2year old nursery options Scotland.

[Crystalisedpeanuts]

I’m feeling like a crap mum already plotting shipping him off but Jesus wept he’s intense.

We have no private nursery’s in a reasonable distance, 20 miles no transport up stupid farm roads, and we don’t seem to be eligible for the standard 2 year funding.. over the income threshold. But he needs socialised or someone to see his behaviour isn’t right for his age and get support.

Is there any way round this?

I’m not kidding he just shrieks, runs, screams, bites, jumps and has a handful of words that mean faff all (frog, star, dad, ball, bubble) all day long regardless of what we do.. tiring him out is near impossible we spend most of the day outside. Hv hasn’t seen him in a year and calls everything a phase. His brother can’t nap for shrieks or lay on the floor or he’ll get trampled or whacked.

Considered ear plugs.

What about a local playgroup? Ours takes from age 2. It's 9:30 - 11:30 each morning and something like £8 a session with a snack, you can choose your days. Staffed by qualified playworkers.

It's not a council nursery or a private nursery it's a community playgroup.

Or see if you can get a couple of mornings a week with a childminder?

Churches sometimes have playgroups. I guess any kind of parent and toddler things are not happening yet but might be an option in the future? Just so he sees other children his age.

All the funded stuff usually starts at 3 and then there is a lot more choice, but I understand it's a long time to wait. Maybe you could see if your local primary has a preschool and ask there? They usually start after the 3rd birthday though but might have some info. Sorry that's all I can think of.

All of the groups are closed and not a clue if or when they’ll open back up, local soft plays gone bust and sold up. And there were none I’m able to leave him at to go for a shower or a hot meal without a finger in it.

There’s a ton of council nursery’s that take from age two but it’s all government funding, so he’d get at 3 but nothing until then. Which you’re right feels like an age away at the moment.

How do you find childminders that can cope with “spirited” children?

When did he turn 2? If he's nearer 2 than 3 then his behaviour sounds perfectly normal from what you've described tbh.

Not that I don't sympathise. I have 2 boys, a 4yo and a baby. When ds1 was around 2 the only way to cope sometimes was playgroups and soft plays which you can't do at the moment. He got really bored in the house and would get more hyper.

Funded places for two year olds are pretty limited. Aside from the income threshold, places are also available for children who are ‘looked after’ or under kinship/guardianship care. Some local authorities also provide discretionary places based on individual need but you would need to enquire directly.

Are there any childminders locally where you could pay to access a place?

Did you know that you can access a lot of services by self referral - for example SLT, OT, Physiotherapy, and they can direct you onto community paediatrics.

Now your HV should also know where you can get a list of playgroups/mum meet ups/options in your area so do call her and ask for that specifically and say you need support - having a younger one that can't nap and might get trampled on sounds very tough.

I know 2 is a hard age (been through it twice) but you are best placed to say if you think something isn't normal and need more support, and that's why you can self-refer to the above things.

Sometimes you do need to push quite hard to find out what support is available.

I'd have thought there could be more discretionary places given out due to the fact more children are struggling due to the lack of activities so definitely worth asking for support.

Looking at self referrals and child minders, we had a short burst of help last year with “ideas” to get him to talk more but that wasn’t salt and to be fair was basically speak to your child and other bits of common sense. Along with extinction sleep training which I just can’t do.. no one would sleep..

I’ll see if I can find out more on discretionary places, he’s obviously behind on other parts but not pointing or fearing spoons doesn’t give me a throbbing headache or physically harm anyone else. Was all picked up at his one year review and he’s not came on very much from then.. but the wait n see approach is pretty much the solution we’ve been given.

You don't have to accept the wait and see approach from HV - I referred my DC to SALT and came through when she was just 3 and they did a proper range of tests on her language ability and highlighted some issues. It was incredibly useful.

Have you called Sleep Scotland about the sleep? I recommend them, one DC a terrible sleeper and they had good suggestions for routine (and nothing that involved them crying, it was all about the pre-bedtime routine). I won't say it was a magic bullet but helped a significant amount.

I'd go back to your HV and say that you want to ask about discretionary nursery places and list your reasons to go through.

What are working parents in your area using for childcare? There must be something available, unless you are very rural? Ask on local Facebook groups, see if anyone can recommend a registered childminder. There will be a list on the care inspectorate website and you can search by postcode.

It sounds like fairly standard toddler behaviour. It's a tough age! I wouldn't want to do it again with my 2 boys, especially not through a pandemic and lockdown!

I have four boys and they were all wild aged 2. Lots of outdoors play was required. With my third born I tried to get him into nursery from aged 2 but he wasn't eligible. DH earns above the threshold. He honestly really needed it. On the plus side, he has gained an extra year in nursery due to delayed speech so it's been bitter sweet from this point of view.

I think the suggestion of meeting others at playgroup is the best idea, but I doubt they are open at the moment. Agree with suggestions of being pushy with HV, but also self refer to SALT if need be. I did all these things. DS3 still requiring input from SALT, also considering private therapy etc. Grab the bull by the horns!🙌

yes my DC ended up with an extra year in effect in nursery too. Kids are wild but your parenting instincts are worth backing. I was fobbed off with low end of normal type comments for ages before taking action.

I agree with you too riverrrunning. As a parent always best to trust your instincts.

@blowinahoolie that’s our problem too he’s above the cut off so we’re not entitled, checked nearest private nursery would be £36 a day and in the middle of a field so no direct bus or id be happy to send him. How close to dates for the term were your dc mine will both be one of the oldests in their years so if eldest gets deferred he’ll be in his brothers class.

Speaking to salt today, awaiting the hv’s reply. I’d be more inclined it was normal if he wasn’t at the same level of speech and behind his brother socially but I can’t help but feel he needs a push

Childminders are full and limiting numbers too with covid but I don’t think it’s the same as a nursery like learning/same age group activities.

Crystallisedpeanuts he got his hours three months after his 3rd birthday, but will start P1 two weeks before he turns 6. He needed extra time in nursery, but I feel like yourself he could have done with hours before the age of 3. I wasn't willing to pay before his free entitlement kicked in.

My eldest started school when he was 5y4m and second born 5y1m. Third and fourth born will both be starting school later than most (youngest has speech delay so it's a given he will be delayed start to P1 too).

I think childminders are now required to be more "educational" so they should be providing activities which support early learning. In some respects your little one might benefit from being part of a smaller group at a childminder as opposed to a nursery.
Agree also with self-referring to SALT - definitely do this. If you are in Highland there are good resources developed by NHS Highland - google bumps2bairns

Did you have the 2 year review with him yet? Happens after 2 years 3 months and you get 2 big questionnaires. Could be another way to raise concerns if he doesn't meet many of the milestones there.