Moving on up... Uni/CollegeS5/S6/S4/Work

[Groovee]

Hey everyone

It's that time of year... school returns within the next week or 2, others will be preparing to start college or uni. Some will be moving out. Some will start work... so here's the thread for those in that position.

For me Dd is going into second year at Dundee Uni. She did a fantastic first year. She's off to be a mentor to those starting uni this year. Ds has just gone into S6 and has the world to consider in the next year.

Me... I need to find a job after losing my job in June! Done in quite a callous way that I am taking my time to be kind!

Dd has barely stopped, she was out last Saturday seeing Russell Howard, house dinner out on Wednesday, clubbing on Friday, Comic Con yesterday, Town with me this morning to cheer on our friend doing The Great Scottish Run and James Acaster tonight. Next Saturday she's going to the open day at Edinburgh Napier.
She's joined her college Zoological society and has made loads of friends.
She's happier than I've seen her in years, let's just hope it all continues.
I met up with the local Autism group for coffee last week for the first time, (Dd has undiagnosed PDA), and they were lovely, it was so refreshing to have people who understand and have been through it, and what's more believed me.
I'm going to see about finally getting my name on Glasgow housing lists too, I really don't want, or need to live where I do anymore, I'm even madly considering looking at the regeneration in Sighthill

Great to hear about everyone else too, sorry rambled that off quickly as I need to leave early to find somwhere in Partick to park my car.

Glad to hear that you are feeling more positive Brillo - as well as the fact that your dd seems to be settling in well (maybe too well )

Ds is ucrrently down in Birminghams at a Carphone Warehouse Training Academy: they flew him down and are putting him up in a hotel for 4 nights All for 8 hours/week shifts! He seems to be enjoying himself - most are older than him ( over 21 ) but he says he's made a group of friends.

He'll be back up in Aberdeen in time for his tutorials on Friday: his new boss scheduled it so that he didn't miss anything essential.

It's just as well Dd is in Dundee. She's lost her passport 🤬🤬🤬

Feeling very fragile today and keep bursting into tears (not helped by imminent period).

It's only jus,t hit me that my lovely, gorgeous, kind, clever son is leaving tomorrow. At the same time I feel heart-burstingly happy for him and proud of his bright future.

We have a ten hour car ride ahead of us down to Oxford.

I have read all your comments and felt sympathy for how you feel, without appreciating this would be me in a few weeks. To make matters worse, I suspect he will never truly live at home again as he wants to work in London with his English law degree. In fact, he will find it difficult to find legal work in Scotland in any case.

Please tell, me when does it get better?

Aww, maybe I'm just hard hearted, but I've found it fine. I've missed him and it's been lovely seeing him this weekend (5 weeks since we dropped him off) but I've mostly been glad to see him so happy and growing up.

Seeing him in the flesh has reassured me that he is not just pretending and he is enjoying himself.

I'm sure your DS will love this opportunity and he'll flourish and grow and you'll be proud of him following his dream - and think of all the lovely trips to London that you'll have :)

Take care of yourself and keep busy and concentrate on making it easier for him - as we mum's do - and that will take your mind off. Have a wee greet in the car on the way home and then fill your days with something else and it'll be Christmas before you know it

Thanks Wax. I know you're right. Just feeling emotional - damn hormones. X

With DD1 who wasn't 18 until a few weeks in and who'd lived a very sheltered life the parting and weeks after the ache was visceral. I have welled up in middle of Dundee as parted company too many times to mention. But as I saw her lovely friends, her sporting circle, and how she just blossomed into a confident outgoing young adult. She suddenly appreciated home, it's comforts and all her dad and I did.

DD2 it has been slower as she's moved out gradually over 2 years and was 19 nearly 20 before properly leaving and she was soo ready.

I suspect the visceral ache and Dundee tears will return next year with DD3 who has also fallen for Dundee's charms.

Glad to hear your DS has settled in well Wax. DD3 is being subjected to a session with her Maw on her personal statement tomorrow

Glad your ds is settling in Wax - I'll admit to feeling a wee bit of responsibility after encouraging you/him to consider Aberdeen

Aurea - it does get better. Like Wax I'm maybe a bit hard hearted In my case, because I'd always expected ds to go away from home to Uni, as I'd been encouraged to go away to Uni by my own parents. But I do still miss ds and look forward to seeing him - at increasingly longer intervals (now not seen him since mid August - although I should see him next weekend). He's an only child so dh and I probably a bit too focussed on him and what he's up to.

We have a lot of WhatsApp communication with him: dh mostly about rugby, me mostly on practical things like what painkillers to take and which shoes to wear on a training course () and the "family" one for joint interest stuff and celebrations We're even now getting the occasional phone call

You'll work out what feels the new normal - and appreciate the contact that you do have and that you've raised a confident ds who is capable of getting into Oxford.

