Child Access Rules in Scotland

[speckymaw]

Hello! I am wondering if anyone can tell me in what circumstances a Dad would be denied any access to their child in Scotland?

My Mum has a new partner who has a child that he isn't allowed to see but still has parental rights for. He says that his child's mum had a lot of issues and managed to turn his child against him so when it came to the court case for custody his child said they didn't want to see him and the court took his childs views into account because of their age. He describes his past relationship as abusive (his ex wife towards him).

I just want to know if this is possible as something doesn't sit well with me and I have 2 young children myself so I feel I want to know whether there is anything in his past that I should be concerned about.

This has already caused difficulty in my relationship with my Mum as I don't want my children to be alone with him or stay overnight at their house.

Please give me some honest words of wisdome.

Search Clare's law ?

My friend’s ex would spin the same story. I was with my friend through the court case. It was decided that the child’s views would be taken in to account. The child remembered his mum running in to his room to cower from his dad. He remembered his dad’s violence and ignoring him. He remembers the day grandad and other family members turned up with suitcases, packed their stuff and they left. It was the first day he felt safe. Even the person from the court felt scared of dad.

a family member’s child took the huff and didn’t want to see their dad despite the court order and the judge listened to the child. 6 years later the child turned up on the door step apologising.

so it could be true that the judge in family court has listened to the child and their wants. But whether the mum has had a hand in it or if it’s something more sinister only he would know.

Thanks I have thought about going down this route. I just wonder if the person you are enquiring about would know.

Thank-you for the balanced view. My Mum seems to totally trust his account of the situation but I just feel a bit wary. I would rather be overprotective of my kids and risk upsetting my Mum and her partner.

A friend of a friend story. He had a baby as a result of a one night stand. He took responsibility and paid and had access to the child. Child would be handed over in dirty and damaged clothes and he would buy her more as he wanted to be able to take her out and about. It took him a while to click on to start returning her in the clothes she turned up in instead of the new ones which he never saw again. So they stopped handing her over. He was threatened by the woman's "rough" family and in the end it got too hard and whilst he still paid and sent gifts and letters, the child had been lied to and turned against him. When he took it further to try to get proper access sorted the child said she didn't want to see him.

I think there are genuine cases out there, whether there are as many like this as there are the other way round where contact has been removed for child safely etc, I really have no idea.

Do you have any contacts who know him outside of this current relationship with your mum?

It could be he isn't a good guy or alternatively he may well be the victim of parental alienation

Parental alienation is a disgusting act for any parent to undertake. I have not seen my children for 11 months, despite requesting 2 nights/week. My ex moved in with her latest infidelity, and is attempting to establish a new family unit that completely excludes me. Other than spending thousands on a court case, theres nothing I can do. The children are at the stage where they haven't seen me for so long, they no longer wish to come to my house. In some countries it is illegal and others it is viewed as a mental illness. Unfortunately the UK is behind the times and social services are simply not interested.

It maybe there has been some type of abusive behaviour by him which had resulted in a no access order but equally parental ailination is real and a child that has been alienated by the resident parent (or in some cases the resident parents sided family) will refuse to see the other parent. Very experienced specialist child psychologist can normally identify parental ailination but they are not instructed in most child custody court cases.

Sarah's law is a good starting point so maybe try do some digging. However if you don't feel comfortable with your kids staying over it's ok to say no regardless of the reasons. I don't let my kids have sleepovers with anyone but my mum and even that is very rare. I am simply not omofortable with it.

Apologies Clares law

@Wontgiveup I agree there are some cases of parental alienation, but there are also genuine cases where a dc decides they won't want contact with one parent, through no fault of the other parent.

My DDs dad is a decent enough dad, I've never once bad mouthed him in front of my Dd, always painted him in a positive light etc but im at the stage where my Dd really doesn't want to go to the extent it's damaging her mental health. She just says she's happier in my house, lots of her pals live near me, seeing her pets, can walk to school with her pals, has her own room....doesn't hate her dads partner but neither is she her biggest fan.

My dd begs me daily to let her stay with me every night and at this age (10yo) I am insisting she maintains contact as I genuinely believe it's the best thing. However, she will be soon be of an age where she has more of a say and will be making her own mind up. If she has less contact with her dad or decides she doesn't want to stay overnight, parental alienation wouldn't be a factor whatsoever.

OP, I think age plays quite a big factor here. If they are young he should be fighting through courts for contact and not stopping til he gets it. Not doing so would be a massive red flag to me. However at 12+ I think it is very dependent on the reason

I agree to an extent, but feel I need to add that court cases are expensive and very complicated. My ex has engaged in parental alienation as revenge for not getting the family home (she had multiple infidelities and started a new relationship and wanted ME to move out)
I haven’t had my children (7&11) for nearly a year now. I started a court case with a solicitor but the fees were too much for me to pay, if I wanted to remain solvent. I’m now going down the self representation route and finding it difficult as I’m not legally qualified.
But I’m going to fight. And I’ll keep fighting until I get them as they are already regarding her new partner as their father (which is exactly what my ex said she would do)