DS, Y7- pls suggest how to structure homework so it doesn't overwhelm us!

[ampere]

DS1 started secondary last week. It's a comp and quite high achieving, hence it is nose to the grindstone, Day One.

The homework to date has been covering exercise books, a poster to promote RE.. a poster to promote Lab Safety, plus some proper maths and proper English. We supposedly get at least 2 evenings in which to do any piece of homework- it is usually to be returned in the next period of that subject which'd be at least 2 days hence, sometimes a week.

The school say they give 2 days to allow DCs to do other things like Scouts, which is fine BUT so far, in less than a complete school week, he has had at least 2 half hour things to do every night! So even on Scout evening he had to do at least one homework task so as not to be overwhelmed!-which of course means THREE things the next night. Sigh.

Now, I know I can't change this but I want some advice please:

What do your DCs do when they get home? (3.15pm for both mine) Neither of my 2 are the type to break out and go mad with a football or go for a 20 minute bike ride, which is a pity- they want to slump in front of the TV with a drink and a snack, which I guess is OK, BUT...

What time would you start the homework thing? 4pm?

Do you time them per subject to avoid them struggling on for 'hours'?

Do you make them do it all as they bring it home even if it is 3 subjects on the assumption it should mean only one subject one other night (hope!) and even if some isn't due back for a week?

When do yours do weekend homework? Friday night? Saturday morning?.. of course bearing in mind that other stuff gets in the way and nothing can be carved in stone!

All advice listened to, but the old 'It'll fizzle out in a month/ don't worry about it' is most certainly not the case!

It's hard at first, but after a while you get into the swing of it.

My dd has a lot of out of school activities, so she has to be very organized. One thing that really helps is a sort of "rolling homework list" that she keeps pinned on the notice board in the kitchen. Every day she crosses off bits she's done and adds new ones, with a rough estimate of how long she thinks it'll take. I don't know why this is so helpful, but it is - and she's still doing it in Year 10.

Another thing that we used to do, but won't be able to any more is to have a pretty inflexible "all homework to be done by lunch time on Sunday" rule. This means you start the week clear of work, and there's no last minute Sunday evening panics that mean stress and a late night.

Doc - I used to say "school before sport" but both my DS's competed in their chosen sport at international junior level, and from what I can see it seems to be a sport that requires more intensive training than most.

I do think DS1's schoolwork suffered from too much training, but I might as well have talked to the wall, and at age 18 and 6ftplus I couldn't really stop him!

Basildon,

I assume the same holds for music at a high level, or dance. And we know kids who manage to excel at both sport and music. I honestly dont know how they do this!

We have been encouraged by knowing older kids who are well organised and doing well academically, though know others where sport clearly comes first. Organisation is obviously key, and the most impressive complete homework whilst waiting to compete.

Year 7 was a problem in that school sport also came into play and DD was in every team. She also needs to decide which of two significant out of school activities she wants to focus on. (Here I have given her a deadline of the end of Year 8 to sort out what she really wants to do.) I would be perfectly happy if she wanted to drop all this out of school activity, as there is plenty going on at school. However she wants to do it, and if so, she needs to do it properly. However she refuses to train on Sunday morning as she demands a lie in, and she needs the down time.

The first step is to talk to the Year tutor so they are aware. My daughter does some homework in the library at lunchtime, and the Year tutor has also been helpful in finding somewhere she can sit to complete homework at school after the end of the school day a couple of times a week before going straight on to training. It is a case of identifying and scheduling in sufficient time to get homework done.

By the time they get half way though Yr 7 they get much better at getting homework done; it is surprising how much can be done on the bus or tube. I doubt if my daughter ever spends much more than the recommended time on any one piece of work, and we tend to leave it to her, other than keep an eye on the sort of marks/reports she gets. At the moment in Yr 8 she is ahead of the game and other than homework set on Friday and due in midway through next week, it is all done.

She might do a bit better academically if she were able to pour over everything, but she is doing fine as it is, and if she can pick up good organisation skills at this point this is good. Some of her friends in Year 7 were spending two hours on each homework, which struck me as counter productive. If DD did not have the same time pressure I don't think things would be easier. Just more television and more arguments.

seeker, yes, you reminded me of something so important - estimating the time. That's on our flowchart too.

Being able to 'size' a task is such an important skill - I have (grown-up, graduate) trainees at work who don't seem to be able to do that & so get into pointless muddles with their time-management & priorities. Paying attention to that as a schoolchild couldn't be more useful.

his main sport is swimming - but he also runs, cycles and rides (horses), all those are on top of his 2-hour swimming sessions - plus he has to do CCF one day a week

it exhausts me just thinking about it

I think we need to have a 'chat' .... and see which activities he really wants to keep up and if we can sideline some others

I've told him he is extremely unlikely ever to make a living from swimming/sport in general and needs to get a decent education to give him more choices when he's older. Not to mention that he hasn't gone through puberty yet (13 and no growth spurt - apart from feet! - that I can discern ...) and all kinds of things (injury, girls! etc) could happen between now and competing as an adult. But at the moment he's obssessed and can't see the bigger picture ...

Three stacking trays on their desks: top tray for homework not yet started, middle tray for homework books in progress, bottom tray for completed homework.

DS used the system, mainly. It gave him an additional visual reminder.

DD uses the trays for hats, scarves, pencil cases, bangles, hair ties...
She is happy with her homework planner alone and doesn't need the visual reminder.

Don't make an automatic "school before sport" rule either. I have occasionally asked for dd to be excused homework if there is something important happening outside school.

Seeker, who / how did you ask for your DD to be excused? I love your "rolling homework list" idea - it's just what we need. And the idea of getting her to "size" the homework.

