it cost the school £4k"

Said teacher has recently been allocated as DS2's so-called 'academic mentor'. Teacher is a PE teacher and has some position in 6th form, not sure what exactly. DS2 is in Year 10. We have a meeting with HOY next Thursday as DS2 is not making sufficient progress in Science and I have asked to speak to his science teachers or get some feedback on what we can do at home to support him and what the school have put in place (school sent us a letter alerting us to their concern)

Would appreciate comments as to what, if anything, I should say to the school - (a) is the £4k likely to be accurate, (b) should teacher be discussing this with another student and involving DS1 by name, and (c) given this teacher's overall approach, would I be justified in being concerned with him giving advice and guidance on an academic level (or anything else to be honest) to DS2??!

Hi mommyflood,
a)doesn't really matter if the school has lost 4k as it was them who decided DS1 couldn't continue with only 2 subjects, astonished at this as it in your sons career interests to get 2 A levels. My son was allowed to take 2, he too is a final inteview away from a RAF career. The school were happy for him to continue with just 2 A levels as the RAF requires 2 A levels for Officer training, which would give hime that option if he so required it. He actually wants to go in as airman as he feels he lacks confidence and wants to learn Air Traffic Control from the bottom up, but the option to apply for commision in future will still be available.
b) totally unprofesseional to be discussing your DS1 with another student
and C) yes your totally justified in being concerned with any dealings with this unprofessional person.
Congrats to your son on getting past all the RAF interviews in light of the all the test requirements being significantly raised since Jan 2011!
Good luck with your DS2.

s a teacher myself, i would suggest you write to the Head and ask for him to investigate this for you. I would consider it to be highly unprofessional behaviour and, whilst you heard of this conversation second hand, if it is true, then the teacher in question needs to be reminded of what the word discretion means.

I can only assume that the sixth form is at risk and that with recent cuts, they are very sensitive about funding.

None of that is relevent to your son who must make his own decisions about his future

Thanks to both of you.

lelley, our DS's sound uncannily similar, pity the schools are not! DS was initially intending to apply for Officer entry at 18. Combination of confidence and SDSR made us all have a rethink and bring his application forward, he is hoping to enter as airman (AMMav), and look towards maybe promotion in the future. Best of luck to your DS for his final interview, would be interested to know what it entails - does he know when it is? I would be really grateful if you would be prepared to either update on here or PM me?

Migrating - it's the unprofessionalism that concerns me most, I don't think this guy is exactly the ideal person to mentor DS2 - he's not exactly my idea of a good role model, and this issue aside, I would prefer DS to be mentored by someone more closely connected to the subjects in which he is struggling, or at least someone who teaches academic subjects. However, if DS2 wasn't having problems, to be honest I would probably let it drop and not rock the boat so-to-speak, as I want the boys treated as individuals and wouldn't want to draw their relationship to the attention of someone who has already had less than positive dealings with DS1. Hope that makes sense! But as DS1's name is obviously still on this teacher's mind, he is bound to make the connection anyway as DS2 is now on his concern list, so I think I do need to bring this up when I ask for a different mentor to be allocated!

If anyone has any suggestions as to how I can be diplomatic but firm when I meet with DS2's HOY next week I would be grateful. Apart from tackling the mentor issue and progress in general, we have just had a letter re: work experience for DS2, set for November - arrangements to be made by 14 April. Something else to discuss - oh joy - am not convinced that this is (a) relevant in Yr10 or (b) in DS2's best interests as I would far rather he spend the week in school concentrating on his school work in light of the concerns, but again boat-rocking is not the way I want to go if I can avoid it! Just wondering if they actually mean it when they say we have a choice whether to give permission or not for him to do it!

I think work experience is one of those things they have to do (its standard to do the week in school time). Planning this early means they can match up students with their ideal job place. I do see this as entirely normal. If you really want your son to do school work, then organise his work experience in the summer holidays and then insist that he goes to the library all week in the autumn to do revision, catchup,coursework.

On the first issue, I would be honest, frank and polite. In other words, don't attempt to paint your DS2 as an angel (teachers hate this kind of blind denial ) and fully admit to his strengths and weaknesses.

Start the critism of the mentor with 'I'm sure mr x is a really good teacher and has worked with many other children very successfully but....'
You may not believe it (and the HOY may also know its false) but it helps for you both to keep it civil and polite.

Good luck, I know exactly what you mean about not rocking the boat. Sometimes, though, its worth it to try.

Thanks Migrating. Oh believe me, we are under no illusions that DS2 is an angel, of which his HOY is well aware. We have several chats with her over the last few months for reasons which I won't bore you with, and SHE has been keen to play the issues down, citing the transition from Yr9 to Yr10 as the reason for most of them (range from emotional problems to homework problems and forgotten detentions) whereas I have always approached it from the angle of supporting the school in any sanctions they want to impose, of which DS2 is well aware, and have always asked to be 'kept in the loop' so I can back them up whenever possible.
However I am also keen to ensure that he receives the support he needs - his HOY amongst others has been magnificent in this respect since Year 7, but I now feel strongly that this particular teacher is not one that I would like involved with him in this capacity.

I'm not looking forward to the conversation - thanks for your tips on how to keep it polite and respectful, it will definitely be through gritted teeth (perhaps on both sides ) and also the advice re; the work experience - excellent idea to do it in the 6 weeks if the school are agreeable, will ask!

The work experience shift in dates is a common one if the child wants to do something very specific (or has somewhere lined up found by the family) that cannot be managed in the dates given.

If you sent, for instance, your son to a graphic designers that could only 'do' dates in August then the school should accept this as a reasonable plan, as long as he then spent the autumn week in the library.

The key is to find what he wants to do and find a placement like this yourselves

ps i wish all parents were like you!

Mummyflood have pm'd you