Raising kids in Scotland (specifically Edinburgh) - your experiences please?

[IAlwaysTellTheTruthEvenWhenILie]

Hi everyone,

I'm from Edinburgh, born and raised there. I'm 35 now and I left at 21 to go abroad with uni and I ended up staying. In the last 14 years, I've only lived in Scotland for one year. So I can imagine it'll be different to the Scotland I left.

Now I have two children (4 years and 17 months), I have a strong desire to move back "home". I miss my family, I miss friendly people on the street, I miss my "culture" and knowing how to fit in, making friends. That sense of "belonging" - sounds a bit corny I know but I can't really explain in another way. Christmas parties, guising, making a sarcastic light-hearted joke and people laugh instead of looking at me like I'm weird...

I'm in Germany. Healthcare is fantastic (my kids get an appt with the paediatrician the day I call, operations done quickly, you just go to specialists yourself), lower crime rate, very easy to live an outdoors lifestyle - we're constantly at new parks, woods, outdoor swimming pools etc. we have four seasons here in Bavaria - hot summers and snowy winters but I just feel I don't fit socially. Friends that I make are usually expats as Germans are so hard to connect to. Expats then usually leave. It can feel so lonely. I have great friends but they're not here. I have no one to call on. Dh's family is 5 hours away and only his mum is involved with the kids regularly. In Scotland, we have 4 older family members who love the kids and would take them any time, plus my 3 siblings (2 of which show lots of interest in their nephews).

I'm sitting here again for the 3rd time in a year debating moving back.

Could I please ask what it's like raising your kids in Scotland (or Edinburgh specifically)? How's healthcare? How's school life? Bullying? Socially? Financially? Weather?

I'm worried I have my rose tinted glasses on so it would be helpful to hear personal experiences. I don't want to give up what is essentially a comfortable lifestyle here if it's not what I'm picturing anymore.

Thanks everyone

I do think issues are very different school to school in how bullying is dealt with. IME my DCs school seems to have space and resources to dealt with disruption and conflict in a way that the comments on here suggest isn’t universal.

This is quite general, but having recently lost both parents, I wish that we could have moved back to be with them as the DC were growing up. They visited a lot when the DC were young, but as my parents got older it was much harder to see them as they struggled to make the journey. Don’t know whether that’s relevant to you, but being close to family would trump all other factors for me.

@Coughsweet I suppose bullying could happen anywhere and I need to remember that. I've worked in a few German schools and it just seemed much less than I remember in my high school in Scotland. DH (German) was targeted a few times in high school so bullying is everywhere.

@theferry This is my driving factor. I worry about my mum. She never puts pressure on me. She's young still considering I'm 35 (She's mid 50s) but she's not in great health. I know I'll regret not spending more time with her and I want to be near her.

I'm in Dunfermline just across the water and a great many people who live here commute to Edinburgh for work.

House prices are much lower so you can get a really nice home for half the price you would pay in Edinburgh. Our schools are great (I am very happy with both our primary and secondary) and I have no problem getting same day appointments at either the GP or dentist. Great community with loads of clubs for children to join.

Maybe think about the towns around Edinburgh if its as grim as those above are suggesting. (I don't think it is though).

@DinnaeFashYersel thanks! I've been looking at linlithgow and south Queensferry so far as well. Very much leaning towards moving back but we've still got quite a bit to discuss

I think your heart has already made the decision for you! And to be honest that is half the battle.
I really do identify with that yearning to be "home" again. For my last year (maybe longer) of living in London I found my heart breaking every time my friends or family came to visit because I knew I wouldn't want them to leave. And then I would go back to Scotland for a weekend and end up changing my Sunday flight home for the (extortionate) Monday red eye just so that I could eke out a few extra hours in Scotland. I now realise I was emotionally vulnerable and exhausted from being away for so long and like you I lacked a sense of belonging. I needed to be back where my roots are to feel safe and whole again. Scotland was a bit more stable back when I made my move, but it still involved a huge pay cut and loss of stature (I used to be "somebody" in corporate finance but the opportunities here just aren't quite the same. I still make an ok living though, even thought most of it goes on tax!!)
I don't regret my decision as it was right for me all those years ago. And I loved being back home and it has served me well in many ways. Maybe I am suffering from "grass is greener" too, but in the opposite direction. It's something I'm aware of and I'll reassess my situation once dc are older (and once I see whether my parents are likely to need help with care from me.)
So long as you are aware of the current challenges facing Scotland (which may improve with political changes that have occurred recently- too early to say what will happen in 2026) and you're going into this with your eyes open, then it sounds like you're on track.
Let us know if we can help with advice in any way.
And dare I say, tentatively, Welcome Hame!

I'm happy living in Edinburgh with children, I think there is a lot of do and the local schools have been fine for us. NHS waiting lists not so much! I think the draw of friends and family becomes very strong once you have dc.
If your dh is willing, I would say go for it.

I live just on the outskirts of Edinburgh, in Midlothian. I love being here with my children, we moved back to Edinburgh from South England when my first child was 3. Loads for kids and families, too much sometimes so I find myself trying to do too much at weekends.

Houses where I am are much more affordable than Edinburgh. My kids primary school is great but I am very concerned that schools here don't seem as good as English schools. And our secondary schools are not very good.

My kids have both had long term health conditions that needed referral and also day to day appointments needed. I've never found it an issue to get an appointment on the day if necessary and waiting lists are long but urgent referrals always seen quickly.

I wouldn't move back as we're happy here and made the right decision, but the school quality is my only concern.

Apologies @CardinalCat @Iggii and @MrNarwhal I didn't see your replies until now.

@CardinalCat your post is exactly how I feel... And thank you for sharing. I was a grumpy snappy mess the morning my dad, stepmum and brother left a few weeks ago 🤦🏼‍♀️I did realise why after a few hours and apologised to everyone but it was the realisation that I've had this horrible feeling since last summer when either I'm in Scotland and leaving, or family are here and leave that's making me seriously debate going home now.

@Iggii it's definitely since having children that it's all changed. I was absolutely fine and happy living abroad until my son's came along 😅

@MrNarwhal thanks for the insight. With schooling, I do understand. I have the opposite worry as I'm in Bavaria and the school system here is full of pressure and is very unforgiving. I worry it'll be too much for the kids here (I've worked in schools here and see what it does to some kids). Seems like this would be a difficult one in terms of where the kids are better off for their education.

DH and I will be discussing tomorrow so hopefully we'll be closer to knowing what we're going to do. The more I think about it, the more I think it's the right thing to do. I'm just very worried about the financial hit. (Moving costs, new job, decrease in salary etc).

Hey! I have a friend who is considering making the move to Scotland and it made me think of this thread!

Did you come to a decision in the end OP?

One thing to consider is if you don’t move in the next few years your children will feel German, that will be their home and their culture. That will be where they base their life even if you later move yourself.

There's no place like home, as Dorothy says.