Visiting family

[Bloodypunkrockers]

I need a bit of a sense check

We live in a tier 2 area and my elderly, widowed Dad is part of our household bubble. So if he gets symptoms we all need to self isolate. All well and good and understood by all

DSis and family are in south Lanarkshire. She's coming to visit for the weekend. With her kids, 2 of whom are at secondary school and one who works as a carer. Her argument is she's coming before they get locked down in a tier 4 and they'll take precautions

I'm really annoyed at her and her reasons. My poor Dad is just accepting it (he's not fully up on all the changes)

Am I being out of line in getting annoyed with her?

Would you visit in those circumstances.

Need

Are they actually going to stay overnight in his home? You are quite right to be annoyed with her, she’s being quite selfish.

Yes staying overnight

Apparently it's ok because they'll wear masks

No it's not ok, they are traveling outwith their tiered area. Also, tier 2 does not permit visiting houses that are not within the bubble.

Perhaps they should stay in a hotel if possible and meet in a public place re the guidelines?

I'm in SL and it's tier 3, only essential travel outwith the area advised even before we get to T4. Police are stopping cars again and checking reason for travel etc. She should not be going into T2 area and risking everyone there.

They aren't going to sleep in masks and they'll still be touching surfaces etc so the risk is quite high. Is your Dad happy to isolate for 2 weeks after?

Definitely not OK on 2 separate levels
1: No travel outside of a tier 3 area how many times does it has to be repeated
2: No household visits inside.....

Your sister is not only being incredibly selfish but incredibly stupid it's not one set of rules for the rest of us and she is magically exempt to visit your dad......
Tell her no and to follow the same bloody rules as the rest of us!

I think people are getting really fed up of not seeing their families, so it’s quite understandable.

I’d leave it up to them if it makes your old dad happy. You can choose to keep away from him for fourteen days if you’re worried about it.

I agree with everyone

I'm so angry now

Apparently I'm being difficult and they'll be careful

They'll just say that they're coming to check on someone vulnerable. So bring two teens and a 12 year old to sit in their phones and switch at grandpas and put us all at risk

She has a way of making me doubt myself but glad to know I'm not wrong

I foresee major sisterly falling out

@WouldBeGood

I think people are getting really fed up of not seeing their families, so it’s quite understandable.

I’d leave it up to them if it makes your old dad happy. You can choose to keep away from him for fourteen days if you’re worried about it.

He's not particularly happy.

And he's in my household bubble for a reason. I can't not see him for 14 days

@Bloodypunkrockers

I agree with everyone

I'm so angry now

Apparently I'm being difficult and they'll be careful

They'll just say that they're coming to check on someone vulnerable. So bring two teens and a 12 year old to sit in their phones and switch at grandpas and put us all at risk

She has a way of making me doubt myself but glad to know I'm not wrong

I foresee major sisterly falling out

Your not being difficult she knows it's wrong and she can take all the precautions in the world but if any of them have it then your dad is at risk.

Ask her if she is happy at potentially putting him at risk? If any of the kids or her are asystomatic then it's a serious risk and over 60s have been shown to be the level that death rate increases massively.

Yeah it's not the breaking of rules that the issue, the rules are there to keep people alive at the end of the day.
She's risking your dad's life- if they have it but don't know it yet, your dad will get it if they're inside together. It travels through the air- does she not know this? I doubt she's going to wear a mask 24/7. Really feel sorry for you. I've spent thousands on self catering as, to be blunt, I can't risk killing my parents. I think it's 1 in what 140 have it in Scotland but that'll be much higher for South Lanarkshire. Put your foot down.

I see where you’re coming from @Bloodypunkrockers but it’s not really up to you to put your foot down. They’re all adults. We can’t always make our family do whet we think is right.

ONS says 1/110 people in Scotland have it atm.

South Lancashire is 3x higher than the average area.

They have got five (am I right) people coming, including 3 teens, who are know to more likely not to show symptoms.

I’d be livid too! Why can’t only one person come? Or they stay in a B&B? They should only be meeting outside.

Could you suggest that your dad comes to stay with you for the weekend and they only meet him outside or in cafes? Even though they might infect his house, this would be much lower risk. And they wouldn’t need to fork out for accommodation. If they are coming anyway this may be a way to lower the risk for your dad and you too.

@peakotter

ONS says 1/110 people in Scotland have it atm.

South Lancashire is 3x higher than the average area.

They have got five (am I right) people coming, including 3 teens, who are know to more likely not to show symptoms.

I’d be livid too! Why can’t only one person come? Or they stay in a B&B? They should only be meeting outside.

Could you suggest that your dad comes to stay with you for the weekend and they only meet him outside or in cafes? Even though they might infect his house, this would be much lower risk. And they wouldn’t need to fork out for accommodation. If they are coming anyway this may be a way to lower the risk for your dad and you too.

Thanks, that's an option but I'm pissed off that's she travelling from a level 3 area

3 kids and her. She should have come on her own if she was insisting but she's dragged the 3 with her.

He's 86. And it is my business wouldbegood as we're one household so we would have to isolate if the worst happens

And my eldest niece is a bloody care assistant

I have 2 friends in SL - one of their dad's died last night (he had a cough/chest infection with underlying health conditions, was awaiting result of covid test). They have followed the rules & were very careful.

My other friends dad is in his 70's, recently had cancer & has covid. Many of the wider family have it too, many asymptotic.

It is rife in SL.

The masks, if they will actually wear them, don't stop the aerosol transmission. So if they spend a long time in the same unventilated room and have Covid your dad is likely to get it. It's a very careless thing to do when they are coming from a high risk area to visit someone elderly.

Can your sister not come alone for a shorter visit? Even that is risky indoors with windows closed. The kids would probably be quite happy at that age being left at home for a day.

@Bloodypunkrockers I'm assuming that she visited regardless yesterday.
If it was me I would be having very strong words about why she thinks it's OK to put your 86 year old father at risk for her own selfish reasons and also her daughters job as if her employer found out then she would most likely face disciplinary for not following the rules.
Would also make it clear if she tries to repeat it then you will call the police.

Yes she did come but only brought the youngest

She knows how I feel but thinks she can justify it.

I'm absolutely disgusted by her