Desperately trying to get all the homework done today so we can start next week afresh - only 2 more pieces to do.....

I send a note to the teacher concerned explaining, and asking if she can hand whatever it is in on x day. Never been a problem - but she is a bit of a goody-goody, so her teachers know that neither she not I are taking the piss!

And it had a brilliant psychological effect on dd too. I would say "OK, do what you can and if you can't finish, I'll send a not to Miss Thing for you". This took the pressure off and usually she found she could finish, so I very rarely had to actually do it. I think this depends on the child, though, I suspect that it's not going to work with ds - he would think "Whooppeeee - no homework for me today!"

This is a great thread - really interesting to see how everyone copes with this issue. My DS is in Yr 8 at prep school and gets set 2 subjects a night and 3 at weekends. We get home about 4.40pm.

My golden rule is no telly before homework - I have found by bitter experience that if the bum hits the sofa the arguments about when it is time to get down to work are worse! There will be a break for food but otherwise that is an absolute rule.

I don't actually agree with time limits being set purely because my DS would twiddle his thumbs for 28 of the allotted 30 mins then do a bit and declare he has spent the 30 mins so can stop! So the mantra is you carry on and finish it with a reasonable long stop for the infrequent occaisions that he truly cannot do whatever is set.

He works in his room at a desk with no parental input - can't see the point of any deficiencies being masked by parental help. Weekend homework tends to be done on Sunday afternoons. I am lucky that he mostly just gets on with it these days (used to have major tantrums but hopefully those days are past!)

Ds gets parental input in that if it's not good enough, he redoes it or adds to it. He also gets parental input in that I have held off since school started last week to see if he would knuckle down, but he hasn't - so prep at home starts again tonight, and I will sit there with him and read whilst he does his homework.

His school which has a large churn at KS3 as it is International has let him coast for the past two years despite my various conversations with his HoY, and I told them it was a mistake to let him do so and he wouldn't pick up at Year 10. So far, I seem to be right. I foresee a fun time for the next two years.

If your DS1 gets home at 3.15, he clearly has plenty of time to do one hour's homework every night and one or two extra actitivies.

I really don't think he should be doing 1.5 hours of homework on one day ever, though.

I think that slumping in front of the TV before homework is a very bad idea as it means their brains switch gear - making it very hard to get back in gear for homework. Can't you all go out for a walk after school if they don't like sports?

"I really don't think he should be doing 1.5 hours of homework on one day ever, though"

Bonsoir, could you tell my DD's school that please?

bigTillyMint - how much homework does your DD get, and how old is she?

What I really meant in my post was that I think that homework should be spread as evenly as possible across the week. Though I think that 1.5 hours every night before they are 15 or so is way too much!

Well she has just started Y7 and last week she got about 20 pieces which took her about 16 hours?

I did complain politely and so far this week she has had about 4 pieces, taking about 2 1/2 hours so far. It is spread out evenly, and generally she has a week to do each piece.

I agree, 1.5 hours a night is too much. But I think part of the problem is that she is so damn conscientious, that she takes ages over everything

Oh gosh, what an awful way to start secondary school! Your poor DD!

Luckily she's loving the school and there has been less homework so far this week.

Hi There.Some interesting ways of doing homework on here[helpful]
DS1 started SCHOOL ON 6TH sEPT and homework is 3 subjects like the OP.He gets in at approx 4.30-4.45 and gets changed,has tea then homework...before 7.30, so he can have some fun tends to do the subjects as he is given them so it dosen't build up.I expect if there is a more thought provoking one he can take longer over it.Lastweek he did his homework on Sunday middayish.

Don't know what to think about the whole homework issue really. DS2 in Yr 5 has far more homework than DS1 who is in Yr 8. Apparently, the Head at the secondary school doesn't believe in homework so they seem to get very little. I'm not sure I approve but this year the school achieved 90% A-C grades in 5 subjects including English and Maths at GCSE and the A level results were very impressive too so I guess they must be doing something right.

Sorry read that it would overwhelm 'us'. I thought homework was for your DC. At secondary school surely it is up to the child to organise it. I think it would be better. When I was at school my parents never asked about homework and when I did not do it, I bore the consequences and learned from that. Surely we should not get involved unless they ask for help or am I just being mean.

fsmail, you are dead right, but unfrtunately DD is asking fir help / reassurance all the time as she is so worried about doing it right.

It is herself putting the pressure on, and I'm not sure how to deal with that - any ideas?

I think sometimes there is not enough clarity about how much in quantity is required. In primary school my DCs got one set each of English and Maths per week and they were expected to spend an hour on each.

In year 7 they are often given 2 or 3 subjects a night but much less is expected per subject. Often the teacher wants a few lines about a subject rather than an in depth essay. Unless the teacher is very specific (200 words/ 1/2 a page etc) the child is left unsure what is required and can easily do too much.
Most schools give each pupil a journal or diary and it should give guidance on how much time should be spent on homework in each year.

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread!
DD2 has just started secondary school and has three 30 minute homeworks per night. I have to really 'spoon-feed' her and sit beside her to coax her into working - so it's quite unbearable at the moment! Luckily DD1 just got on with it and I didn't even notice if she had homework at all!
I'm hoping at some point dd2 will get on with her work without me, but I'm not sure if it's really going to happen

DS1 started high school (with the best results in the area) a month ago and so far has had a tiny amount of homework.

His school handbook states that there are two types of homework, the type set by teachers and the regular reviewing of work done in class that all students should do every week... DS1 cannot get his head around doing homework on his own initiative, therefore, I have had to introduce a system where he earns time on his X-box live account by being tutored by me (apparently we are the only parents on the planet who ban the x-box during the week!).