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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Would you lie about your child being accepted to a school

12 replies

lemonysnickett · 17/02/2011 22:34

So, just wondering - with all the pressure surrounding 11+ and entrance exams would you lie if your child wasn't accepted at one. I think this has happened at my daughters school. Initialy child said she didn't get in and now saying she has. I can't believe tat smeone would actually lie and pretend they got in when they didn't. Would you??

OP posts:

CameronCook · 17/02/2011 22:36

Well some people initially don't pass the entrance exam, but then a lot of people who did get places at the state school of their choice thus freeing up places for those on the waiting list.

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 17/02/2011 22:40

people definitely DO lie

' she decided not to go' after sitting 11+ and being tutored for months/years

thenevernever · 17/02/2011 23:06

Yes it happens but I would imagine (hope) its more to do with the child not feeling a failure, rather than the parents keeping up with the joneses.

PatriciaHolm · 18/02/2011 09:42

Surely it'll be obvious in September that they lied??!!

meditrina · 18/02/2011 09:45

It strikes me as remarkably pointless because all will become clear in September.

But it is possible that parents whose children sat for more than one school, or who have decided to move, will turn down a school place and the near-miss child at the top of the waiting list will be offered a place after the first round of offers.

pagwatch · 18/02/2011 09:54

It is also possible that a child will have been accepted at more than one school. Or may get a provisional no but then places are freed up as children with more than one offer make their choice iyswim.

So ds1 got accepted at three different schools. When we chose the one he wanted two other boys got the other offered places. Does that make sense?

But if people fib it may be part of trying to steer a child through the whole ' you've been rejected' experience.

We have always told the children that they only have a certain number of places so they mussy just give it a go but may well not get in. And have always stressed ' no pressure - let's just see what happens' . That ratchets down the pressure. Also the reason why we have never and would never do tutoring. You can't pretend to a child that it is acrelaxed process if you are giving them special lessons

alienbump · 18/02/2011 09:56

Ha, that's the case with my DS "he passed but decided not to go". But he really did pass and after a tiny bit of persuasion from me, did choose the local High School not the scary boys Grammar which he had previously set his heart on... Wonder if everyone thinks I lied about him passing?!

sue52 · 18/02/2011 11:13

Maybe they got in after the head teacher appealed. It's a bit ridiculous to lie about it.

GrimmaTheNome · 18/02/2011 11:20

Initialy child said she didn't get in and now saying she has.

maybe she is on waiting list for residual place or something.

crazycarol · 18/02/2011 14:41

A neighbour of mine told me that her grandson was offered a scholarship to a local private school but missed out on a place because their application form was a day late in arriving so he didn't get to do the tests.
I had just told her (when she asked me - I didn't volunteer the info) that my dd had got into another local private school.
I know that she lied to me as scholarships are only offered AFTER the tests as the brightest kids are invited back after the first round of tests for the scholarship ones. I know this as it was my school (and we looked into dd going there but she didn't like it).

I have no idea why she lied in this way, wishful thinking or jealousy perhaps.

Original poster

lemonysnickett · 18/02/2011 18:07

Now I hate to say it but the parent in question is a bit of a busy body herself..infact she seemed to think that it would only be her DD and one other child that would get offers to top school...so much so that during the lead up to the tests these two girls were told to stick together and not play with other girls...(don't think they were clever enough). It does seem pointless but some people do set themselves up...they were quite openly boastful.

OP posts:

MrsGrahamBellForTheSkiSeason · 19/02/2011 07:30

I do know someone who lied. She was desparate for a particular indie school for her DS which his bro was at. He applied for 10+ and was not offered a place. He applied a year later for 11+ with other schools as insurance backup and again was not offered a place at school A. The parents accepted another highly achieiving school, but claimed the boy had been offered a place and also a scholarship, but they chose a diffrent school for him. I know it is not true. I suppose it saved face for him/them.

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