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Original poster

Staying overnight with a partner.

15 replies

Belindabelle · 04/10/2020 14:18

I have had a look at the guidelines but I am unsure if the rules regarding this have changed.
Can DS who lives at home with us stay over with his girlfriend who lives with her parents? We are all in the Stirling area.

OP posts:

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/10/2020 14:28

Officially not as you are not to enter homes that aren't your own. Unless teh following applies:

There are exemptions for those who have formed extended households, to support informal childcare arrangements (such as grandparents coming round to care for grandchildren) and for couples who don't live together.

Would you describe your DS and his GF as a couple?

Unofficially, is this likely to be "risky" behaviour? Are they both out socialising with lots of people and going into others homes and have vulnerable people in their house? Do any of the intended participants have an issue with it i.e. you and whoever the GF lives with?

Original poster

Belindabelle · 04/10/2020 14:47

I would say they are a couple as they have been together a few years and are saving to get a mortgage.

DS has been working away but returns home soon. He normally stays over with her a few nights a week. Just wanted to make sure they wouldn't be breaking any rules. Her parents are fine with it.

They stuck to the rules and didn't see each other during lockdown. I think if we go into another lockdown he may move in with her family.

OP posts:

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/10/2020 14:56

I'd say they definitely fit the criteria then, especially as none of the other people involved in the households have any issue either.

LizzieMacQueen · 04/10/2020 15:10

Hm, I would say the opposite. If he's been working away does that not mean his household is somewhere else, ie not with mum & dad? So he shouldn't even be travelling home (same as for students) unless when he joins his family they all self isolate for 14 days.

Original poster

Belindabelle · 04/10/2020 15:24

He was seconded to an other office in the UK to complete a particular project. Stayed in a hotel.

DH works away Mon-Fri and returns home every weekend. That has always been allowed.

OP posts:

thedevilinablackdress · 04/10/2020 17:05

Guidelines are never going to be able to cover every nuanced situation of people's lives. I think our would be reasonable for your son and his GF to see each other but try to remain socially distanced from other household members.

WouldBeGood · 04/10/2020 17:18

Its fine and within the law.

Lidlfix · 04/10/2020 19:30

None cohabiting couples seem to be an exception but I have been unable to find a definition of what that is .

WouldBeGood · 04/10/2020 19:38

@Lidlfix

None cohabiting couples seem to be an exception but I have been unable to find a definition of what that is .

I’d take to be defined as the normal reasonable meaning that most people would recognise.

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/10/2020 20:17

There is probably a massive grey area but I think OPs DS would fit with them being a "couple" in that they've been together for a few years and they are planning a future together in practical terms. Or two single adult parents who've maintained their own households as they don't want to be a blended family yet.

I'd say two 16 year olds who've just decided to get together and might have FB announced that they are now together, probably not.

DS2 (19) been with his girlfriend since January and after restrictions lifted were staying together at either family home would be somewhere in the middle. They are however away at uni and effectively living as a couple although they have their own bedrooms in the same flat and there are no other occupants would move them up a "coupledom" rung for me.

Lidlfix · 04/10/2020 20:19

Which would be?

Not goading I genuinely don't know as there is no definition.

Some are interpreting a non cohabitating couple as a couple who don't live together but don't live with anyone else. Others as simply a couple who don't live together but might be parts of larger households as individuals. Which would mean going against guidelines.

But I hardly think DD2's BF popping by will result in a visit from the local constabulary. They are both students, working entirely online and very risk averse.

WouldBeGood · 04/10/2020 20:20

In England the definition is “an established couple” so no grey area really

Zeebeezee · 04/10/2020 20:21

Who in reality follows the garbled rules now. It is about common sense going forward IMO. Do your own risk assessment and go from there

Lidlfix · 04/10/2020 20:41

They are very much an established couple (Bf and GF for 2 years but together since school) as far as both families are concerned. We are in Scotland so adhering to Scottish guidelines . My profession, DH's and DD1's demand strict following of guidelines hence my desire for clarity.,

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/10/2020 20:50

My view is that if it's so wooly that an intelligent woman like yourself cannot determine a clear meaning, then the meaning an intelligent woman like yourself feels appropriate can't be anything else other than correct? I think that would have to stand up in court if it came to that.

I'd think from your description that they are a couple who don't live together, if that helps, I wouldn't consider myself thick... :o

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