Lateness

[Greenpatch]

Any bright ideas to get a sixth former to school on time (and other places as well)?

We leave the house before she does, so it is in her hands but she wasn't too good before that!

Does she get EMA? I could be wrong, but doesn't punctuality affect it? If she is anything like DS who has spent it before it even hits his account, the risk of putting it in jeopardy might have an effect?

Tell her that if she doesn't get herself to school on time she will have to leave the house at the same time as you.

Alternatively, you could adjust your working hours and make her breakfast and help her organise herself so she does leave on time.

The smell of bacon grilling got my DS into the shower and down stairs every time...

She does get EMA but has only just started to get it, we make her use it to pay for things other than socialising so while I may mention it I think she sees it as benefitting us rather than her.

Newish job (can't negotiate hours) I have spent years trying to organise her in the morning. If she left when I did I would be late because she would hold me up. She gets up with me but spends ages in the bathroom doing seemingly nothing (doesn't wear makeup has her shower in the evening, does nothing with her hair).

When you say she uses the EMA for things other than socialising so she's that a benefitting you ... what do you mean?

EMA is for school equipment and travel ... she should be using it to but things she need for school ... I presume that is what you meant BUT ... if she sees that a being no benefit to her then I would say the issue is more than lateness ... it would seem that she does not appreciate the value of the education she is receiving

What sanctions does the school impose? My DCs' school has just got a new head and he is being very strict about timekeeping. It's amazing what a difference it has made to my DS. He is now paranoid about not being late.

Other than that, I'm sorry, I have no idea how you can help. I am glad that our school is doing this as it was a constant source of argument in our house before. I think you just have to let your DD be late and take the consequences.

Just make her get up earlier so she is ready. EMA shouldn't make any difference to whether she gets up - anyway it's stopping next year so she'll have to get up without it if she values her education.

You could ask her if she would like help in getting more organised in the mornings, but IMO if she is in sixth form then really it is up to her by this stage. If she isn't there on time then she will have to deal with the conswequences.

Thanks for your replies.

The EMA thing is complicated to explain, a side issue I think, but no she isn't spending it on school travel, stationery yes but she's OK with that.

School is taking action, but so far it has had little effect.

She is getting up in plenty of time so that isn't a problem.

Yes it is up to her now, just hoped someone may have had a magical suggestion!

I do sometimes wonder if everybody ignored it, she would improve?

Could you re-arrange the finances so that any money she receives for socialising / clothing etc (whatever interests her) is tied to attendance / punctuality, either directly through the EMA or through her allowance / pocket money?

Have you considered there may be underlying issues - maybe she's unhappy at school/college and is having problems either socially or academically? It's hard to motivate yourself to go somewhere if you're miserable there...

If she hopes to go onto higher education, lateness and attendance are part of the reference that schools give to the universities afaik. Also some schools will kick you out at the end of year 12 if lateness and absence persist. No magic fix but obviously she should start taking responsibility for getting herself to places on time or taking the consequences. Hope she improves.

EMA is being abolished anyway

I would just reiterate to her that if she is persistently late she'll get kicked out and she'll
a) have to get a job
and
b) move out because you won't be financially supporting her any longer if she has been kicked out of ft education

Absolutely no attandance issues and she isn't terribly late, just late a lot.

I wouldn't say she would have to move out because it would not be true, even if she did get kicked out of school.

She has never particularly like the school but was given the option to go somewhere else for 6th form and chose to stay, she is bright although not very conscientious and has a lot of friends.

I do wonder if she has something like irritable bowel though, could explain the long spells in the bathroom...

IBS is certainly aggravated by stress.

Then again don't all teenage girls spend ages in the bathroom....

You're right they are twins. My problem is I'm a teacher, so spend longer hours in school than her! Her school are punishing appropriately with my full approval. She should do very well at GCSE but I really would blame myself if she flunked at this point due to me leaving her to her own devices. Her dad and I underachieved and spent most of our 20s catching up. We can see her doing the same.

I doubt that it would improve if everybody ignored it. That is what dn's family and school did and it had no effect: she ended up without qualifications in several subjects. Her long spells in the bathroom were definitely about tittivating rather than bowels: even if school was due to start in 5 minutes, she still refused to cut down on her beauty regime in any way. She matured a lot in her late teens/early twenties.

Sorry not to be more helpful. In the end I suppose it has to come from them really.