US family in London, teenager needs school or friends

[austinmom]

Hello,

We're an American family and my husband's company hosted us here in London for the last 2 months as a sort of extended business trip. Now they are requesting that we stay through the end of November, and maybe longer.

Our original plan was to homeschool our 13-year-old boy while he misses a month of school and then return him to school when we got home (now). But staying another 2 months changes everything and we need to build his life here, even temporarily.

I've spent many hours digging around online and I'm bordering on panic at this point as I can't find any clear answers.

Basically, I'm fine continuing to homeschool him if that's best for such a temporary stay, but he desperately needs socialization.

We've been staying in Kensington, but are looking to move in the next couple of weeks, considering Notting Hill, Ladbroke Grove, Hyde Park Estates, the Holland Park area, Fulham, Putney, or somewhere comprable.

Thank goodness the company is paying so we have some power to decide. Any advice on what would be the best area to try and build some kind of life for him? I know this is an overwhelming question (as I am thoroughly overwhelmed myself!).

Or are there any small groups of students that gather together as support for homeschooling? This is probably better served by a homeschool forum, but I'm spreading the net wide hoping for any helpful advice or information.

As background, we also have a 2 and 4 year old who need settling all their own, but it's less critical than the delicate teen situation.

Thank you all! It already helps to know I have somewhere to reach out to even if no one is sure of the answers to my broad, disorganized questions!

Sincerely,
Amanda

And to clarify, he's a very sharp and thoughtful boy who's personal style leans toward the casual "skateboarder" look. This was entirely appropriate at our home in Austin, but seems a bit out of place here (or maybe it's just the part of town we're living in currently.

So that's another angle, would we feel more comfortable in the Ladbroke Grove area where there is actually a skateboard park, or should we consider somewhere like Islington that seems to be known for it's arts scene.

He also enjoys sports and needs an outlet for that. Also a voracious reader, maybe a book group or something?

I pity those of you reading this. What a mes we are right now!

;)

Would you consider putting him into school either state or independent for those 2 months? At his age you may be able to find him a place as he would probably be in Y9 and places can be easier to find.

I have a friend whose children went to primary school in London but are now living back in Paris. Most years he sends the older ones over for a couple of weeks schooling at secondary to keep their English up and never has trouble finding places.

Just one idea.

I think we'd definitely be open to the idea of schooling here. The trouble with independent schools I've found is (a) they charge for the full year, no matter the duration of his stay, and (b)the good ones seem to understandably hesitant to accept such a up-in-the-air situation (are we staying 2 months, or 4, or 6, or 2 years?).

I don't know how to find a state school without being sure where we'll settle. This is unnerving for me, but also puts us in a good position to choose the area we relocate to based on where the best school option would be.

Well to clarify I don't know how to find a state school period. But am pretty certain we couldn't until we had our new address.

Anyone know where they would send their kid to school in West or SW London if they could choose?

Thanks again!
Amanda

Hello -

What an exciting dilemma. How does your ds feel about all this? What are his interests?

I am no longer in London, but immediate thoughts are:

1. Does your dh's company have any employees (American or otherwise) who might help you? Any with similar aged dc that might serve as surrogate community? Get your dh's HR department to assist in this area.

1. The American School is located in NW8, around St. John's Wood. I know it is difficult to get in, with a waiting list (or, at least has been historically), but perhaps making contact with someone there might lead to some information that could be helpful. For instance - perhaps there is a sports league, boy scouts, etc that you could join. (American friends in Paris built a lovely group of US friends via a boy scout troop).

www.asl.org/

1. Final thought (for now): no idea, but wonder if making contact with the American Embassy might provide some useful information, or at least give you some direction? I know there are American expat groups too.

Here is one that might prove useful (I am a former member, though was never actively involved). They host alot of interesting events, and could be a good source of information. For instance - we always went to their Halloween party, which was alot of fun for dd, and I would highly recommend you go with your younger children (purchase tickets in advance, just to be safe):

www.kcwc.org.uk/?page_id=52

Good luck, and post again if you have other questions.

