Primary school issue

[marie883]

My son is in P1. He is a bright, kind if a little shy boy. In October another boy spat in his face. Spoke to HT and had meeting with class teacher and PT. Asked for boys to be kept separate and mainly that has happened. Also my son will walk away if this boy approaches, this did mean my son was left out of play sometimes. No other issues until this week when same boy poured the juice from his ice pole over his head. He was in a den and the boy was above him. Spoke with class teacher who was lovely and reassured it’s not targeted behaviour. HT is another matter altogether. I used to work for her in a different school (I am also a teacher) and when I explained the situation when she approached me at a school event and asked to keep the boys separate next year where possible she said I need to “ manage my expectations”. I’m so disappointed that a) this has happened to my son and b) to be dismissed by the HT.
our catchment school is much “rougher” than I expected and I can see there are many needs within the class. We can’t afford private school but thinking of a placing request to a different school? Apart from these issues everything else has been generally fine. Looking for some advice I suppose on what to do? The school I teach in isn’t really an option as also has many issues.

Other than these two incidents, has there been anything else? Tell you DS he’s not to start anything but if the boy does something nasty to him then he is allowed to fight back/Stand up for himself?

I think some of it also depends on how old your child is. Moving schools can be more upsetting for some children once they are y3 and above I think.

Do you know the boys parents? Could you arrange a meeting to discuss what has gone on?

Thank you for your response. There has been only 2 incidents. I’ve noticed his Mum at pick up time and I have considered mentioning it, but she stands in a bigger group of parents and tbh they are quite intimidating. I also feel I would be likely to lose my temper as I can quite emotional about it all. It is something I have considered though. Generally he had made some nice friends and likes his teacher it is just this one boy he seems almost afraid of. As I said the teacher has agreed to keep them separate but it’s still a worry. I admit I am an anxious parent.

This is tricky, is it only two isolated incidents? It’s very unfortunate it’s happened and you’re doing the right thing by encouraging your son to move away and keep his distance. I wouldn’t encourage fighting back as your son would get into trouble too.

I think the ht has spoken to you in that way as you used to be colleagues and being a teacher, knows you will understand that it isn’t always possible to keep children separated. Is the school big to have more than one p2 class?

As a pp has mentioned, it depends on how your child is for moving school, some children flourish, he’s young and will make more friends. Some children find the move quite upsetting.

You could hold off until you find out his class for next year and then speak to the school again if they are still together but the issue is mainly the playground. If this other child is trying to target your child then it’s unlikely to happen in the classroom.

We’ve had zero understanding of action from our primary school when we complained about bullying our child was subjected to. The bully had a really tough life apparently so we had to suck it up. They showed no consideration of the fact my child was getting beaten up on a daily basis whatsoever. So yes, if this kid has a rough home life I expect the school will do nothing. That’s the way Scotland is run these days.

I think the ht has spoken to you in that way as you used to be colleagues

I agree with this.
I wouldn't worry about her too much as the main thing is the class teacher is on the case. She's the one on the ground, not the HT.
Keep encouraging your DS to play with other children, boys and girls. If there's anyone he's mentioning regularly then invite them round for a play date to encourage the friendship.
If you're worried about him then keep the lines of communication open with his teacher. It's not long now to summer holidays and that's a huge gap from school at that age and things could be very different next year.

So yes, if this kid has a rough home life I expect the school will do nothing. That’s the way Scotland is run these days.

Not true in my experience. My DN attends a school which has multiple deprivation markers but the HT and staff do not tolerate bullying no matter the child’s home life. It wouldn’t help the child if they were allowed to behave badly. A child with a problematic home life (which might include behaviour the child is repeating) should have everyone’s sympathy and understanding. However, the bullying should be addressed separately by the school/Social Work/other professionals.

Stand your ground and request the two boys are kept apart. Your son should feel safe at school and that the staff care about him. You should expect a lot from them.

Thank you for all the messages. The HT confirmed there will be 2 P2 classes next year so hopefully they’ll be separated. I agree, the class teacher on board is good. I have heard rumblings from other parents an out not being happy with the HT response to issues
across the school. Hopefully no more issues before summer. Unfortunately as a teacher I know sometimes these things can escalate if not dealt with properly. And I think the boy I’m question probably does have significant issues that the school need to manage.