Best friend jealousy, how to help my dd who is the jealous one!

[FimboBBINGFORAPPLES]

Bit of background, dd had a tough time at junior school, only 9 girls in a class of 21. She was in a triangle and you know girls and threesomes, she was the one always left out, the other two were always off doing things, giggling in corners and going round arm and arm whilst dd was on the sideline. She is quite timid and shy which doesn't help.

Anyway she moved up to High School last year and found new friends, about 12 in total including a new best friend. Lets call my dd (A), her best friend (B), then we have girl (C) and girl (D).

My dd was at first school with both C & D. But more friendly with C than ever D. All last year all 3 of them went to Youth Club together and never a problem. C & D are best friends and fall out. My dd and C remained friendly and then C drops the bombshell to my dd that D found her boring. Dd is devastated by this.

C & D are in a different friendship group to dd but D is invited into dd's friendship group by B. C & D then make up but D decides to remain with my dd's friends and in particular with B who is my dd's best friend. Now B & D are continually going off doing things together and not really having that much to do with my dd. DD has other friends, she had 2 round last night but B was round at D's and they have plastered pics they have taken all over facebook and have photoshopped them or whatever you do, using a picture my dd had used of her and B, by cutting my dd off and adding D. Again dd is devastated.

My dd has spoken to B previously about how she is feeling etc and B has told her she is her bf no matter what, but to my dd it doesn't feel like it as she always go off to sit with D in class etc.

I have spoken to dd and told her she cannot dictate who B can and cannot play with and she needs to more or less suck it up. My dd is quiet as I said before and D is more loud and commands an audience type child.

I hate seeing my dd so upset but can see both points of view and don't really know where to go from here, especially as dd has other friends but from where I am standing she is looking abit of a bunny boiler over B.

Arrgh help and sorry it is so long.

I sympathise completely with you. My DD has had various problems with friendship, partly of her own making and partly not. I have two DSs, too and have had no problems with them. Girls can be such hard work and I agree about facebook.

My DD is now in Y9 and it has taken until now for her to seem happy and to have found a good friend, even though primary school was a feeder for secondary.

I'm sorry not to be able to give you any advice. My DD had to realise that she cannot have friendships just on her terms. You can't make someone be friendly with you. I think telling someone else how you feel does you no good. (mean A telling D/B). My DSs do not seem to go through this s**t and just get on with things. Don't know why girls can't. Sorry not to be more helpful.

Thanks ILJJ, it is good to hear that we are not alone! I too have a ds albeit he is younger, he is happy to play with anyone. Facebook does seem to cause an awful lot of angst albeit young or old!