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Original poster

Jan/feb birthday starting P1

47 replies

Clairejay34 · 27/02/2022 17:14

Hello, I am just looking for some opinions and personal experiences of those that have children born in late January or February? Did you send them to school at 4.5 years or defer until they were 5.5 years?
Was it the right decision or do you have regrets?
Posting in scotsnet as I am aware the English school system works differently.
Thanks in advance :)

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 27/02/2022 17:29

Most people I know didn't defer but my kids are older so I don't know what is more usual these days. Have you asked the nursery their opinion?

Killermontstreet · 27/02/2022 17:48

Deferred our DC. DC are teens now so don't know how common it is now. We have zero regrets - and I haven't met anyone who did defer who regrets it.

WeAllHaveWings · 27/02/2022 17:57

Deferred Feb birthday ds(18) and absolutely no regrets. Extra maturity helps, especially for boys, and also when they hit exam years.

I know a mix of people that did and didn't defer. Never met anyone who regretted deferring, a couple regretted not deferring.

thehillswerebright · 27/02/2022 18:41

I think if fully depends on the child. My eldest is a Jan birthday and was more than ready for primary. Now she's about to go to high school and I would say is ready for it. In contrast my second is a summer baby and started school during covid, if I could have then I would have deferred her even although she was older. The majority of the Jan/feb birthdays at her nursery deferred because of covid.

Bratnews · 27/02/2022 18:45

My DC wasn’t deferred but took a year at the other end by going to college before uni as they didn’t want to go until 18. Has worked out well but would say it’s now more common to defer than not.

Helensburghmiddleagedmum · 27/02/2022 19:04

Deferred with youngest son, was the right thing for him, no regrets, he benefited from being the oldest in the class, more mature, he wasn't ready at 4 1/2

Groovee · 27/02/2022 20:31

My Dd is now 22. She was due late Feb but arrived in January. I deferred her. She's glad she was deferred. She found it easier leaving home at 18 instead of 17, quite liked being an older one and when she went to Uni she was able to go to freshers without being fined etc if caught underage drinking like her pal.

As a practitioner, an extra year can do wonders for children. Due to the fact our LA will fund Aug-Dec deferals too this year, we have a high number of parents considering it now.

Rainbowshit · 27/02/2022 22:21

Most people defer these days. I don't understand why you wouldn't. I have only ever heard of people regretting not deferring.

Fundays12 · 27/02/2022 22:39

I deferred my Feb born baby. I was so glad I did as a few months after he started P1 at 5.5 years a couple of mum's said they seriously regretted starting there daughters at 4 as they were just young. Emotionally it was very difficult plus physically exhausting. He is now in P5 and the older he gets the more I am glad I made that decision. I have never met anyone who regretted deferring there child but met quite a few who regretted it.

SandyIrvine · 27/02/2022 22:42

Deferred my February born DD (now 20).. No regrets. Sister teaches primary and said she had never come across anyone who regretted deferring but plenty who regretted not. Her nursery was super. She was never bored and learned to swim, ride without stabilisers etc in her extra year.

Hoardasurass · 27/02/2022 23:03

With my dd I sent her at 4 1/2 as she was more than ready could read and write and whilst she was the youngest in her year it never mattered as it was right for her and she wouldn't have benefited from an extra year in nursery.
With my ds we did defer as he wasn't ready and really did benefit from the extra year in nursery, he has asd and adhd aswell as other issues which weren't diagnosed until he was almost 6 which meant he only had about 4 months at school before the extra help he needed was put in place instead of 16 months.
Honestly I would say that it really depends on the child and what is best for them if they are a young 4 1/2 and not mature enough to handle a school environment than defer if they are emotionally ready then don't. You know you're dc best and what will work for them. I would say that if you're unsure if they will cope or not it's better to defer as you can't pull them out if it's not working for them

Yellowsubhubabubbub · 27/02/2022 23:09

What happens with free child care funding if you do?
My DC is end of March and already I’m worrying about it all ! Sad

surlycurly · 27/02/2022 23:11

My DS is a Jan birthday and we didn't defer him. After a frank discussion with the nursery they didn't feel that they could offer him enough stimulation if he stayed another year. He initially seemed very young compared to some of the other kids in his class, but I felt by p3 the difference was negligible. He was also flagged up as being Very able in P1 and did accelerated maths etc so academically it was the right decision. He's now 15 and doing equally well. I was also a late Jan birthday who went to school at 4 1/2. I was hyperlexic so another year at home would have been grim for my mum.

