Nat 5/Highers etc - Anyone getting ready with their S4 - S6 dc?

[weegiemum]

My dd1 is in s4 and about to sit 8 Nat5s. I don't know who is more wound up about it - her or me! (and I'm a teacher!!).

Wondered if there's anyone else out there to hold hands with?

DD is sitting English, Maths, Ghaidlig (Gaelic native speaker), French, History, Art & Design, Physics and Design & Manufacture. First is English on 5th May.

Just checked the chart - DS has done 5 hours today! An hour each of English, Maths, Engineering, Geography and Computing - he was supposed to do some Physics too but DH sent him out for an hour.

He's done loads of mind maps but DH says they are too detailed and he's not sure if DS has just rattled through stuff making Mind Maps without really taking anything in - some good pictures on them though.

Am I the only one who can't afford to give dd monetary tokens for getting grades? She's wanting to get the grades to allow her to get in to the higher and her end goal of going to uni.

I think I'll probably offer incentives along the lines of Magnum's, but DS is only sitting 5 N5s so I can just about stretch to that. Day 1 of study has gone well for him and we got out for a decent dog walk too.

Groovee, are there other incentives that your DC would be motivated by?

That was my view groovee, I had a post about it the other day. I thought we were still thinking about it but DH took the initiative and talked with them about it. We're by no means rich. I think the problem at the moment is that DS1 doesn't know what he wants to do so it's difficult for him to see that as a motivation. He knows that the better he does the more options he'll have but i think part of him thinks that if he did less well he'd have less options and it would be easier to make up his mind. He's not really motivated by money either so I'm not sure what the point is exactly. They've been told not to talk about it with friends.

I told them that talking about things like this just make people feel bad, either your friends as they are getting nothing or less, or themselves as others are getting more. I've told them not to lie so if someone asks if they are getting a reward to simply say that "I'm sure mum and dad will give me something if I do well" and leave it at that.

Nat 5s here too. DD is doing 7. She's had a really rough year with illness so not sure how she is going to do. She started the year doing 8 and was predicted mostly As with a couple of Bs. But then has suffered quite badly with illness and her grandad died during the prelims and it's all gone a bit pear shaped. So has dropped down to 7 (went to nat 4 chemistry as she failed prelim quite badly and hated it)

Not sure how things are going to work out for her but not as well as expected I don't think. I know she is frustrated as she is trying her best so hope it all goes well for her.

Other things people were doing was offering their choice of dinner for doing a decent day of study a treat such as tickets for a concert or getting their room decorated for doing well. Or jut random acts of kindness for working hard.

DS1 was delighted with getting £20 to go to the cinema with his mates after passing his N5's last year!

Mine are just spoiled tillie they get pocket money every month. DS1 spends none of it DS2 spends a few pounds of it. The rest gets saved. They've never been given gifts from family, they get money/cheques which they bank and I've always over spent on Christmas and Birthdays as they don't get actual gifts from anyone else. As a consequence, they've either been bought everything they want or have the means to buy it themselves.

On the positive side, they don't ask for anything, they behave exceptionally well and they have money in the bank.

Agree that it's best for kids not to share what incentives they're being offered, it causes a lot of disharmony.

I'd much prefer if DS would respond to a non- monetary incentive but money definitely talks with him, and he is under the impression that his friends are being offered "tonnes" of money and he wants to be able to say the same.

Hoping that DD will be cheaper on the incentives front! But that's 3 years away anyway.

Mine go to school with kids that will be getting handed new cars for 17/18th birthdays gifts so i am sure there will be some getting a lot more than they are for their exams - equally I am sure that there will be kids getting nothing regardless of whether their parents are wealthy or not.

Ds will I hope be sensible enough not to mention the specific incentives to his classmates. He's very cognisant of the fact that he is relatively very privileged compared to the majority of them.

I'd have done the level that my dad offered - I think dh has offered too much especially as ds rarely spends his money. What is slightly frustrating is that I tried to incentivise him for his French a couple of months ago and he wasn't interested

It's very frustrating that he only finally came to see me seeking help for his French Oral the day before the exam.

