Deferring primary 1

[LikeAnOldFriend]

Hello all, haven’t ever really found the Scotsnet corner before (away to enjoy reading blether chat now!) but just thought this might be a good place to ask about deferring primary 1 options? We are in one of the local authority areas that funding has just been extended to to allow all children under 5 in the August of their planned start to defer with an extra year of funded nursery, and are in the early stages of considering it for our daughter born in mid December. She was always 2 weeks short of the date funded deferral was available from and we always knew it was something we might have considered otherwise. She seems very ready in some ways, miles from it in others and we’re just at the very start of mulling it all
Over. Thought I would see if anyone else has had similar experience and any advice? Thanks so much.

I'd look at the end of education.

If your daughter does not defer, she may have to go to university when she is just 17 which can be problematic for socialising in over 18 venues.

Also, older children in their year tend to do better in exams.

It's a while since we did it for our DC, but we have no regrets. One thing I noticed is that I have never met anyone who regrets deferral, but I have met people who have regretted sending their young 4 year old to school.
If your LA is funding under 5s for nursery, I guess it will mean more deferred children so hopefully avoiding your dd being obviously the oldest in her year and standing out for this.

This is quite enlightened from the LA - when we deferred our DC, the LA were trying to convince parents not to defer.

No personal experience as mine are Spring/summer born.
But I would agree with Aurea about having an eye to the other end of schooling.

My DDs are at school in the private sector and (of the kids who started there in P1, mine didn't) virtually all from November onwards are deferred. They are more mature when sitting exams, are turned 18 when they leave home to go to university/gap year abroad/world of work etc. This is in line with many other countries.

I also know of a couple of February born children who were joining the school for S1 but were put into P7 to allow extra time to mature before secondary school.

It's a difficult decision but as PP mentioned you will rarely meet anyone who regretted deferring but plenty who wished they had!
Good luck

I agree with @aurea : think of it from the other end of the school career too. If they go to Uni, even after S6 they'd be under 18 for almost the entire 1st semester.

Ds is a September birthday and wasn't able to drink officially during Freshers Week (although he did go to plenty of "pres" where he could socialise ): his 18th was his 1st official day of lectures .

Like Gottasinggottadance I've never come across anyone who's regretted deferring but have come across parents who regretted not deferring.

We did it with DD. She is a February birthday and quite small. Academically she would have been fine but for confidence and socially we deferred. Also considered going to uni etc. Have also spoken to adults who went young and some said they struggled socially with being the youngest. Think it's getting more common to defer now.

We didn't do it for DS who was Feb because at the time he seemed ready

Looking back that was a mistake and we would defer if we had the choice again

My kids birthdays are summer so not relevant for them. But my birthday is November and I went to uni at 17y10m old and was fine. Yes in theory 2 months of not being able to drink in pubs but there were plenty of us in the same situation and I don't recall it being a problem.

Ours is a dec birthday and wasn’t deferred- his nursery advised he didn’t need it- overall seems ok (he’s about to turn 14) but even if he decides to go to uni we’ll very strongly advise him to take a year out. I’m not looking forward to the age 17/18 bit when all his friends will be driving/going out before him though.

I went to Uni from S5 when I was 17.5. It wasn't an issue back then but as it was a looooooong time ago , IDs weren't as sophisticated as they are today

Nowadays they want proper photo IDs like passports or provisional driving licences. Many venues won't even accept student cards because they are supposedly too easy to fake

It's very child-dependent I think.

We deferred our DS but he's February. It was a good decision for us and him although that's partly because we were in lockdown. He would have been ok going but the extra year allowed him to mature. His NCT group, all Feb birthdays went the year before him at 4 (now in P2) and they are all thriving at school. They could read and write a little bit before school, whereas my DS was not remotely interested and wouldn't even pick a pencil (totally different story now!)

I do think towards the end of nursery he was getting a bit fed and finding it slightly babyish. He's been challenged and stretched at school and has the maturity to rise the challenge.

Whatever you decide to do hopefully it will work out for you and your DD

Also my DH was a December birthday and went to uni after 5th year aged 16

@SomethingBeginningWithX

Also my DH was a December birthday and went to uni after 5th year aged 16

That used but be quite common but it just doesn't happen any more. There are also many more "mature students" in universities now so the gap would be even wider.

September is a long way away for a little one so it might be clearer by then if you can apply for both a P1 and nursery place and make a decision nearer the time.

To add balance, while deferral is absolutely right for some children I do know of parents who regretted it because they had deferred their child who then left school at 16 to work full time at their part time job but hadn't actually taken any exams yet so ended up with no qualifications at all whereas if they'd been in the correct age group they would have at least have had to stay on until after exams.
My best friend at school had also been deferred and hated it as she also developed quickly and was bullied because she was so much bigger and physically mature than everyone else. I'd hope with it becoming more common though that this would not happen any more.
I wouldn't say that not being able to legally drink for the first few months at uni is a big problem, there will be loads in the same position or even younger.

All my siblings were January or February birthdays and all did well at school and we were all pleased that we were earning quickly but as with every decision there are pros and cons and you know your little one best.

Good luck with your decision.

blogs.glowscotland.org.uk/glowblogs/udelcarlisle14/2019/10/03/how-deferral-enabled-me-to-thrive-not-cope/

I saw this blog on the give them time Twitter feed. Gives a students perspective of deferal.