My husband works for iTunes and we've discussed this angle but it seems that the entire office is made of 20 and 30-somethings with hot careers and/but certainly no children/teenagers.

Yes, very exciting, looking forward to enjoying it more and worrying about how it all affects the kids less!

And Connor (8th grader by US school system) is understandably apprehensive about being "dumped" into a school/entire system he has no experience with, but he's cautiously willing to try.

Thanks for the links, good idea reaching out to private schools even if they are full, could probably help with general settling in of our kiddo.

I'd written a post which vanished when internet connection broke! Earlybird has however covered my points about reaching in to the US community via the school and the Embassy to find clubs and activities. I think there's also a US Women's Club somewhere.

Also, have you thought about the possibility of putting your son back into the UK year 8? This would mean you could also look at prep schools, which thin out a bit in years 7&8 as a lot of pupils move on to day schools at 11+. The CE syllabus should still provide enough challenge, and the gentler environment of a prep might ease his fears about being "dumped".

You might also find of worthwhile to get on to an educational consultant such as Gabbitas and Thring, who may have other suggestions or be able to reccommend specific schools.

Historically, one of the 'pillar' schools for somewhat transient families has been Hill House (traditional private school for dc of diplomats, embassy employees, etc). It might be worth a look - though your skateboarder son would certainly despise their infamous uniforms, which are widely agreed to be the ugliest/most distinctive in London.

www.hillhouseschool.co.uk/admissions/

Your ds is also right at the top end of the junior school, but perhaps a conversation with their admissions office might be useful in some way.

I understand about the differences in the UK/US school system, and that is one of the big reasons the American School is in such demand - it is geared toward children who have come from the US system, and who will (in all probability), return to it.

Earlyburd: I nearly mentioned Hill House too, but didn't because I couldn't imagine a 13 yr old in that uniform!

How about the International school of London in Gunnersbury (just West of Chiswick). They must be very used to transient visitors. I can't imagine the most selective academic schools would be happy with a boy coming for such a short time.

onimolap - well, obviously a person should never choose a school based on an appealing uniform, but that Hill House stuff really tests just how much you want your dc at the school!

I'm cracking up at the Hill House uniform references. I'm going to have to see them atrocities to fashion!

I'm looking into the International School of London. However it sounds like most independent schools, they charge for the entire school year regardless how long you plan on being there. Understandable but totally cost prohibitive.

And no, ones I've spoken to aren't interested in taking on such a short-timer.

And I really will check into Hill House as a reference if nothing else.

And if we were interested in state school, how would I go about finding who to talk to about registering him?

And I spoke to Gabbitas and am considering an appointment, but they stressed that it's a lengthy process, as well as they very much specialize in private school placements, not state schools.

Thanks again, keep 'em coming.

It us hard to get into a state school without an address, as waiting lists are often prioritiesd on basis of distance to the school door. The good schools in central London will be full (sorry), but you may strike it lucky.

I think you should start by getting on to your local authority to find out what schools exist in your area, and whether they handle admissions or if you need to contact each school individually. Every school must publish its entry criteria, so you should get some sort of feel for where you might get a place.

You could also try looking onthe Schoolnet website, to find out what there is in the areas you are interested in living.

For a state school you need to know where you are living. Then you can google the local borough and find out about their school admission process.

However I would really want to firm up how long you are going to be here. As schooling at 13 here starts to get quite serious, much more akin to High School. If you were here for 2 years that would be until he is 15, and 15 year olds are sitting parts of the GCSE exams.

Sorry, that should have read the Schoolsnet website.

PS: Hill House have rust coloured knickerbockers. And Prince Charles went there.