Whattochoosenow · 27/02/2022 23:11

Defer definitely. I did it with both of mine and have no regrets. It’s upper secondary the younger ones can find it hard going, not just from social stuff but also getting to grips with studying etc. Plus potentially they’ll be going off to university at 17.5.
If they’re bright there’s plenty of things you can do at home if school doesn’t quite stretch them in early primary.

Ireallymustgetup · 27/02/2022 23:11

Deferred DD born end January. Definitely the right thing for her, she would have coped academically but been a mess emotionally and socially. She started nursery august after she was 3 and did two full years (bar Covid lockdown) which was also great.

I am a February birthday and was one of the youngest in my year once my family moved to Scotland. Meant I sat highers at 16 and also caused issues with the college course I wanted to do which had an entry age of 16.5 for the first year and 18 for the second. Head of Department changed while I was doing the first year and wouldn’t bend the rules for me to continue. I had to go to night classes after I had got a job. Also being last to be able to drink legally, learn to drive, etc is really rubbish.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 27/02/2022 23:15

Deferred my end of Feb boy, no regrets at all.

Chatwin · 28/02/2022 00:02

@Yellowsubhubabubbub

What happens with free child care funding if you do? My DC is end of March and already I’m worrying about it all ! Sad
Free funding continues for Jan/Feb birthday deferred DC.

March born children automatically start school at 5.5 and will be the oldest in their year (other than deferred DC ofc)

Whattochoosenow · 28/02/2022 00:17

In my day ( children gown up now) the only way to get funding was for the nursery to recommend it. They wrote something about fine motor skills but there really wasn’t too much of a concern. Some parents opted to start their funding a year later rather than having a battle.
I’m so glad it’s given automatically now.

FannyFifer · 28/02/2022 00:27

We kept our DD till 5.5 for starting P1.

swearymad · 28/02/2022 00:34

We deferred December born DS - no regrets at all.

Woeismethischristmas · 28/02/2022 00:36

Most people defer now which makes it tricky not to as they’d be in class with last years deferrals and who are a year plus older. Our school has always been supportive of deferrals. No issue with getting an extra year nursery funding for my dc.

ChocolateDeficitDisorder · 28/02/2022 00:41

Both my DC are Jan birthdays and are now 25 and 22.

Was refused a deferral for DS and he did P1 but it didn't go well (later diagnosed with ASD). We moved regions and he did P1 again and this time it was much better and he was more ready.

Was going to defer DD but the nursery talked me out of it. She did brilliantly academically but she would have benefited from the extra year socially. She was always smaller and less confident than her older classmates and suffered from some low-grade bullying.

Also, she was ready for Uni at 17.5 but felt she was too young to fully take part and had to find something else to do for a year after leaving school.

So, yes, absolutely defer if you can - it will never hurt a child to be older and wiser but it can hurt if they're not.

Redglitter · 28/02/2022 00:48

My niece (Feb bday) started school at 4.5. It was definitely the right thing for her. She was more than ready. My brother & SIL never regretted it

heelforheelandtoefortoe · 28/02/2022 07:47

My DD is Feb born. Did not defer. She was more than ready for it and academically doing a lot better than her peers. Now she is 14, the only complaint is that some of her friends (who were deferred) now have part time jobs and she wants one herself. I actually know some parents who regret deferring as their kids then become bored or impatient to move on / leave.

ItsCanardBruv · 28/02/2022 08:24

I didn’t defer for my son’s February birthday. He was desperate to get to school and start doing “proper stuff”. He’s very academically able, but has found it annoying that he’s always the youngest - even in a composite class!

No regrets - my sanity could not have withstood him home another year.