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School holidays

Find half term and school holiday activity ideas.

Original poster

Mum guilt this morn - DS age 5 has been first at holiday club all week

21 replies

pinkviolets · 29/10/2025 09:00

I’ll just start by saying that I have had mum guilt since DS started school just over a year ago. He’s one of the oldest in the year but looked so small last year.
I work 4 days a week and we don’t have a huge amount of family help so during school hols we have to make use of the holiday club about 50% of the time, the rest me and DH divide our holidays up, plus I take some unpaid parental leave.

Anyway this week DS has gone to holiday club Mon, Tue and Wed (off with me the rest of the week), and he’s been the first kid to arrive in the morning at 8:30 and one of the last to get picked up at 4:45 and I’ve just walked away this morn feeling like he’s there too much and I’m feeling really guilty aboht it. He’s nearly 6 and i thought it would get easier but it’s not. The holiday club is at the school he goes to and covers both infants and juniors so probably about 200 kids, so I can’t understand why only such a small amount of kids use the club.

Not sure why I’m writing this. I know I want to work. I want to contribute to my pension and have some of my own money, but the guilt is bad sometimes - anyone else?

OP posts:
ShenandoahRiver · 29/10/2025 09:02

Does he enjoy being there?

Overthebow · 29/10/2025 09:02

Don’t feel bad. I think that’s actually quite unusual. My dd was at holiday club the last 2 days and hours are 8am to 6pm, when I dropped her off at 8.05am she definitely wasn’t the first one there. It’s lovely he has a mix of holiday club with friends and then being at home with you.

ShenandoahRiver · 29/10/2025 09:03

And why do you feel 'mum' guilt that he is in school?

JSMill · 29/10/2025 09:03

Please don’t feel guilty. I work in a school and I promise you there are lots of children in that situation. He probably is having more fun at holiday club than some of classmates parked on their tablets at home.

Original poster
pinkviolets · 29/10/2025 09:04

Yes he does seem to enjoy it. Also I find when he mixes with the older kids he comes home sometimes acting a bit more mature. But I just can’t shake off the guilt because a lot of other kids don’t seem to go at all, despite parents working so obviously have a lot of family help.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkviolets · 29/10/2025 09:05

JSMill · 29/10/2025 09:03

Please don’t feel guilty. I work in a school and I promise you there are lots of children in that situation. He probably is having more fun at holiday club than some of classmates parked on their tablets at home.

Thanks @JSMillthis is true!

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CoucouCat · 29/10/2025 09:06

It will be better once he has a group of friends going. My ds age 7 has a great time at holiday club - it’s not a punitive place to be!

My dd now age 15 was like your ds - always first in and last out. She is doing brilliantly at school, loads of friends, babysits, doing silver DofE, has a nice sports hobby that occupies her about four hours a week… she’s happy.

Do I regret not having been able to spend more time with her when she was small? Yes. But needs must. You have to work, and holiday club is FUN. Don’t feel sad

childofthe607080s · 29/10/2025 09:07

He is happy? Yet you feel guilty ? For working to feed and clothe the family ? That’s daft.

SodaPopEarWorm · 29/10/2025 09:10

He gets first pick of the toys! If he is enjoying it then hold onto that. I like them mixing with older children too rather than just their own age group. As he seems to be an only child it gives him people to play and interact with.

He isn't the only child going, it is just what you see. My friend works in a wraparound care club. You need to work, just like the staff in the club and all the teachers who miss their own children's sport days and assemblies if they work in a different school.

You are not alone. I sent my children to holiday clubs because they begged me and I was a sahm. They loved being with other children so they used to go 2 days in a half term week.

BringBackCatsEyes · 29/10/2025 09:13

My kid was in some sort of club for most of the holidays.
Lone parent, full time job.
I was pulled so many ways, a bit angry how things had turned out, a bit upset that (because I was rarely at the school gate) wasn’t part of the Mum groups who arranged play dates (and lift sharing for clubs) but not guilty. He sometimes moaned but knew I had to work. At 16 he does now appreciate that it was hard.
It was actually harder around 11, 12 - a bit old for kids clubs, but too young to be left to his own devices for weeks on end during holiday.