Have a couple of school suggestions which are more SW London (Roehampton/Richmond). One is independent www.ibstockplaceschool.co.uk/Index.html - I have friends with children there and it is a bit more 'laid-back' than other independents. Also my DD went to state school, Christ's School in Richmond when we lived in London a couple of years ago and we found it very good. Often a phone call to the school will quickly tell you if they have places in your son's year.

Regarding home education, if you post in the home education section, someone may well be able to put you in touch with other home educators in London. Alternatively you could contact Education Otherwise, HEAS or THEN UK. It might be worth checking if there are any HE Yahoo groups for the areas you are looking at.

We home educate but are in the North East of England.

You could try getting in touch with some of the tutorial colleges - there are plenty around Kensington. They mostly work with GCSE/A level but the approach is so individual that I think they could be flexible enough for your situation.

I've known a 14 year old who did his A levels there because he needed the accelerated learning and also a school refuser who could only cope with individual tuition.

Westminster Tutors and Collingham are the ones I know, there are plenty others listed on the Cife website.

I'm sorry I can't really help more with schools, except to stay that your son is at an akward age for temporary entrance into private schools as he is in the last year of prep, and all the boys would be focusing on their next level of schools at this point. Also the subjects taught would be different to that taught in America (for example, most boys would have taken several years of Latin at this point). I think that the best option would be the American School or another international school.

For socialisation, have you considered signing him up for sports classes, drama lessons, scouts? You could sign him up independently, or join a club which has many children's classes. Also, try joining the KCWC (Kensington and Chelsea women's club) which is a great place to meet other expat, predominantly American women.

In terms of area, I think that where you currently are or Notting Hill are better than Islington for a short stay here are you want to be very centrally located without the need for a car.

My son's private prep has just taken in an American child for the term in year 6. It's not in London but since year 6 is our final year it is smilar to year 8 in a prep that goes up to 13.
We lost a few children at the end of year 5 so had a few spaces and I imagine the thinking was that 1 term of fees is better than nothing as it's unlikely that a small school will have anyone join in the last year, they also appear to have relaxed the uniform rules for him so that his parents haven't had to make the full lay-out.

Maybe you need to find a small school that would be glad of the cash, for want of a more delicate way of putting it!

Portland Place might be worth a try. Private sixth form/tutorial college that grew downwards to accommodate children not prepared enough to enter the competitive frenzy that exists around most private secondaries.

Fairly cramped Central London premises rather than vast playing fields.

It gets a strong write up in the Good Schools Guide, backed up by the experience of a couple of families we knew who used it as a fall back when their state school educated children did not shine at 11+. One child then moved to his favoured school at 13+. A reputation for taking ex-pats for similar reasons.

What sports does your son play? If soccer then there are endless opportunities to meet peers. If you are homeschooling, seeking out the right sport or activity may help the social side. You can find just about everything in London.

Not much to add (not in London but do know the education system pretty well) but just thinking good luck to you and your family, and yes, an interesting dilemma.

Hope it all works out OK.

Just bumping ( Austin - how jealous am I ) and seconding advice to look on Home Ed section of this site .

My sons school also had someone for a term in year 6. State. If you have an address its worth phoning the LEA and saying you want a school place. Check out the schools though as they wont all be good. The home ed sites are definatly worth a look. Also go with any interests. sports clubs, my sons go to a music ensemble. scouts etc. Another option long shot is the Lycee in South Kensington.He might need to be fluent in French!

It sounds fun. Before children I had two three month stints in New York. A great chance to get to know somewhere. I also spent 6 months in Paris. I was very lucky.

London is a huge city so you should consider living in the centre. Oddly it can be quite quiet and private at weekends though obviously very urban. You might look at the South Bank. Short rentals should be available either at County Hall or the White House. And the benefit of the impromptu skate boarding park next to the Festival Hall.

I would try the American School in St. John's Wood - they're very used to transient students and it's worth a shot to see if they have an opening.

There are soccer leagues that just started up that are organized by ASL parents. They're starting basketball also in the fall if you're still around.
http:/www.londonsports.com

Good luck!