Moving from England to Inverness with Year 12 & 11 this August 2025

[CrazyWisdom]

Hello lovely people all over the Great Scottish Lands

I got a job in Inverness, which will be starting this April. We have 3 kids currently 16,15 & 7 (Yr 11,10 & 3 in England respectively). The eldest is aiming for Medical School, next is between Medical & Engineering. Both are doing well in schools (Grammar Schools both)

We are getting insane about the best option for our kids and when the best time is to move them and get the family together. We are seeking your kind brainstorming and advice.

Options are: taking into consideration their age will fit with the Scottish system, as they are already one year older than their Scottish peers

1. Move them this July/August 2025: Eldest will have to start Highers, and next will go to S4.
2. Concerns:
3. Slightly a shock to DD in the most important year in her aspiration to compete for Medical school entry. Additionally, her peers would have already started their Highers after they finished S4, and it may be difficult for her to catch up and achieve the required A.s.
4. DS will have finished 1st year of GCSE (but didn't complete it), and he has to catch up with S4 subjects, especially if his peers in Scotland have started the subjects during S3.
5. Wait for a year, and move them in July/August 2026. Eldest has done the first year of A-level and got her Mock exam results, which theoretically can apply to Universities with these grades to get a conditional offer, awaiting final results for A-level. DS will complete his GCSE and start his Highers in Scotland.
6. Concerns:
7. DD either to go down a year to restart her Highers in Scotland or completes her A-level from home with online courses (with huge financial impact), which might not be the most helpful to achieve her aspiration to complete the high grades required.
8. DS will have missed the few weeks of Highers subjects that are being taught to his peers the last few weeks in S4 before they break for the school holidays.
9. Wait 2 years: The worst option for the family psychologically and financially. It would also affect their eligibility for SAAS fund application.

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We are struggling to decide, as each option has its drawbacks that we have to accept. We need some help with picking the option that would cause the least harm to the kids.

Thank you in advance and waiting eagerly for your kind opinions

I sympathise with someone who's moved to the UK and would assume that moving around within the UK would be more straightforward than this! In fact if the family were moving to Wales or Northern Ireland the school system is far more similar and wouldn't cause as much hassle. But education in Scotland and England developed entirely separately.

Thank you

To be honest I can manage as I had to do this many times in the past. I feel I am taking the least burden of this situation.

It is my wife who is extremely anxious now and not happy. She feels this is too much for her to take alone, even if I will be coming on the weekends. The kids are getting older and have become a huge burden on her to manage alone. I feel bad for her as I can see how it will be tough physically and psychologically for her. Not only dealing with the kids' daily arguments and frequent teenagers' rebellions but also running like a headless chicken the whole day here and there after their activities to drop this and pick up that.

I’m glad you’re all agreed. Hopefully your children will appreciate the difficulties and behave well for your wife.

Teenagers are hardwork but they are almost approaching being an adult so I think a hard talk about the implications for them in terms of stepping up is needed - helping your wife and taking on more responsibilities

I have discussed with the kids about this element of course, which they already know about from the school. We had to admit that this is an important factor, starting your life with a debt of around £50K with the accumulated interest throughout your life or starting debt-free, and starting building your life and saving towards getting your first home and starting your family.

It is probably the worst time to move your children. Well the older ones.

You have said you cannot afford private but could you afford boarding at a state grammar?

My wife is strongly against the boarding idea. So, I am afraid it is not an option in her books

OP I am really impressed that you have taken all the advice on board and your solution sounds like it will be hard, but will work for you all.

I would also like to encourage you a bit about teenagers.
I saw all of mine grow up enormously between age 16 and 18. They began to behave in a more adult way.
Add on learning to drive, getting a part time job and becoming more independant, this is the part of the teenage years when you suddenly start to see your hard work come to fruition.

You sat down as a familiy and made this decision, and perhaps over the next few months, you could encourage your older two to step up and help their mum in some ways to take the pressure off?

If they take on some of the responsibility, especially in the holidays when you will still not be there during the week. Giving responsibility can help them to mature in unexpected ways.

Good luck with the new job.

Two more points to bear in mind:

If your middle child is likely to opt for engineering, you may wish to consider studying at an English university anyway, as the course is a year shorter so earning from a (well paid) job a year earlier could mitigate some of the tuition fee costs.

The Scottish government is in such a financial mess, I wouldn't count on free tuition for ever.

There's a third contentious point too - education in Scotland has been failing for some time, so you may find they have a better education at an English grammar school. 🫣

So it's time to sit down with the teens - before you move - and get the issues sorted

If you wife is exhausted with running them around - I guess she is also working then - can they walk or bus themselves sometimes to places - they need to learn this anyway
should they prioritise what they want to do ,
give them roles around the house - they need to learn to manage a home so being responsible for some meals is essential, as is cleaning the bathroom on a rota

Would your new role be able to have you work at home a day a week? That way you could be around on a Monday morning which is often a pinch point in getting everyone out the door happily and you could be around after school on the Monday to run one of the DC to an activity before heading back to Inverness.

I am afraid this is not possible, especially with travelling time of at least 6hrs driving/train. You can imagine finishing a long day of work on Friday, travelling and reaching very late at night, then having to take off on Sunday early evening to get there. Add to this the frequently horrible weather in winter. The concern is that weekly travel could not be practical indeed, but of course will try my best to be there to support

Something else to investigate - depending on their birthdays, some children moving from the English to Scottish system end up starting Uni at age 17 - meaning they can't access the nightlife, Uni bar etc. My friend's son hit upon this issue and felt very isolated in his first term at Uni, unable to join his older house mates for night's out etc.

In other words it's a yes to my question. Thought so.

I would consider getting the sleeper on Sundy evening ( technically it is 00.20 on monday morning arrives inverness at 8.45) back around 3pm on friday also consider maybe taking every third friday off so you go back thrusday night, spend Friday with your wife then family days on saturday sunday. the good thing is that the drive is normally very straightforward it is a good clear road with generally no hold us the A9 can have night roadworks so worth checking

generally teenagers do get easier towards 16+ I think 12-15 is harder

Gosh do not drive!! Can you not fly up?

Not sure yet, but need to explore the options after I move there

Just Google. It's easy 😉

Logan air fly from Inverness to Manchester and other regional airports.

OP I can't advise on what's best for your family but please get in contact with the secondary school you want your kids to attend now and put in admission forms. Secondary schools are very oversubscribed and your children may not get a space in your catchment school if you don't. Do you know which secondary they are going to? Have you got a house? Rentals are a nightmare in Inverness just now due to huge housing shortages so please be aware of that to.

Prioritise kids stability
Dad goes and commutes back at weekends. Loads of people do it and that won't affect the family hugely psychologically.
Can't believe you're being so selfish as to consider disrupting their education because you don't want to be apart during the week.

Could you do a '10 day fortnight', it used to be a thing in mills many years ago, you work 10 days in a row and then have 4 days off.

He's only looking at £ signs.

Trying to dodge Uni fees.
Dodge the cost of running two houses / digs
Dodge the travel cost.
Quite selfish if you ask me.

I think you should read the thread.

After all the comments, Dad has taken on board that the older kids need to stay put for the next 3 years.
So he has heard the comments and reacted positively.

Give him credit for being willing to listen

I'd give up on this job for now and look for something different. It doesn't seem like it's going to work for your family to have you working away. And it doesn't seem like it's financially lucrative enough to be worth the sacrifice.