How to make at home holidays easier with 3 little kids

[SurvivalModeActivated]

I've got a 7yo, a 2.5yo and a 9 month old.
The 9mo is needy and mummyish, hates me going out of sight and can't crawl or occupy herself much yet. The 2.5yo is tantrum central and a complete meddler around the house. He'll use chairs to reach what he shouldn't and has a washing machine fascination, so clean washes will be run through again with dirty clothes and dried and folded clothes etc.
And the 7yo is easy going but demands constant attention unless his nose is stuck in a book or lego. He could talk both hind legs off a donkey.

If I spend the day at home, I'm constantly running around doing my jobs in an inefficient manner because I'm constantly interrupted by the kids or firefighting a near disaster so I'm knackered by the end of the day, and the house is a mess.
If we go out its exhausting as the baby needs pushing or holding and the toddler will tantrum and deliberately wake the baby up from naps. We have got a double buggy but he wants to get in and out alllll the time and flails around, hurting the baby if he doesn't get what he wants in that respect. Then the 7yo gets bored too if its just toddler things. Then you come home, have to empty the car and deal with tired cross kids who just want their tea RIGHT NOW.

Support wise, DH will take a ½ day off here and there, and my mum has had 1 child for 1 night for the past 2 weeks but that'll be it now.

The baby is still sleeping in our room (getting her out is a priority!) so sleep is variable. MIL is very ill with cancer so we can't go away, and I have had a candida flare up so am trying to diet strictly to manage the fatigue, brain fog and gut issues from that. Oh and I've got ADHD and ASD so life is like sharing my head with a toddler.

Are there any hacks for having an actually enjoyable day that you'd recommend, or is this stage of life to be endured not enjoyed with 3 kids at these ages? I'm just constantly exhausted! The difference in effort needed to look after 2 kids with a decent age gap vs 3 kids with a small age gap seems exponential!

I know a lot of the answer is getting up earlier to get the chores done and keeping the kids to a routine, but where can I take them or what sort of things can I do with them that keep them occupied, don't take hours of prep time and don't leave me needing a nap?!?

I try to avoid screens if at all possible so no TV suggestions please.

I don’t have the 7yo but do have the 2.5yo and the insanely clingy 9mo - much sympathy there. If we’re going anywhere far I’ll stick toddler in the buggy and baby in the sling.

Our best cheap days out involve a circuitous trip 30-45 minutes away (to allow for a nap and some quiet time with a audiobook in the car) to somewhere with a decent playground / adventure play park with cafe, loos etc. You could keep toddler and baby in the toddler zone and give 7yo more freedom to explore. Take lots of snacks so they’re not too desperate for dinner when you get in. We also love a garden centre but appreciate that might be less good for 7yo.

Any friends you can hang out with do the seven year old has someone to play with? I have three - 1.5, 5 and 8 and it’s tough with the toddler around. I feel sad for the older two as we can’t go out and do as much fun stuff and mainly hang out in parks. Play dates really help break it up though and my older two luckily love a holiday club.

@PestoPastaLife Is your toddler ok in the garden centre? Mine is a runner, so is on reins, and isn't to be trusted in the indoor bit!! There's a couple nearby with miniature railways though so I'll try them. 7yo would probably enjoy pottering round too tbh

@idontknow54789 Yeah its definitely marginally easier going out with someone else, even if they've got a tribe of their own. At least they can mind the pram if you need to nip to the loo or whatever!
I was supposed to meet up with my cousin and her 3 kids yesterday but they ended up coming here instead as I had workmen take longer to finish than they thought. It's nice to have a bit of adult company and the kids kept each other occupied, apart from the constant demands for drinks and icecream!!

@Johnjes thank you, I am trying to revise my expectations of what I can achieve in a day and how much I should be doing for the kids. I think they are actually happy with the simple things but the mum guilt and the perfectionist expectations of ADHD drives me far harder than I should be. And oh, to be able to sit down in peace to enjoy my kids and not have the next 'to do' task peck my head till I give up and get it done.

That book looks very interesting, thank you!

Stop doing too much and putting so much pressure on yourself. I remember a lightbulb moment with 3 under 6, I was staring at all the baby stuff and thought what’s the point fighting it I just need to deal with the fact my house will not be picture perfect and tidy for at least 10 years. Once I gave up caring about being on top of it all I found things easier. I tried to keep one area fairly tidy so I had one place I could just chill in. My youngest is 9yo now and my house is starting to stay tidy without much effort these days. Bedrooms is another story 😝

The rest is dependant on your set up. For us we invested in our outside area and made sure it had enough to keep all DCs happy, play house, slide plus toddler play set & slide, mini ride ons, small water table, small paddling pool with balls, plastic table and chairs, chalk and let them go crazy, comfy seating for me. We are in a terrace with a back yard but we made it work.

Inside our dining room as doubled as a play/craft/hangout room for years. Again it’s slowly starting to resemble a normal dining room these days with tge exception of a play kitchen which still gets used.

other tips, pack lunches and snacks in the morning and put in lunch boxs to reduce washing up. If you stay home it’s all ready for you, if you go out it’s all ready for you.

Don’t fret about keeping them clean, if they make a mess that’s fine a bath before bed fixs it all as long as hands wash when eating that’s all you need.

Make the kids do tasks and chores, the earlier you start the better and keep it up.

Low, low expectations! You have it really tough at the moment. As few chores as you can get away with until back to school. DH to set the washing machine the night before and hang the washing out in the morning.

