I hate summer holidays!

[LiseHB]

I'm finding this summer holiday really tough and we are only just starting week 2.
I feel like a live in maid or like I'm running a B&B. Anyone else feel like this?

I'm getting so low with constantly having to tidy something up (kids or animals), feed something (kids or animals) and having to base my days around every other person apart from myself.

I feel I have no one to talk to. I'm feeling low and angry and hating my home life at the moment.

how old are the children?

14 and 11. 14 year old sleeps in till around lunchtime and give me nothing but attitude, 11 year old sits on iPad all day. I know I need to be the one to make the change and be firm with them pulling their own weight around the house but I get nothing but complaints and it's not fair and I'm not doing it. Then when I carry out with consequences it's like I'm the worst person in the world. I know it's just how parenting is, but I just dread the summer holidays because it's mainly all down to me and I feel so lonely.

I would call a family meeting and set out some new house rules. Are you married or have a partner? Get him on board too. Explain that in return for pocket money there will be certain expectations. It's OK for them to have a lie in (although our house rule is no later than 11am). And a bit more screen time is normal, but all day isn't healthy. And at their ages you don't need to wait on them! They can get their own food, get them to experiment with new breakfasts or lunches, get them baking themselves some nice snacks.

Yep hate it too OP. I have DS10 and 8 who are both disabled and get so fed up and lonely.

I thought your children would be under 10 tbh, they are ( disabilities withstanding ) perfectly capable of feeding and typing up after themselves.

MissyB1, a family meeting sounds actually like a very good idea. I am married yes! When my husband is home he is very helpful and often takes the majority of the home chores off my hands. I am very lucky. I like the rule of no later than 11am lie in too that's good. I've started to back off with my 14 year old and talking her though how to make what she wants for her lunch and cleaning away after herself...it's just the attitude that comes with it that drives me insane as she then says I'm playing favourites by still doing things for my 11 year old. Life is just very overwhelming during summer holidays.

Yep, I'm struggling too. My kids seem to think I have a never ending snack cupboard

OP you need to make some house rules it seems. Wake the 14 year old up at a reasonable hour maybe 10/10:30, they tidy up after themselves, no iPad until the necessary chores are done (and no backchatting or none at all) have a conversation about what and what isn't acceptable. Surely they can make their own food at that age but why not teach them some cooking skills?

TomatoSandwiches, 14yr old has ADHD and 11yr old has Autism. Both recently diagnosed. 14yr old struggles to keep up with tasks and often moves onto something different. 11yr old will often be in his own little gaming world and not realise he needs snacks or a meal. He often ignores signs like feeling hungry or needing to go to the loo. I'm not trying to make excuses. I see really I should be guiding them more 😔

A written routine or list of reminders might help both of them. If you have a smart speaker set alarms on it for the 11 year old to remind them to eat, offer to teach them how to make meals and snacks. Set aside one on one time for both of them. School holidays can feel very full on!

I asked ChatGTP to come up with a schedule for me for this summer holidays because I never have enough brain width to organise stuff. I told it all the things I wanted - time to exercise, visit my mum and dad, free activities and one local trip a week. It did quite well. It also prompted me to book a theatre trip and a day trip to London because booking two things seemed manageable.

The best thing about it - the schedule starts every day with me doing exercise and a coffee before trying to persuade/cajole and bribe my children (also 14 and 11).

Ignore the attitude from your 14 year old when she complains about making her lunch, she simply doesn't want to do it.
Of course you're going to do more for your 11 year old, he's younger.

Try not to take it personally, as hard as it is. You're simply educating them on how to 'grow up', and they won't like it!

Cherryana, not heard of ChatGPT before...I'll have to look into it. I think that's what I need as well as some house rules. I'm just feeling so burnt out I don't know where to start.

Thank you all for suggestions and for reading my rants x

Are you a SAHP op or trying to work as well?

I work in a school! So any and all school holidays it's me who's home 👍

That sounds hard, How about keeping easy to eat things (that they will eat) and showing them where they are and then maybe asking them if they are hungry, like you say guiding them then with practice they might get there

I have two much older teens and no disabilities and they would still probably just eat crisps and no meals if left to their own devices!

Yep. I can relate to a lot of what you've written. Similar age dc. My dc also have ND's so I understand the added issues this can bring. Low key op, is my only advice.

I go with the flow a bit. The house is a tip. I've given up. I take the dc out occasionally to break the screen time up but it is a huge amount of time to keep them occupied so as long as I've got them out of the house for a couple of hours a day (most days) that's good enough for me even if they walk to the local shop and so on. Difficult age really op. I have a younger and more energetic dc too (paddling pool in the garden and visits to the park work here). I tend to make sure I have me time during the day (perhaps whilst they are watching screens) and try to ignore the state of the house. I've found less is more as rushing here there and everywhere can take a lot of energy.

Food is a thing, I have sympathy here. Husband works from home some days and takes on some of this load - preparing lunches etc. which helps.

It can feel isolating. I can't get out like I'm used to doing. The start of the holidays is always worse in a way...it feels like there is a mountain to climb. I try not to think too far ahead. Plan week by week and so on. The main thing I need is a bit of a moan to keep me going! So, I was sorry but pleased to see this thread.

I feel the same op! My kids are same age and I have a younger child too. We’re in Scotland so only have 2 weeks left of school hols, but I’m quite worn out!🥲

We're doing ok here, but the eating is nuts! We go food shopping on a Friday and that's always fine but we have absolutely nothing, no milk, no drinks, no cordial, no crisps, no biscuits, and no actual proper food either, I am forever doing a 'top up shop' 🙄

Hope you are doing okay op. We are now into August. Nearly two weeks of the holiday has passed by and this is how I roll, if I look at the whole lot together, it can feel overwhelming. A couple of low key trips out for the dcs this week, worked well. I'm still working on the less is more theme. Turning my attention to next week and how to break it up a bit. And yes to the food thing. Eldest dc seems to be hoovering the cupboards relentlessly. The continuous top up shops...yes can so relate. Sorting things like school shoes and uniform for the Autumn term already keeps it in perspective that it is coming around.

My food bill soars in school holidays!

Aargh sorry quoted wrong post!

Me too! My kids literally want to do something outside the home every single day! They can't entertain themselves with anything other than electronics at home. We have a huge garden, paddling pool, swings, and woodland to explore at our doorstep BUT the weather is mostly crap so they just either want to be in front of a screen or doing an activity somewhere else. It gets tiring and expensive. Weather has been horrendous. Our first week of annual leave was ok, so we did a lot: parks, National Trust places, the beach, and a couple of cool paid activities, a family BBQ, camped in our garden one night and roasted marshmallows, but this week it has been pissing down every day, so we have spent it running errands for school uniform and other supplies, yesterday was the cinema, today we have been round 3 local pools and it was impossible to get in any of them (no pre-bookings allowed, just first come first served) we just ended up driving back home after 2 hours, and now guess what sitting in front of screens, and watching the -very heavy- rain. I always feel sorry for them as we don't do holidays every year like everyone else seems to do.🙈