Can teachers tell when parents do the HW?

[mumhp]

My daughter is in year 7 at a large comp and is in the top stream. We think she is doing fine, but she complains that others are a lot cleverer than her. The school uses a rewards system called vivomiles and she hasn't won many, but there are some kids that have. They rank them in league tables which are published on their website and this term those with the most go on a trip to Barcelona. I recently found out from talking to one of the parents of these super successful kids that they don't just help with homework, they actually do it. They tell the kids what to write, to the extent of dictation or doing their artwork etc. The parent seemed rather proud of themself! However the work is then rewarded with vivomiles, the child praised and the others made to feel inadequate. These kids also seem to be the ones picked to be on the school magazine board, in newspaper features, designing the school Xmas card and other special things. It is always the same kids so I am beginning to think this isn't very fair - it is a massive school with an intake of 240 per year. I cannot believe that the teachers don't notice, or have they and are they just playing along?

Dunno, but I once dictated an essay for DS having got fed up with the whole weekend of him procrastinating, then was totally mortified when he/I won a prize and a special mention in assembly so have never done it since.

I think there's a fine line between 'supported through the work' and 'did it for them' (and my suggestions to language-duffer DS yesterday were the wrong side of it, but it's survival tactics in the Lottie household atm)

LL: Right DS. You have to write a paragraph about your favourite holiday. In German. Sooo...
DS: Can't do it, argh, no, I hate this
LL: So where would you go? In English.
DS: Wales I spose. Umm. Cornwall. Dunno. Austria except I'm afraid of rabies. I hate being afraid of things. Why do I have to be me?? I hate being me
LL (loudly): OK DS, what's Wales in German? And are you going by train or fahring mit dem Auto?
DS: Umm, fahr mit Auto. No, train. fahr ein train then. What's 'to'? What's train? Aaargh... Wales is Wales I think.
LL: so, is 'Ich fahre mit dem Zug nach Wales' OK by you? DS? Would that do??

Gah, my parents NEVER and I mean never, did a single piece of HW, or even talked to me about HW. I was always quite resentful that they weren't the sort of intellectual, arty parents who did know a lot about everything who could help with HW.

Once though in primary school, a girl brought a piece of artwork in for a competition that had probably not only been done by her parents but quite possibly by a professional artist . Her mum was a PTA governor or whatever it's called, and her dad contributed loads of £££ to the school funds. She won 2nd prize. Obviously the teachers couldn't bear her to win 1st prize when so clearly it had been done by a talented adult (she was no child prodigy in art, there was really no way she'd done it) but they felt they had to place her obviously because of her parents' connections to the school. Even at aged 8 I could see what was going on and we (the kids) all thought it stunk. Her parents should have known better though, but then they were arrogant sorts...

Lottie - how many bottles of gin did it take??

Mum HP - that is a really horrible situation for your daughter and she has a few years of it to go too - I presume you have talked to her about it being the parents that are getting the vivomiles and not the kids? (So that she doesn't feel that the others are more clever than her?).

I don't think you are ever going to change the schools (shitty) attitude to it, so either she understands what is at play or if it is still upsetting her (which is understandable - it's pretty crap to know that no matter how hard you work or how well you do, you will never be acknowledged) would you consider changing schools? I would, I don't think this is a healthy atmosphere for her.

My daughter doesn't let me review her hwk anymore. In year 5 her teacher told them that they had to get used to working independently, and to not ask for help unless they were REALLY stuck.

Perhaps they had encountered parent-produced hwk.

Obviously, I didn't discourage her.

I remember an Easter Bonnet competition at my primary school. We had to traipse around a ring wearing our efforts at the school fair. I was about 7 and had stuck crepe paper flowers etc on a card top hat. It was so embarrassing-there were children there with the most amazing creations. The boy who won had something resembling the Cutty Sark on his head (perhaps he was Philip Treacy), and the girl had a basket of fruit worthy of a milliner. I was utterly demoralised.

I think schools should really clamp down on homework being done by parents. One of my best friends drives me mad with this, she even had one of her kids crying the other week because she had done his homework for him when he wanted to do it himself! (Build a castle). Her arguement - she wanted his to be the best! FFS

If parents at my school are doing homework for their DCs, they must be pretty rubbish at languages!! They certainly seem to produce work at the same level as their kids!

I have, on occasion, bailed my children out buy helping more than i should but ive never done their homework for them. They have one free pass per half term where I will chip in.

Ds1 (y7) had to write a song recently. He wailed about it and wanted me to do it. I told him that I could do it in under 15 minutes, blindfolded and with my right arm tied behind my back and it would be bloody obvious that he'd done none of it. I wrote the first two lines to set him off in the right direction and then simply encouraged him.

My involvement in DS1s HW should really be no more than nagging him to do it. As it's his first term, I get a little more involved giving suggestions if necessary or if asked for help. I do not agree with HW in primary school, and it isnt marked anyway, so I am happy to be a little more involved for DS2 but stop well short of doing it for him.

I agree that the child gets no benefit from having a parent do it (bar the obvious!). What is being described by the OP is appalling.

Yup.... I can tell....