Requesting time off in school term time for a holiday

[VikSoph]

Hi there!

So a bit of background:
My dad was diagnosed with cancer last year. He is currently undergoing treatment, but the outlook is uncertain for now.
As a family, we have made the decision not to tell my son (11 years old) about his grandfather's diagnosis just yet because we feel it would be unnecessary to upset or worry him unless we absolutely have to.

When I was a teenager, we went on a holiday family to Egypt. That was the last family holiday we went on all together before we grew up and all flew the nest.
My dad got quite emotional reminiscing about this holiday the other day and asked me if he could take my son away for a week to Egypt, just the two of them. He's understandably quite scared about what the future holds and he said he really wants to give his grandson a lasting memory of him by taking him on holiday.

This diagnosis has been such an eye-opener for the whole family. It's smacked us so hard with the realisation that we really are all on such borrowed time and we really need to make the most of our loved ones whilst we still have the chance to.

I have therefore made the decision I am happy for my dad to take my son on holiday. He is currently in his first year of high school.
My dad wants to take him away the last week of September/going into early October. So by this point, my son will be 12 and in his second year of high school.

I just wondered if anyone has any advice on how I handle this with the school?
I have no intention of lying to the school and pretending he's sick or anything like that, because I don't want to encourage my son to lie. But I just wanted to check if anyone else has been in a similar position and whether the school is likely to accept my request?

Schools won’t approve so you will be fined

I would be wary going just the two of them Incase your dad gets poorly

Just logistically - I would think your father and son would need separate insurance set up as your father resides in France and your son in the UK? So if anything happened they wouldn't be dealt with together and it could be a massive issue. I might be able to get my head around taking that risk somewhere at least one of them was familiar with, but sending them off to a random location with language challenges and all the other potential issues sounds like a recipe for disaster. It's hard enough navigating medical issues in another language as an adult.

And there's still no chance I'd leave my child alone with someone with medical challenges if they didn't even know it was happening. If your dad does need help and can't ask for it, your son would have no idea what to tell anyone. This is a major safety risk in any country.

My children are never left alone with my sister in law for example - she has multiple health conditions and my children would not be equipped to handle an emergency.

They won’t authorise it, they can’t, it will go down as unauthorised, which is either ‘so what?’ OR they will fine you. Which you may be happy to pay as part of the overall holiday cost.

Really sorry to hear about your Dad and I hope his treatment is successful.

Personally I would not send a 12 yo alone on a holiday abroad with someone with a cancer diagnosis unless they were fully in remission. Too much responsibility/ vulnerability if something were to happen.

Your Dad will be immuno-compromised for a long period after treatment, and Egypt is notorious for food related bugs, my friend and half the hotel got a horrendous infection from some sort of common sand fly…and that’s before you get to any directly cancer-related complications.

The travel insurance cost will be astronomical. Has your Dad actually checked the cost of insurance ?

Sorry to be really blunt: it isn’t your 12 year old’s job to address yours or your Dad’s understandable emotional yearnings.