SJM1988 · 29/10/2025 09:14

100% he is having more fun that just being with you the whole week.
We also use holiday clubs about 50% of the school holidays. DS loves it. We try to coordinate with friends so he definitely has a close friend there but if not he usually knows someone there. Alot of the kids that he goes to breakfast club with also go to holiday club. He has a good range of friends from reception to year 6 now (he is year 3)

I remind myself that I work not only for me but to allow my DC some experiences that otherwise would not happen. Sports / days out / clubs / presents etc. Not only is it good for DS to mix with other children of all ages, it is also good for him to see we work to provide for our family. Sometimes the mum guilt hits hard but I remind myself of these things to try and make it a little better.

Bumdrops · 29/10/2025 09:17

They may be parents who would love to send their kids to holiday clubs but can’t afford ir

  • parents working from home and trying to keep the kids quiet in the background
  • parents who take unpaid leave to cover the holidays - see parental leave
  • those who have taken the kids away for holiday

the list is endless, it’s all relative
don’t let the guilt get to you !

Tillow4ever · 29/10/2025 09:35

I don’t know if this will make you feel any better, but when I was a kid, the school used to give us a leaflet about all the holiday club activities due to take place. Everyone I would go through marking up all the ones I desperately wanted to do. I never got to do any though because my parents had their own business and we lived there (a pub) so they didn’t need childcare. I’m still gutted at missing out all these years later!

So try not to feel bad - I bet your son is having a blast and really loves going. Holiday clubs are so much more fun than school.

QuickPeachPoet · 29/10/2025 09:43

You're doing what you need to do to put food on the table, clothes on his back and a good example in his brain!
It sounds like you have a good balance tbh - half a week with friends and half a week with you.

MigGirl · 29/10/2025 09:50

Don't feel guilty, I bet he's having a wail of a time. Both mine went to breakfast club at school and loved it and even though I work term time I would send them to holiday club some of the time to, so I could get a break as well. They loved that to, we had no family support so it was the only way I got a bit of a break.

Yes some people have family to help, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are out doing activities with kids. When DS went to summer holiday club, they went swimming x2 a day sometime as it was in a leisure centre. He got way more exercise then with me.

Dollymylove · 29/10/2025 09:51

I would love to have gone to a holiday club with my pals than hang around my mothers skirts complaining I was bored.
I wish I could have sent my kids to holiday club 😅 i was a SAHM and skint and I dont think they had holiday clubs back then

IHeartFridays · 29/10/2025 09:54

Don’t feel bad at all. The only reason mine were not first was because I was disorganised in the mornings!

TinyTear · 29/10/2025 10:08

Don't feel guilty, i am nearing the end of this life but my kids have gone to holiday clubs most holidays - even this week my 10yo even though she is one of the oldest there, and none of her friends are, she plays with the younger ones, helps the playworkers, and LOVES the pumpkin carving, making skeletons and spiderwebs and so on - and has quiet time to read and do homework

and she KNOWS she would be stuck in front of the TV if she was home as while the sibling can entertain themselves better, this one would watch TV and then complained she watched too much TV :-D But me and her dad have to work so we can't entertain her

mrssquidink · 29/10/2025 10:25

I’m also going to say don’t feel guilty! My kids went too, they are now 20 and 17 and are not scarred by the experience. He’ll be having a great time.

SockBanana · 29/10/2025 10:42

I feel guilty when mine complain about being the last ones picked up - but they also complain if I pick them up too early.

We have family support, but the holiday clubs are often more enriching for them. They mix with other kids, and aren't just sat in front of screens all day (which is what they do most days at grandparents).

The guilt can't be helped, its natural. But you're doing nothing wrong - others probably have guilt that they can't afford to send them to holiday clubs as much as you do, or can't get their arse in gear to get them out the door to get there for the start (me).

Your kid is happy, you're doing great.

Original poster
pinkviolets · 29/10/2025 11:38

Thanks all I feel much better now! It’s true that DS would soon be moaning at me if he knew his friends were there but he wasn’t. Also he is a very energy kid and in this weather I would really struggle to keep him amused.

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