Empty nest DS has left for University

[sophiecattoo]

My DS moved out two weeks ago to go to Uni. He's an only child. He's having a great time, has great accommodation, is making new friends, loving his Uni course etc. so I have a lot to be thankful and relieved about (and I am!). But oh my goodness I am missing him so much! My DH seems to be coping just fine and I am outwardly holding it together but inside I am bereft! I miss my boy so much! We have always been very close and would always talk a lot about all sorts of things and I miss our conversations, I miss his company and just knowing how his day has been etc. We are exchanging texts etc but I am really trying hard not to be a 'bunny boiler' and be texting him all the time - I know I must let him breathe and enjoy his new freedom - but it's killing me!!! Will it get easier? I feel like I have lost my way - and I know it's pathetic! Anyone have any words of comfort or advice?:(

No advice - my youngest has only just started school. I know I have coped with him starting school by fixing lots of things to do that will be enjoyable. My mum always says that children come back. They leave for Uni, but come babies etc and the need for babysitters, he will be back .

I'm afraid that I have no words of comfort (beyond the obvious clichés) but have you tried skype instead of text?

I'm dreading it as well sophie when it happens, my DS is an only too. All you can do it keep busy. Maybe join some clubs or get a new job. Keep interested in things. He'll be home soon for the holidays.

It will get easier Sophiecattoo the first term is difficult because its a combination of missing them and worrying about them. I have three DCs but I still missed DD1 loads when she first went to university last year and we all had to get used to a new family dynamic. Once she had been home for the Christmas holidays it was a lot easier. I think you do need to think about doing something for yourself though. I was quite shocked by how much I missed DD1 (she was very difficult just before she went away!) and so it made me think that I needed to plan what I would do when the other two move out and so I started a Masters course in May which will hopefully lead to a career change.

Its when you get to this stage you wonder how it all went so quickly!

You will get used to it. But it does seem strange at first. DD2 is now in her 2nd year at uni. There is a tread on this subjectin further education. Go abd hace a look at that. You'll find lots mothers in the same situation as you and there is also a lot of advice on coping.

Sory typing is terrible. I meant go and have a look

Thanks everyone for your messages of support. I think I need to take your good advice and fill those gaps with activity - going to look at doing an evening class and joining the gym!

Sorry you are feeling down - I've got an only son too but must admit I can't wait ! How is your relationship with your DH - are you enjoying the opportunity to spend time alone together again?

This poem might help
It's called Walking Away, by C Day Lewis

It is eighteen years ago, almost to the day ?
A sunny day with leaves just turning,
The touch-lines new-ruled ? since I watched you play
Your first game of football, then, like a satellite
Wrenched from its orbit, go drifting away

Behind a scatter of boys. I can see
You walking away from me towards the school
With the pathos of a half-fledged thing set free
Into a wilderness, the gait of one
Who finds no path where the path should be.

That hesitant figure, eddying away
Like a winged seed loosened from its parent stem,
Has something I never quite grasp to convey
About nature?s give-and-take ? the small, the scorching
Ordeals which fire one?s irresolute clay.

I have had worse partings, but none that so
Gnaws at my mind still. Perhaps it is roughly
Saying what God alone could perfectly show ?
How selfhood begins with a walking away,
And love is proved in the letting go.

I hope this helps

x