Advice about talking in class in private schools

[Tabliope]

My DS is trying out a private school to see if he likes it. He does but says there is much more talking in class going on than in state school. Not even whispering but talking in normal voices. I've heard similar from a friend's DD about another private school. Is this normal? He says the teachers don't seem to be able to control it.

mamatomany, that helps yes. DS likes a laugh and a joke in class as much as the rest but on the whole wants it to be quiet when the teacher is trying to teach so based on that I'm not sure if it would be the school for him if this is normal there (not talking about group discussions here regarding the lesson which is obviously different). He said it was what stuck out for him versus the state school he was in where there was whispering and a lot of mucking around to start with but once the class settled it was quieter - and if they had talked so loudly after being told off they'd probably get some kind of a warning. Difficult to know what it would be like when you're there for such a short period.

pagwatch, not everyone sending their kid to private school is from the 'chattering classes'. In my case it's after bullying for three years in state so we thought we'd look into something different.

10 children in a class can be pretty disruptive! It depends on the 10 DCs. Ask more questions.I have had 6 in a class and they have been far worse than a class of 30!

How old is he if you don't mind my asking ?
I moved all three of my DC's aged 5, 7 and 9 to private school.
The 9 year old loved it from day one, the 7 year old liked the dinners so that was good enough for her, the one who had most trouble settling was the one who'd had least opportunity to be used to the other routine.
But the difference in their enthusiasm and understanding is amazing, they have this thirst to go beyond the minimum required which was never there before and I believe it's because less kids = more time to stray off the topic and follow somebody's interest, to add meat to the bones of a topic. Maybe not your turn to be interested every time but each child does get a turn if they are that way inclined.
I can only speak from our experience and according to the good school guide ours is one of the better schools (thank god because it was a huge leap of faith) but we have found it to be totally different and worth every penny.

He's Yr8. It'll take a while for him to get used to the difference I know after going to a school 10 times the size. I think he could thrive there if he decides it's for him. It's a big step and I just want to make sure it's the right one as the last one I chose was a nightmare, so I have a lot of guilt about that for what he went through. Glad your 3 are enjoying it. Would have been happy to stay in the state system if it wasn't for the bullying he experienced. Very little choice where I am though for either state or private.

Ds is in pre-prep and definitely no chattering allowed. I can't imagine it is any different in the senior part of the school.

There are good and bad - and bullying - in both sectors. My friend's child is currently being subjected to systematic racist bullying ins a very well regarded private school and they school is doing very little about it. Another friend his currently home educating her school refusing child, who was bullied relentlessly for 2 years in a state school.

Never think the school can do the job for you - you can't take youe eyes off the ball for a second!

Thanks both. Just wondered what was normal. Currently home educating DS myself too but he has asked to go back to school so if that's what he wants we'll give it another go. I am a bit paranoid about everything though and am probably over analysing after what happened in the last school. Worrying too much about everything maybe.

Did you take him around various schools to have a look on a normal working day or have you just settled for one? They are all so different and there are good and bad and the whole range inbetween in state and private.

We've just started the process. This was the first one. We'll be looking at others.

Well done. He sounds a sensible DS who knows what he wants and needs. The worrying thing in your posts is that he thinks that the teachers are unable to control it. There is a place for talking but it is important that they stop when asked. I don't know if the teachers are literally saying 'shut up' -perhaps it was just an expression you used -but if they did, there seems to be a lack of respect on both sides.
The main thing is for him to feel happy and I would say -if in doubt-don't.

To answer you op, no it isn't normal in private school for talking to be allowed in class unless its directed discussion and therefore part of the lesson. My view is that if you are unhappy about an aspect of a private school at first viewing/taster day, do not buy. You are paying, take your money elsewhere.

How old are they?

the thing about being private is that you can - and should - ask the teacher this question direct! you're their customer, so they need to respond to your query.

What age? Also is the school selective? i.e is there an enterance exam that you have to pass to get in? . In my local town there are three private schools. One has a very hard entrance exam, they get excellent results every year and talking after being told to stop would absolutly not be the norm.
There is another which has an entrance exam but not as hard as the first school. Often pupils will sit entrance exams for both schools and many who fail the first schools exam will get into the second. Their results are good but no better than the best state school. The third private school has no entrance exam and takes pupils who often fail to get into the first two schools. There is no selection and the pupils there generally come from parents who think that if they pay for education then it must be better. From what I gather from people at this school, behaviour is no better than ( and in some cases worse than) the local state schools). There are always several state schools that outperform this school.
I guess the moral is there are good schools and there are bad whether state or private.
However, if the school you are looking at is not selective then there is really no difference at all than local state schools in terms of the beahviour of the kids, nor the quality of the teaching necessarily.

What options for state schools locally you say limited but how so? If ds has been bullied previously you will all be feeling rather war, but its important to take your time and make the right decision. What is your gut instinct walking around the school are students polite and respectful, open doors talk to adults and each other in ways you like, do you like what you hear, see and feel?
If not find somewhere that does feel right.
Have you considered boarding? opens up many more options not for everyone but my ds love it.