I managed to improve the worst of his atrocious pronunciation but I could have done soooooo much more in less than half a day (as he also had a rugby game)

We'll go out for dinner on results day. But dd knows she want to be a primary teacher. Spending £35 a week on a maths tutor has stretched us but I've seen a massive improvement in her confidence towards maths and hopefully getting a B.

Whilst he is definitely capable of 7 As, i suspect he won't get that so I don't think he'll get the full £350. I reckon it'll cost us about £250+ though. He got 4 As and 2 Bs in his prelims and they didn't really give a grade for Art though if it was based on the essay he'd probably get a C as they couldn't read it - he is supposed to use a laptop for written exams but they didn't bother to add Art to the list of those he needed the laptop for. He has been given his alternative timings for English and Geography for using the laptop and they still haven't included Art. I've queried it and I guess it is only for 20% of the total mark but it might just be the difference between one grade and another. Officially he needs an A to get to do Graph Comm as a crash Higher.

Whilst mine have done quite a lot of activities, they've tended to be at the cheaper end. Scouts, Judo, swimming etc rather than music lessons and tutors etc. they are also not into designer stuff so apart from the fact they grow like weeds, our main costs have been in food! So I don't really grudge it too much. They'll be fine as long as DH and I still have a job!

Dd1 is sitting six highers, maths, English, chemistry, biology, geography and graphics. She's hoping for good enough results to get an unconditional into science at Glasgow.

I'm not doing financial incentive. First the result should imo be the reward and secondly if she does fail I still want to celebrate her hard work so I've paid for her to go to Iceland with the school at the end of June and we will have a nice family meal out somewhere when the exams finish.

To be fair on ds, he'd probably put his "earnings" towards his "Australia Fund" as he's decided he wants to go to Uni there

We are trying to manage his expectations

In the past, we've rewarded good reports simply with a nice meal out.

Currently having a disagreement with him about his French revision. He's not going to start any until the end of next week and doesn't seem to understand that a small amount every day (even just 15 minutes) would be much more effective than a 3 hour cramming session.

Get him to download the Pomodoro timer prettybird - I'm liking it so much that I'm thinking of using it at work and home too. very simple thing in that you commit to a task for 25 minutes then have 5 mins chill out time then repeat...You switch about what you are doing for each 30 minute period so you keep focus and variety. I bought "The Lazy students guide to revision" which encourages starting 2 months prior to the exams so we were a bit late but it all seems pretty straightforward sensible stuff. we've generally done a new book or something for a good report so no history of high financial rewards either.

Best of luck to your DD RJ I'm sure she will do herself (and you) proud!

Thankfully we are more relaxed this year for the AHs as ds has 4 unconditionals so these are kind of icing on the cake. I well remember the stress from last year though - good luck with it all.

Dh uses the Pomodoro timer and loves it. I've tried it but hate it.

I've asked ds about timing and techniques: in general he seems pretty sorted. It's just that he refuses to doesn't understand the best way to learn a foreign language.

Also to be fair, for most of his subjects, he finished the Nat 5 curriculum ages ago (before Christmas) so they've been doing revision topics for quite a while. But his French teacher was off for at least 2 months in autumn and he was already struggling with motivation. She said the same thing about him at last year's parents' evening (we didn't get to see her this year, not was French included in his school report because she'd been off/was still off) : that he needed to do little and often and he'd be fine

Thanks one magnum I do hope so. She's had a very difficult year. It's hard watching them and trying not to get frustrated isn't it! I've solved it by signing up for another postgrad so I'm busy reading journal articles and drafting essays - if she does on next year is two advanced higher, crash photography and history higher, an open uni module and volunteering apparently.

A can of worms has been opened on our local Facebook page as one mum was praising one of the local schools for the extra classes in the holidays. Another knew nothing about it .

I'm pretty sure ours doesn't have anything.....but then..... :o