Sobbing YR7 taken to school this am

[welshie10]

Have left my yr 7 d. at school sobbing this am. School and teachers are wonderful and have suggested many things to help her settle but say that she is being v negative about joining in etc. she is clinging to me as if she is back in the recption class and i am at my wits end. help andadvice welcomed

Can you give some more background please? Is/has she been bullied or something, or is she extremely shy?

no no bullying.most of classmates went to another school,hers is a 30 minutes coach ride and and early start so she isnt too keen on this but making friends is the most pressing issue-when this is conquered all else will slot into place. she is clever the lessons are not difficult for her and the teachers are really lovely

Hm - that description could be my DD (didn't know any classmates, long bus ride) but she has settled... so it is possible.

First thing, is there any way she can get to sit with someone sympatico on the coach? That could make a huge difference.

Obvious suggestion, but are there any clubs your DD would enjoy but hasn't tried?

have been to school this am they are getting her to try a lunchtime craft club thing-from the look on her face she wasnt keen but she said she will try. also said she will try and take someone with her. her house has a bit of a bunch in it who all know each other from former school so it is difficult for her to join the hub tho she has tried.

Another thought - does she have friends from her old school or locally she's still in touch with? Doing things with them out of school might help her confidence by reassuring her she's not really billy no mates.

Oh I am so sorry

DD was a bit like this to start with. But thank god she is getting better. It was just time, encouragement and lots of support. Also making sure she gets to see all her old friends quite often so she doesn't feel cut off as she left most of her friends behind.

How was today - any better?

hmm she cam home q positive (didnt go to the lunchtime club so teachers werent v happy with her)but has arranged to meet a girl on saturday afternoon. However -have had a phone call oin last 20 mins saying she is feeling sick and can i go pick her up!!

Re-old friends -she has completely cut her self off from them -this is almost more worringing for me -her birthday was in half term and she didnt even want a party. if i suggest one of her old friends coming over she just dismisses it.

Is there a reason she didn't go to the same school as her friends?

we looked at many schools, her brother was already at this indep. school and she decided as well as us that that was the one. I have now got the prospectus for another school slightly closer to home-I feel that I do not know what to do next or for the best!

Oh dear, that's difficult. Well, hope the weekend thing goes OK anyway.

Presumably she's not just focussing on joining the 'bunch' of girls who already know each other - there must be other girls.

TBH I thought most schools tried to spread kids around so there wasn't that sort of cluster.

Cutting off from her old friends is worrying - are you sure there hasn't been any sort of bullying in the past (text/cyber or whatever) that's made her mistrustful now?