I went to uni at 16 after 5th year. The only issue I found was trying to get a part time job as everywhere I found was over 18 only.

However having said that I do have an almost 3 year old with a birthday in late December and I'm wondering if we should defer (obviously don't need to make this decision yet but curious as to why others make the choice.)

OP - what reasons do you think are influencing your decision? For us I think it would be his speech.

My second born has a birthday in mid October and we are planning not to defer at the moment, but if he had been born any later we would definitely be considering it. Emotionally he's not as mature as his older brother was (June birthday) and his speech isn't as clear either. I'm hoping he'll get there by August, though, in time for P1. He's tall for his age and likely to remain that way so I thought if we deferred he'd be towering over his peers all the way through (bit shallow I know but these things matter to kids!). We are also not in an area where we would be guaranteed funding for an extra year at nursery. I'm hoping he's as square as his father and I, and drinking at uni will not be an issue.

If you are curious I have seen the stats on what percentage of kids born in each month are deferred by council. For an October birthday in our area only 5% are deferred. Can't remember where I found it, though.

I have a November first born and December second born- both boys.
Eldest was definitely ready to start school at 4, he is and always has been exceptionally bright and well adjusted. However, he did struggle a little socially in the last year of primary/1st year of high school. He has now caught up in his social development and is a happy almost 15 year old. It does bother me that he will only be 17 when he goes to uni, both because it seems too young and he will miss out on some of the social side. I am not a fan of gap years but may encourage him.

My youngest was definitely not ready for school and he is tiny! We requested a deferral and it was most definitely the right decision. He is middle of the road academically, fits in very well, socially and he will be 18 when he leaves school.
I think you are best to go with your instinct and girls do tend to be more mature. The nursery teacher told me that no one ever regrets a deferral. It’s perhaps worth considering what her friends are doing too- my youngest played with all the ante pre- schoolers when he was officially pre-school. Another reason to support his deferral.

Deferral was absolutely the right decision for my DS. Never heard any regrets about deferring, but my mum always regretted not deferring my sister.

I also went to Uni after S5 aged 16! Had a fake ID

I decided to defer my Feb born DD. There were no real reasons - she was tall, emotionally and intellectually 'ready' but I just thought there was no rush and an extra year of education can only really be a good thing. She's in upper primary now and I have no regrets.

I should also say that with my eldest, I felt quite uncertain about his readiness in the January before but by Easter I knew he was ready to go. A few months make a big difference when they are little!

You'll always hear lots of do it, few will admit making a bad decision.

We deferred on the advice of nursery.

My boy is P6, and much more engaged than he ever has been.
I very much wonder if things seamed too babyish for him lower down the school. That he just wasn't intrested. P1 he came home with a picture book it was meant for him "I've got a book for my baby brother"
Despite having loads of kids around us the kids he plays with are the year above.

Don't just defer because kid is young, once they've lost interest its very difficult to re-engage them.

I deferred February born DD against advice of nursery. No regrets. School/nursery ensured she was never bored (moved her to a different nursery for last year who were super).

Spring born DS2 went to uni aged 17 from S5. Fake ID meant he didn't miss out on much.

My ds has a similar birthday to your dd and we didn’t defer because we moved to England. It’s much more difficult to defer here and the system is poorer for it.
If we had stayed I would have been torn, in many ways he was ready, but I feel that if we have he would have been much happier. He loved the learning but we found his behaviour was a problem. He tried ever so hard but failed to sit well. One more year and he would have aced it on all levels.

I'd base my decision on their emotional maturity (for their age group) and the school readiness criteria you find online such as dressing themselves, toileting etc. it can help to defer but it very much depends, good to have the option.

Thank you all so much, this is so helpful, I didn’t expect so many responses and such a lot of advice! Much appreciated. There’s lots to think about. So far we had really only thought about right now so really good ideas to think to all the stages.

Our wee one is a hard one to figure out (aren’t they all!). She loves all the learning she’s come across so far at nursery etc and always gravitates towards drawing/practising writing/reading books so I know she’d love the “academic” side of school. Speech-wise she’s also always been very articulate, spoke very early and expresses herself well which is obviously great - she can always tell us how she feels about things in detail - but I think that sometimes makes her seem more grown-up than she really is or that she copes with things like nursery and socialising better than she does. Emotionally she does seem to find a lot of things quite overwhelming, she really struggles with new things and changes - in the last couple of years she’s struggled a lot with lockdowns, a new sibling (who’s now 19months and who she now struggles to be parted from!), adjusting to playgroup last year and starting nursery. She moved to school nursery in August from 2-3 mornings at playgroup last year which she had been coping ok with for the most part, and since she started seems to be struggling with the change and possibly also with it being slightly more structured. She could be there a full school week but is only going 3 or 4 mornings at the moment, and is enjoying it and mostly happy to go, although we are still seeing sleep and toilet regressions we’ve had ever since she started.

I’m just not sure if she’ll be ready for school come August, and I’m inclined to think in general the more time play-based the better. She’s also always been very short so I wouldn’t be too worried about her being bigger than the other kids if she did start a year later. Lots to weigh up!!