How Important Are Friends?

[HappyHome]

Hi,
We are just in the process of applying for school places for our DS. Our catchment area school isn't one of our choices however there are three 'good' schools nearby that we like.

DS,DH and myself all agree on the first choice but based on last years admissions it is borderline as to if we will be offered a place.

So, (and here is the dilema) for our second choice do we put the school that DH and I like - it specialises in DS's favourite subjects, nearer to home, I went there and so know its good (and bad) points. Or do we go with the one DS wants - the one where his friends are going?

Any thoughts on this would be appreciated!

Go for the better school. I went to a very close knot primary and went to secondary with everyone in my year six class (albeit spread amongst different forms) and tbh I only stayed friends with one person from primary school.

No guarantees he'll be in the same class as his friends

If it's the deciding factor between two that are fairly similar in other ways, then friends can count for something. But I don't think it should ever be at the top of the list of important things in making the decision - they will be split into different classes anyway, and will make new friends with people they haven't met before.

Both DD's moved to secondary with only one person from their primary school and they both made new friends easily. DS moved to the same secondary but from a feeder primary with at least 30 other kids and it was a pain. DS wanted to make new friends and keep his old ones but that seemed really difficult to do as a lot of the group from primary school just wanted to stick together. I'd go for the better school.

Thanks for all your input.
The problem is I'm not sure which is the better school!

On paper the one DS likes is the better school as the GCSE results are better but his only reason for wanting to go is that his friends are going, however I think the other one is more suited to his needs. Both schools are rated as good by Ofsted and the one I like has had the go ahead for the main building to be rebuilt in March so will have great facilities.

It really is a tough choice!

I would check out with other childrens parents where they are applying and in what order. This is because the actual children at this age may not tell the truth about where they are going or may simply misunderstand. for example a parent might say to them- we want you to go to x school but you may actually go to y. child then tells friends probably going to y.

i do have experience of this at middle school application when dds best friend put huge pressure on my dd ( and her parents on us) to send dd to a certain school that they wanted. i rightly refused and ironically their dd didnt get in on distance and they both went to the same school in the end. Even more ironically, our dd probably would have been offered a place. Even more ironically, they fell out within weeks of starting and have barely spoken for 4 years!

I think that you should go for the better school on the basis that you cannot know for sure where the friends will go- or indeed whether they will still be friends by year 7.