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Scotsnet

Welcome to Scotsnet - discuss all aspects of life in Scotland, including relocating, schools and local areas.

Did I dream this

20 replies

rogueantimatter · 02/09/2015 11:52

or have 16 and 17YOs really got the vote now?

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chipsandpeas · 02/09/2015 11:55

Yes for some elections they have

rogueantimatter · 02/09/2015 11:57

!

For MSPs?

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HirplesWithHaggis · 02/09/2015 12:00

Yes, they'll be voting in the Scottish Parliamentary elections next May. :)

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 02/09/2015 12:01

About time - no taxation without representation and all that...

rogueantimatter · 02/09/2015 12:11

I can't believe I didn't catch it on the news!!! I knew it was in the SNP manifesto but....

DS will be 17 in May. He commented recently that he thinks he's a socialist. But he told a lib dem rep who called in the run up to the general election that he wasn't sure if he was in favour of 16 and 17YOs getting the vote as he doesn't think he knows enough about politics and how things work.

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HirplesWithHaggis · 02/09/2015 12:38

Well, he has a few months to do a bit of reading and research, discuss things with friends and family, and decide how he feels. And if he's still not sure by May, he doesn't have to vote - though it would be a shame if he didn't.

(I don't know how you feel about him, but Rev Stu has three very good articles about how the voting system works for the Scottish Parliament on Wings, I'll dig out links if you like?)

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 02/09/2015 12:40

You'll also need to make sure he is actually registered to vote - you can check with your councils electoral officer

rogueantimatter · 02/09/2015 14:13

Thank you for your replies.

The fact that my younger DC can vote doesn't make me feel old at all. (hah)

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WankerDeAsalWipe · 03/09/2015 23:11

We had to add DSs (just turned 14 and just turned 15) to the electoral register - we asked them to decide if they wanted to be British or Scottish.... first decision made!

rogueantimatter · 03/09/2015 23:27

Oh!!!

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WankerDeAsalWipe · 03/09/2015 23:31

DS2 is very interested and has loads of opinions which he is willing to share - was quite proud of him today when he said, "maybe the world would be a better place if we could all just put ourselves in other peoples shoes and show a bit of compassion" brought a tear to my eye. He can be a bit of a gobshite sometimes though so I told him he could start with his poor mother :o

rogueantimatter · 03/09/2015 23:38

Please encourage your DS to become a politician! He sounds fab.

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WankerDeAsalWipe · 04/09/2015 10:15

Aww thanks - he is too shy I think...and a bit volatile but maybe he'll grow out of that :)

He also has long ish hair which he refuses to have cut as he perceives that his ears are too small . They are not btw, he just still has quite delicate feminine features - more Justin Beiber than David Beckham :o

I just find it all quite interesting watching him actually trying to engage with the world and current affairs etc. We have never had this with DS1 who is borderline aspergers and doesn't have a view on anything! I can't see him ever managing to vote as he still wants to have everything selected for him (clothes, glasses etc) he is equally frustrating.

rogueantimatter · 04/09/2015 11:28

That's so interesting. My DS has (slight, though officially diagnosed) ASD but he's much more interested in politics and ethics than his neurotypical older sister.

He thinks he might not vote in case he gets it wrong. So I tried to explain the Scottish voting system......

DS thinks you should only vote for a party if you're sure you have good reasons for voting for it. He thinks politics is tribal.

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WankerDeAsalWipe · 04/09/2015 11:37

That's not a bad thing though -at least he isn't voting just because his friends/teacher/mum says that's who to vote for.

I don't follow any party, I try to look at who the candidates are and think about whether I think they would do a good job and as for party politics I look at the situation at the time and decide who I think is the best option but essentially I am a socialist.

DS1 isn't diagnosed, we were offered it and told he'd probably come out borderline so we didn't bother at the time as he was coping well - now I think we are maybe thinking of asking for diagnosis as he is very introverted and cannot make any decisions etc. We wondered if it might help for uni or job interviews to know that he isn't being deliberately obtuse :)

rogueantimatter · 04/09/2015 11:56

FWIW DS doesn't like having a diagnosis - referred when he was 8. I'm sure he presents to many an adult as "deliberately obtuse" too (well put)

I worry about him missing out on opportunities for want of communicating with the relevant people or failing to hear/read relevant info. He never knows anyone's name for example.

On the other hand when he's talking about an interest with anyone who shares his interest you'd never know he has a special need. He got himself into a good group (sort of by himself) recently so it might be that when the time comes for him to have interviews he'll be okay. I share your worry though. DS would never approach someone.

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WankerDeAsalWipe · 04/09/2015 12:16

Does he get any help at school etc rougue ?

We have repeatedly asked for help for him at high school and got precisely nowhere - they talk about things they could do but nothing actually gets done. Then by the time you realise they've done nothing and gone back, time is flashing by and then you get more promises that aren't delivered again.

The issue is I guess that he behaves impeccably, is bright and does his work - therefore from their pov there is no problem. At last parents night a teacher recommended out the blue that she thought he'd be better using a laptop, I asked if we needed to do anything and she said "no" she'd deal with it all. Here we are nearly a year later and nothing - he's not bothered as it was a bit of a red herring anyway - she thought he lacked motor control when in fact he is a fairly skilled artist especially with fine detailed drawing.