Can you get a cleaner for the rest of the summer holidays?
Podcasts for you to zone out to, easy dinners on repeat, playdate to come round for the 7 year old, TV and whatever it takes to survive.

Mine are recently turned 5, 3 and 1. Littlest has learned to walk within the last few weeks and that’s been transformative actually, as he can now get involved in playing at the park or in the garden. I found the 10-14m bit quite tricky as he wasn’t as easy to stick in the sling and ignore, but not quite able to be safely set down anywhere. Also, the newly 3yo gets (overall) easier all the time. I think you’ll be in a different position by October half term!

Mu advice, based on what worked for me, is to keep things low key. We do a LOT of variations of walking to a park, stopping off for a coffee and doing colouring in, and then playing in the garden. I was worried they would be bored but I think they prefer it to days where I’ve made more effort, as I’m more relaxed and this seems to be the main factor in everyone having a nice day!

I love the lunchbox tip, thank you. Its so much easier to prep when they're not under your feet or creating disasters!!
There isn't much spare cash for cleaners unfortunately. I'm a SAHM and we're putting money towards remodelling part of the downstairs as its not really working in the current set up. Think lots of separate rooms with no flow through, and no space for kids or babies in the very tiny kitchen that doesn't face the garden. There's a good size utility room that is very damp and isn't food safe as slugs, wood lice and who knows what else prance along the worktops at night, and I think we host the national collection of cellar spiders too!
So... in 2 years time, the kids will be older and easier, the open plan kitchen/living/dining room will be complete (hopefully!) and the current toddler will be in nursery. I just need to survive that long!! 😃

Your set up sounds similar to us, long terrace with cabin kitchen which is why I needed to be outside with DCs when they played outside. In the end I found having seperate rooms easier, the back room aka dining room doubled as a play area. The front room aka semi tidy room was the room we’d chill in when I wanted to lie down and zone out. I shut the door, brought a few toys & snacks in, had a decent potty to hand and put cartoons/movie on while I led on the couch. The DCs could crawl up on me, decorate me with hair clips, leave me be but it gave me an hour or 2 of time just chilling with them in the room with me. In an open plan area that would have been harder to manage. We use to have a small kids table with chairs I could move from room to room that they could sit at eating snacks, have tea parties on and so on.

@SurvivalModeActivated
im a Mum of 3 myself although mine are now older (14, 10 and 7) but I remember the toddler and baby days well and I had a 7yr old and a 3 year old when my youngest was born.

My hacks would be:-

Get up every morning and get ready as if you are going out, everyone dressed and up - I felt this gave me a bit of purpose, we were good to go if we had too and it formed part of a daily routine and being dressed and sorted makes you feel better and ready for the day.

Pre-prepped snacks and food in the fridge. So sandwiches made and Tupperware’d the night before, (or big tub of pasta salad made or couscous, whatever your tribe like or homemade quiche/savoury muffins etc…) fruit chopped and cucumber sticks etc. juice jug or water jug filled in the fridge - this is then one less job to do, if you stay in they’re ready, if you go out you’re good to go.

Baby bag ready at all times so no scrambling round for stuff, re-loaded and replenished every night with nappies, wipes, clean clothes etc….

Calendar planning - get the calendar out for the holidays and try to plan some activities, I don’t mean for every single day as some home days are needed but have a look to see what is on at the local library/ children’s centre etc local shopping centres often have things on and bookshops sometimes do story telling etc etc… local parks have rambles with rangers - look on planet offers for cheap deals out and try to make some plans to see other mums as it can be very isolating.

For your older child - is there a holiday club they could go too afew sessions? I know you say you are a SAHM and don’t “need” childcare, but this would massively help you and them and give everyone a little break and a change of scenery.

Tagteam with other mums, maybe organise a couple of play dates home or park and just getting out makes people feel better.

Be kind and realistic to yourself regarding housework and stuff - 3 young kids is hard work and exhausting and pick your battles with what needs to be done and don’t try to conquer too much - Rome wasn’t built in a day.

You will get past this - it’s a difficult stage for everyone but everyone understands x

No way I'd be at no garden centre with kids that age. A fenced park, every time. Or just a massive patch of grass and a few balls, preferably with a fence.

Keep it low key op.

I'd just be packing a massive tupperware full of sandwiches, stuff for the baby and a diaper bag. Just get out the door and hope for the best!

splash park?

If baby allows you any time in the evening... Prep as much as you can for the day ahead whether going out or not, make packed lunches... Even if you just have a little picnic in the garden.
Lower your expectations around the house and play with them more, you'll probably find their behaviour improves because all they want is your attention which they're not getting if you're trying to get jobs done.
It's taken me 12 years to learn that 😂😂 my house will be tidy again over day when they've all moved out

This is so true! They are so pleased when I do make time to spend with them and give them my full attention.
DH had half a day off today and we cracked the Laundry himalayas on the dining room table, plus set the lounge back to normal after having work done to repair the fireplace and got the babys cot set up in the spare room, so we have some rooms back to useable space again, and hopefully baby will lie in in the morning without DHs alarm blaring at her! Jobs are so much easier with someone else around!

Tomorrow (today actually) we are all going to Thornbridge Estate for the afternoon so the kids can cool off in the duck fountain :)

Onwards and upwards.

@hkathy there's a splash park about 40 mins away according to Google. I think I'll explore it next week. The rest of the park looks pretty good too.