Do you really think it matters if we don't attend Y7 parents eve at DS's new secondary...

[ampere]

..seeing as he's been there 8 weeks?! And it's a huge school thus I would be frankly amazed if the teachers even knew who my middle-of-the road, 'B' grade performing, well-behaved DS was? We don't get to meet his tutor unless your DC has a subject with them (mine doesn't); it's a highly regarded school that will produce detailed reports at Xmas and end-of-year, and it's a school that would tell you if there was a problem!

As it happens we will meet his English, Maths and Spanish teacher (as those are the ones DS arranged for us to see!) but really, in the absence of 'issues', is it a bit of a waste of time?!

If your DS has already arranged some appointments for you that implies he is keen for you to go. If you now don't bother to go (for whatever reason) you're sending a message to him that you don't care about his education. Might leave him feeling a bit deflated.

I actually think it is a little sad that you think of your own DS as someone who wouldn't make an impact, wouldn't leave a mark, wouldn't be remembered.

I am sure he has a lovely personality, with a nice character and the teachers will have picked up on that?

Don't you want to know how he is settling in to the classes, and school in general? They will know that from how he is in individual classes.

What Lougle said.

Ampere, you will want to glean as much information possible.

Secondary school is a whole different ball game.

rosin, think that is a reasonable balance...the parents evening is for parents to use to get get any feedback they particularly want...and for teachers to meet with parents (particularly any you have concerns about)

My reading of the OP ( and thereafter) was that they had appointments with some teachers...but wanted to know if they should see all.

Have I read this wrongly?

Go. My parents often didn't go to mine as they found it a bit inconvenient, and they knew I got 'A's, didn't get in trouble etc... I never said but it really upset me that they couldn't be arsed.

Oh, I will definitely be going. I am too conventional and well-behaved myself to kick against these traces! But I go in the reasonably sure knowledge that this, 8 weeks into a secondary career, is a bit of a box-ticking exercise. I would be very surprised to hear anything I didn't already know (cue the teacher above who said that parents evenings tend to be 'praise-fests' as only the parents of the well-behaved/achieving to expectations etc go!). Also, following CATS tests, some of the teachers I will see may no longer be teaching my DS by next Monday as a result!

DS has to make the appointments himself. He's managed 3 out of the 4 we asked him to arrange. He hasn't sorted Science. I would have felt this would have been more useful if we could have met his actual 'tutor' who he will apparently have for the next 5 years (although other longer term mums have told me this isn't necessarily so!).

Whilst I take on board the suggestions that my/our non-attendance may be interpreted by DS as non-interest, the fact is we, as a family know we are 100% committed to the DSs and their education. Whilst we aren't the Ahmed family as seen on 'Child Genius' on Channel 4 last week, their sons do in fact, coincidentally attend the same schools as my 2 sons! But the thing is, our non-attendance wouldn't be interpreted by the boys in any way, shape or form as non-interest: in reality, for DS1, it might be seen as a blessed relief from the endless high expectations we have for them!

Not expecting my parents' evening for DS1 next week to be a "praise-fest" tbh! I'm still gonna go tho

What I mean is, OP, while you may be lucky enough to have no surprises or concerns (and I hope so), some of us have concerns or may receive surprises - and maybe that's why the event is worth having.

Well, if you want your ds to think that you can't be bothered to go to his new school, meet his teachers, see his classroom, see the place where he spends his day, meet some of his frienda and their parents, then of course there's no need to go.......

His teachers will have: records of what he has achieved so far, notes of any areas of concern, tips for how he can get the most out of his senior school career (now he has settled in), and information for you on what is going to happen next (likely curriculum, sets etc.). They may or may not know your son, but will know the name and roughly how he's doing (they may surprise you, as name learning is very important).

This maybe a rare chance for you to meet the teachers, and is a valuable opportunity. When something goes wrong it is much easier to deal with people you have met. It is very different at seniors school to juniors.

I am surprised that you think that the teachers won't know who your DS is. We have our DS's Y7 parents' evening in 2 weeks and have just received the letter, asking us to put down the names of the teachers we would like to see.

In fact, part of the contract between the school, the pupil and the parents concerns the expected attendance by the parents at any parents' evening.

I would be very upset if the teachers didn't know who my son is and would want to know why.

I think you should go, to signify both to your son and the school that you are taking an interest in his education.

At all three of my children's secondary schools (one for son, two for daughter) it has always been possible (in theory) to see every single subject teacher she/he had that year plus the form tutor, the head of year/phase, the SENCo and the headteacher. Never had to make appointments either, although some individual teachers have done this informally, or sent messages that they would be leaving by a certain time. In all cases there was a very strong expectation from the school that we would go, latterly accompanied by offspring. At son's school there is always a talk from the Head and other senior/middle management as well, which can be interesting, although usually fairly predictable ('important year' - 'learning good work habits' - 'thorough preparation for exams' - all phrases that feature every time).

You might hear something you don't expect to hear. You probably won't, but you might. I expect they will know who your DS is, but they won't know him terribly well - how could they?

I think it's important mostly for your DS TBH. If he's had a good start, it will be nice for him to hear his teachers tell you that. For you and the teachers, honestly, probably less important.