Hope you have a good drive

I will admit to some wistful looks into his empty room and I do think about him every day and probably facebook stalk him too much (but he never really posts anything!) but given (like most of us) I'd walk over hot coals for him and i've never spent more than a week away from him since he was born, I'm remarkably surprised that I wasn't more upset!

The reality has been easier than the thought I think. We've had a lovely weekend and he's been out and caught up with friends and for a few pints with his brother and some good food consumed at home. His washing has been done, ironed and packed and i'll wave him off tomorrow and expect it will be November or maybe even longer til the next time. He's lost a bit of weight and is still really stuffed with the cold and he's grown his beard back and he looks taller which will be my imagination

He is getting on really well with the 4 boys he's sharing with but the girl seems to do her own thing. I feel sorry for her and asked DS if they are including her etc. He says they are but she spends a lot of time on the phone and seems to have made some other friends which is good. The 4 of them have apparently already been talking about maybe getting a flat together next year but he feels it's a bit too early to commit to that yet but isn't averse to the thought at the moment.

Hope it all goes well Aurea and good luck with the PS Lidl. I'm really enjoying this time with the DC, I must be the only person who prefers teenagers :o

Aurea my heart goes out to you. My very wise mum once said to me to keep your children you have to let them go. I think this is so true, my lovely boy comes home because he wants to not because he feels he has to. My heart secretly signs when he talks to me about any issue good or bad. He has recently experienced a very difficult situation which has touched us all as a family and he still sought out me as his emotional support and I beyond proud of how he has coped with this. Your fab boy will be great Aurea because of your support and you will be fine because you know this is his dream.Big hugs to you.x

Oops sorry for the typos! Should be sings not signs!🙈

DS1 was diagnosed with ADHD this week at the grand old age of 21. Feeling like a bit of a rubbish mother for not sorting it out sooner when I managed to sort out DS2's ASD DX much earlier. DS1 has always been a bit of a tricky character though and has not always been cooperative. He's hoping medication will help him finally access education properly, hopefully he'll be going to college next year and eventually leaving home too.
I am missing DS2 more this year, I think because he has become more independent and doesn't contact us much these days. It's hard and I feel for anyone else feeling it too.

@Aurea safe journey. Things take time with change. I found the first few months hard. Now she makes the biggest mess and I'm relieved when she heads to Dundee and we can have the place tidy again.

@wigglybeezer glad your Ds has a diagnosis and hopefully things will settle for him.

Aurea, at least the Oxford terms are relatively short. That is a tough distance though.

I found it very difficult when Dd1 went away last year as she was so homesick at first, but one she made some friends and had stuff to do it was so much easier. There is very little chance of dd1 going away as she wants to go to Glasgow which is the same travel time from our house as her school. Yesterday she went to the Strathclyde open day and is now happy with this as her second choice so very unlikely she is going anywhere in the short term.

Stopped at service station 4 hours into 10 hour journey. I'm very touched by al your support. Thank you!
Might post a photo from his college when we drop him off on Tuesday. We have tomorrow (DH, DS and me) to look around Oxford. First time for me and DH

It will be a lovely time getting to know Oxford together :)

I've just waved DS2 off on his way back up to Aberdeen, he's gone into town for lunch with his brother before getting the train. he put his washing in the basket and made his bed before he left!

Have a wonderful day looking around Oxford Aurea

What an adventure ahead of your ds - but lovely that you can share this day with him.

Well, here he is. First photo standing outside his staircase (his accommodation block) and second photo of some of the grounds of his college. He is v lucky as he has a double bed with a small en-suite which he wasn't expecting. I feel quite selfish feeling sad when he is so happy. A brief trip to see him tomorrow and then the long journey home.

Well, here he is standing outside his staircase (his accommodation block). He is v lucky as he has a double bed with a small en-suite which he wasn't expecting. I feel quite selfish feeling sad when he is so happy. A brief trip to see him tomorrow and then the long journey home.

Great photos, it looks fab and he'll have a ball. It wont be so long before he'll be back to see you with tales of his adventures and to be fair, until you see him then, you'll probably not feel completely relaxed that he is happy and settling in.

DS2 went home after his weekend here and I really missed him again but I know he is happy and growing up and is still my beautiful boy. He managed to lose his wallet and got it back as some honest student handed it in. He had a lot of cash in it (including the extra I gave him when he was here) and it was all there as far as he knows ( ) .

I hope you have a nice goodbye with him tomorrow and a safe trip home.

Looks fabulous. He'll have a brilliant time.

Good luck with your drive back up.

Great photos Aurea, and what a great room to get! Good luck driving up and good luck to your Ds.

It does look special, worth all the effort getting him there, and I don't just mean the drive but the whole "journey". It is a hell of a drive though, we went down at Easter for a short break last year because I had always wanted to see the sites and visit the Pitt Rivers museum ( I've read too many books set in Oxford and have romantic notions about it!). I enjoyed it but not enough to do that drive again.