Sorry for the hijack OP!

WankerDeAsalWipe · 04/09/2015 12:25

They do sound similar though - lately he has managed to get back on-line gaming with people he sort of hangs about with and is very animated and seems to lead a lot of the convos as far as I can hear from my end. Heard him actually laughing the other day - not a sound we hear a lot now and he walks about generally expressionless - it's hard to know if he is actually happy or not most of the time.

He also has a weird walk as he doesn't move his arms - not sure if it's related or just self consciousness or what Confused

he was referred with anxiety issues etc when he was about 10 but it was all related to bullying at the time and his behavior in school was very different to his behavior at home. he'd already been referred to Speech and Language therapy though at age 8. Looking back there were loads of indicators which we missed I guess with him being the oldest we just thought he was normal. He was an overly content baby and had feeding issues which I've since found out are fairly classic early signs.

rogueantimatter · 04/09/2015 13:05

Great hijack. I'm enjoying it. Apologies for any new readers interested in the recent changes to the Scottish electorate.

Feeding issues!! My DS was the same (slight but definite issues -fussy feeder while breastfed. Very content baby too. Also loves online gaming.

DS' teachers are supposed to check at the end of every lesson that he has his homework written down, but they don't and senior management (in other ways very supportive) think this is an unrealistic requirement - lack of time. DS would hate to be singled out for one-to-one with most of the teachers anyway. But the teachers often 'complain' to me that he's disorganised and not engaged. Which is annoying as they're the ones in the classroom with him. What am I supposed to do? Remind him in the mornings to pay attention? Fat lot of good that does. I'm very patient with his scatterbrain tendencies as I was like that too and can't concentrate on things that don't interest me either. I'm sure I too have ASD but didn't realise it till recently as I am interested in people, sociology, try to be considerate and kind etc. He wouldn't hurt a fly and doesn't do petty/office politics etc so I feel quite protective. In many ways he must be a very easy pupil to have.

DS is fairly inexpressive but not very noticeably different except for taking a long time to respond to questions. He's lanky so he has that kind of easy lope that fit guys have (he skateboards, cycles and plays a bit of badminton). I think he copes with anxiety by blocking things out - switching off, withdrawing into himself. So his difficulties aren't very noticeable. People who know him quite well are surprised that he has a diagnosis of special needs but he has no interest in people or in chit-chat, gossip etc. Like myself, I think he over-reacts - not in an obvious hyper-active hysterical sort-of way but by deeply thinking about things people say or something he's noticed or that's occurred to him while the conversation carries on, now unnoticed by him.... So he can't always keep up. And his brain just isn't wired for communication. He tells me nothing about his day or anyone else's news, preferring to talk about philosophical stuff or specific things he's interested in.

Tbh I suspect that the thought of having to choose a uni course is so daunting that he's burying his head in the sand. I think he sometimes transfers his general sense of the world being too tricky for him to navigate into anger at (sometimes very trivial) injustices. So he focuses on those instead of getting on with what he needs to do.

But he has good friends and I think he's happy - he loves playing and listening to music - he sings in the shower (it's so funny and lovely). I do worry about him though.

If your DS has sensory issues - noise, fluorescent lights, sensitivity to smells eg, he might get more benefit from a diagnosis (extra time in exams, in a small room, pen that records (uni lectures) that sort of thing. I don't really know though. Are you in Scotland?

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WankerDeAsalWipe · 04/09/2015 13:23

Yes, in Scotland, a lot of that is familiar. He was always a bit hard to get as he does have a sense of humour and does get the abstract - he isn't that disorganized anymore but claims to never remember anything - only gets angry if you force him into doing something himself. He gets his homework mostly via school app but seems to be able to manage it okay. Tall lanky, likes swimming doesn't like team sports. Difficulty breastfeeding, switched to a bottle and he threw up a lot of the time- slept through very early, would happily wait for food. Has issues with things that are damaged (apples and fruit in general) used to hate food touching other food - not so bad now. Insists that he can't clean his own glasses (he's worn them since he was 6) If I don't do them for him then he gets very annoyed and will wear them dirty! he doesn't seem interested in Music though he was as a younger child. Wouldn't sing to save his life.

Conversation goes like this:

me - was that you playing with friends on-line?
him - yes
me - who was on?
him - just friends/can't remember
me - what games are you into at the moment?
him - just games
me - what are they about?
him - stuff
me - what are they called?
him - why do you want to know?
me - just making conversation, it's what people do
him - oh, okay.

and then he escapes - whole conversation where I have been told nothing and no information is volunteered :o

Avoids conflict at all costs though used to be happy to play fight and wind up his brother. Would hate to be in trouble. Says he can't speak to people but if I make him pay his own money into the bank, he speaks perfectly nicely to the teller. I make his order his own meals when out and he can do it and comes across fine but hates doing it.

He doesn't really have any other sensory issues that I think would affect him. DS2 probably has more - he hates crowds and loudness and can't touch the brushed steel fridge door handles - if you rub your hand down them he freaks out - he doesn't have any other issues though. I'd say they were more idiosyncrasies like the fact I can't eat tomato wedges but like them in other shapes :)

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