Are they having another parents evening later in the year? This is a crazy time to have it if it is the only one. We have a tutor meeting in the first half term, and then the proper consultation evening at the end of the year, which makes much more sense IMO.

I don't like the model of tutor meetings tbh TheFallenMadonna. Tutors usually know very little about how the children are getting on academically, or what the particular issues/difficulties are in a subject, or what they need to do to improve. It's all second hand information too.

I would much rather speak directly to subject teachers. By now they will have done a variety of different assessments and should have a clear idea of students' abilities and also whether they have gone backwards at all over the long break from SATs to starting secondary.

Whilst there might be an absence of issues now, something may arise later in the year and if you know a bit about your ds's teachers now, it might make it easier for you to feel you can contact them.

Is it a real full on parents evening? Our year 7's have two during the year - one after 7 weeks and thats really for issues and problems and then the real one, with a lot more to say, in the third term.

I would say that parents evenings are very important unless they are just the settling in ones and there is no issues flagged up on the interim report.

I would expect teachers to know my DC. I think it is important to get to know the teachers as soon as possible. I also want the school to know that I am a supportive,concerned, parent.

The teachers who teach your DS maths and English will see him nearly every day,I should bloody hope they know who he is!
As others have said it is very different at secondary.
At my DSs'secondary the teachers tell some of teh kids they don't want to see their parents (where they teach multiple groups in a year and hav a limited number of slots) Otherwise they are expected to book all their teachers in.

I feel a little sad that your expectations for your boys are so low, and I hope that the teachers bring out some good surprises for you.

By the way, why do you want to see so few subjects?

I believe that an early Y7 parent's evening is more to open the communication between school and parents, rather than really let you know how the kids are. I would have thought it advantageous to get an understanding of the personalities of his teachers, so that you know how to deal with future issues.

As for meeting the tutor, do you not have separate tutor review days?

Oh, and by the way, I have always known the name and some details of my groups a couple of weeks in, by 8 weeks they should know them quite well in most subjects, even those they only have once per week.

I thought the same way about Yr 7 parents' evening.

I was surprised to be practically grasped by the collar by ds's Science teacher and told he wasn't doing well enough - after 8 weeks!

All the teachers knew who ds was (probably because he was sitting next to me! - that's a new thing) and exactly what he was expected to achieve. They seemed much more clued up than in my day when I know loads of the teachers couldn't care less if you were there or not and some even prided themselves on never learning a name.

pssst - ampere - my ds sits next to that child genius boy in maths - good move, I say. Much copying of homework potential!

I take it all on board but will only address 2 posters, bearing in mind that I have already stated that of course I will be attending the evening:

Q: 'Well, if you want your ds to think that you can't be bothered to go to his new school, meet his teachers, see his classroom, see the place where he spends his day, meet some of his frienda and their parents, then of course there's no need to go.......'

I have visited and toured the school 6 times already. I spent £60,000 more on a house to ensure he got into this chosen school. I could guide you to Room T2 right now, if you want! Or H3. M4? Matron's office? Follow me. I know DSs' head teacher and Head of Year. I know his classroom (though it is an anonymous 'History' classroom). His friends are the ones he met in primary, bar one or two. It is for him to extend these new friendships, not for me, running hither and thither on Parents Evening to further.

I would like to meet his tutor but that's not on the cards as he doesn't teach DS in any subject. I'd like to see more subject teachers BUT The DCs have to arrange the meetings themselves and it all gets too complex for a barely 11 year old to achieve.

Q: 'I feel a little sad that your expectations for your boys are so low, and I hope that the teachers bring out some good surprises for you.'

Please see my post of Sat at 20:57 (...'But the thing is, our non-attendance wouldn't be interpreted by the boys in any way, shape or form as non-interest: in reality, for DS1, it might be seen as a blessed relief from the endless high expectations we have for them!). There will be no 'good' surprises, there will be the confirmation that DS is a good, quiet, conscientious student who has done well enough in English, for example to be invited to attend a workshop with a 'name' author. I am not hugely surprised at this because I know DS has, with some pressure from home, worked hard at his English as, though he's able, he's not motivated in this subject.

I guess the reality is, with all respect to the posters who feel the same way, I believe I know the chosen school very well, considering the 2 years of blood, sweat and tears that went into a)selecting it and b) ensuring the DSs attendance! I wonder how many posters only ever got to attend one 'select your DCs's secondary' puff-piece evening are are therefore now using Parents Evening to try and find out more about the school their DC attends thus assume I'm 'missing' an opportunity?. I know DS, what he is capable of, how he is achieving, how he is managing being at secondary and so on, but above all, how straight forward his transition into secondary has been. He was well prepared both by his primary and by us and he's happy and as confident as a slightly anxious child can be expected to be at his school.

I would certainly see the point of end-of-year parents evenings and would attempt to see all the subject teachers (IF DS doesn't double book us!), but I remain to be convinced that we, or DS, or the school will get much bang for bucks out of tomorrow evening's Parents Eve.

But tell you what, I will report back honestly afterwards, OK?!

Hi gramercy- I hope you or f.c might be along! Good move for your DS to - ahem- 'check' his work against an Ahmed boy!!