first time mum to be and freaking out!

[littlemisspom]

Hi i am soon to be a first time mum in october and i am waking up at 3am most nights freaking out.

Im worried and unsure about the HV - what will she expect/house not clean or tidy enough?

House isn't ready - feel like 1step forward is two steps back!

and the big one... having a child here and not being cut out for it :/

Ive been fine till now but with 2 months to go I'm really stressing. I have limited judgemental family, most friends vanished when I fell pregnant and all I have his my fiancé to vent to and he responds with his own stresses.

Any advice would be great.

Are you generally an anxious person?

Take each thing one at a time. Firstly the HV, chances are she (or he) will be perfectly lovely. All they want to see in the house is that it is an okay environment to bring a child home to. It doesn't have to be immaculate or pristine or stylish. They want to see that there isn't evidence of drug use, smoking, dog shit on the carpet etc.

House not ready, whilst the vision is that you have a perfect house and a beautiful nursery all decorated for your newborn, the reality is that you just need to have somewhere to sleep, somewhere for baby to sleep, somewhere clean to prepare food, somewhere to sit and relax and somewhere to store stuff so you aren't tripping over it. all the baby wants is to be warm, clean, dry and fed.

No-one feels they are cut for parenthood (or if they do they are delusional) but everyone gets by and finds their own way. You'll feel different when the baby is here.

I think you should mention that you are feeling anxious to the HV and also that you are feeling isolated. She/he should be able to help and recommend places to meet people. It is easier when the baby is here as there will be groups you can go to with people in the same boat as you and you will find friends, there may be some pregnancy groups in your area though.

Hope all goes well :)

Oh and it might be worth also posting in some of the busier forums as this one is pretty quiet at times and a lot of what you are asking isn't really exclusive to Scotland.

My "baby" will be 16 soon so I'm maybe a bit rusty :)

Hey, don't worry. I was meant to be moving with plenty of time before my baby arrived and my house sale/purchase fell through. We had to start from scratch with a new buyer and a new house for us to buy. I finally moved at 35 weeks pregnant into a house which needed a lot of work. We got a few bits done, like taking up floors and carpeting throughout and getting the nursery decorated but beyond that it was a mess. I had my LO at 38 weeks and so much stuff wasn't ready. I've still got boxes of stuff now which hasn't been unpacked and is in the garage.

HV hasn't been bothered in the slightest. She came a week after we moved in and then has been several times since, plus my LO struggled to gain weight so we had a lot of midwife visits after she was born and they weren't fussed either. I kept telling everyone 'we've just moved in' to explain the general chaos, but they weren't bothered at all.

Being a parent is scary and difficult but so rewarding. My LO is nearly 14 weeks and is amazing, even at 4am

Hi again

I'm still getting the hang of the thread thing so I'll just reply to both in one message.

I'm not generally an anxious person no but I just feel like I'm getting nowhere with the house and it never seems clean or tidy enough. I had a bit of a freak out with my partner and told him the leaving stuff at his backside has to stop and mucky boots on my freshly mopped floors isn't on. I've tried to say before but he goes off on one or says I'm being OTT. To be fair after me losing it with him this morning he was actually great about it all and has been pretty great throughout minus him putting off helping with the house. I was diagnosed with severe pgp yesterday which has stressed me a little because they want me to rest and right now I just don't have time for that!

I feel a lot better hearing from you both and think I've just bottled too much up and it's now exploded and manifested into this riot today lol.

I can't wait to meet our little man and neither can he. Can't believe one of you has teens/young adults and one has a wee toddler I'm nervous but excited and really can't wait to have him here.

Thanks again both of you for listening! X

Aww :)

It's just a busy time for you both and it's all exciting and new. I bet your partner has his own worries but he does need to be considering you and what you are trying to do in tems of getting organised and nesting. As well as the 16 year old, I have a just turned 17 year old who is about to start driving!! It goes by in a flash OP, it's not possible to savour every moment but I've come to the conclusion that I know why grandparents spoil their grandchildre, it's becasue you realise how quick it goes when your children are grown up.

Take care of yourself, try to relax and soon you'll have that sweet little boy in your arms.

Aw wow! That's scary to think that one day my little one will be driving and an adult you never think that far into the future at first!

I'm going to Potter around and get few things done today then chill out and await my man coming home from work.

Thank you so so much again! Xx

Glad that you are feeling more relaxed. You've still got loads of weeks left. I only finished up a week before DS1 was due - he was a week late though. I was booked in for a section with DS2 and finished the Friday before the section on the Wednesday....and I had a just turned 1 year old. Hard Core! lol. Try to enjoy your time and get out and get fresh air every day, even though the weather is shite. It's good for your mental and physical health to have a nice walk every day.

Aw really? I've been fortunate and saved holidays so I'm able to take a few weeks early before my absolutely shite maternity pay starts. At least I'll have time off. We have a dog so I'm out rain wind or shine which in Glasgow is all in one day !

Don't worry. My HV actually said to me (slightly tongue in cheek) that she's more concerned about an immaculate house as they wonder when you have time to care for the baby!

I had pre-eclampsia prior to Dd being born. I was in hospital. Dh was getting up, going to work, coming home getting changed coming to the hospital. He didn't think to hoover or clean thoroughly. So he got MIL to come in and she went mad that my skirting boards were dusty! Apparently the midwife wouldn't approve. The midwife was more bothered about checking my BP and checking Dd and how we were getting on.

They don't tend to get too worked up.

see my house is generally clean but lived in so not a show home but I was extremely worried that she would see something that id missed or didn't approve of kind of thing. Im glad a few people have responded and reassured me!

Thanks to all of you again!