Gaming

[Mickmusic]

Should I worry about the time my youngest spends on Xbox ??

Depends on how old he is, how much times he is spending and what it is he is playing?

Depends on how old he is, how long he spends gaming and what else he does.

He’s 9 playing fortnite plays it before school and from he gets in till I stop him for bed doesn’t do anything else just now my oldest says it’s gis way of coping and not to worry but I’ve never been into computers.. it’s taken me ages just to work out how to reply to this ... so not sure what’s normal... oldest plays now and again and my lassie doesn’t bother with games

Coping with what? This would worry me as it is all too easy for them to disengage from life by obsessing over computer games.

Disclaimer is I have girls not boys. I restrict gaming time to max 2 hours (usually less) before teatime.

I am however a computer widow. DH has been obsessed with computers since the age of 7 and it is also his job. He regularly has to be reminded to stay in the real World. He agrees with me on the rules for the DC.

We’ve lost there mum last month just trying to adjust to “normality “ family helping out watching kids till I finish work and he won’t listen to them about coming off with out an argument ... told him to behave or loose use of it but not wanting to take it away if it keeping him saying

Sorry for your loss

That is a bit different. I would agree with your oldest at least for just now and for the times when you are not there, as long as he's getting his homework done etc.

Must be really really difficult but try to be available for him to come to you when he is ready as much as you can. I have 2 teens so completely get the frustration of them cutting themselves off when you make space for them.

He likes a cuddle and even when I’ve been angry upset and angry he comes and sits with me for a bit
Just not sure what’s good and what’s not

Don't think there are any right answers here. Sounds like you are all doing your best to support each other and cope. Sometimes just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other as best you can.

Thanks that’s what we’re trying it’s good to get someone saying your not ruining them

Sorry for your loss. I agree there is a lot of other things going on so I wouldn't make an issue or get into a stand off about it I don't think. At best what you can do is to try to make some other things equally desirable even if it's only curling up on the sofa to watch tv with you/other family.

Would a pet be possible? Thinking a rodent of some description. It might give him a bit of a focus?

When I wanted to limit my DSs time we agreed the limit upfront and then set a timer. Then it was the timer telling them to come off not me so was less confrontational if that makes sense.

Have any of you been able to get some bereavement counselling?

No pets
Was talk of getting another dog but not now
Yes we’re seeing family counselling next wk
Think I need to relax about it and let things develop
Just not used to making all decisions

You'll get there Mick, just don't put yourself under too much pressure too soon. Hope the counselling goes well. There are always people around to chat to here if you need it. Scotsnet can be quiet sometimes though. There is a bereavemnet section and a parenting one split into different age groups and if you need quick answers, chat tends to be the busiest.

Struggle with computer stuff ... took me to get this to work ... think victor meldrue ... I pushed that button ....

well, you managed this so far so you are doing great :)

Ta

Don’t know how to start a new question... thinking about my oldest birthday in nov 18th and getting him a good watch but should I say it’s from his mum as well ... 6 wks since she died not sure thought it be nice if I said it was something we agreed before it happened

That sounds a lovely idea Mick - I've seen your new thread and answered on there. Just have a good think about what type of style he likes and try to get something that wont date too much. We avoided anything "techy" as it would go out of date and my DS is quite quiet and likes things quite plain so we went for that type of watch.

A colleague was telling me about the watch his parents bought him for his 18th and he said it was very bling and although expensive, it wasn't his thing and after his 18th birthday, he never ever wore it. We went for something that we thought he would wear more often but maybe your boy would prefer something more flashy :)

I hope you are all doing okay.

That’s good advice I was thinking tag her type but that sounds like what happened to your college flash huge and that’s not what Callum’s like
Can get back into other thread and don’t know what I’ve done to my settings not telling me about your reply... need to ask my youngest to fix it

Up date fortnight uninstalled by mutual agreement...made a big difference to his behaviour especially with inlaws

Got oldest an automatic watch from paulin for his 18th ...it's perfect... subtle different ta for advice x

Fab to hear the updates Mick, I was wondering how were all doing. It's not the life and the future you had planned for yourselves, but it can be a great future and you are still a family facing it together. You sound like a really lovely dad, those boys of yours are lucky to have you and you are lucky to have them. Glad you liked the watch too and hope he had a lovely birthday :)

Sounds lovely and glad to hear that things seem to be more positive.

I'm keeping a Paulin watch on my list of potential presents for ds' 21st (3 years away ).

I can't believe I have another 18th to do next summer! DS2 isn't really a Paulin sort of guy so not sure what he'll be getting. Probably doesn't matter as he'll have lost it inside a week, whether he has actually worn it or not.