How do you do it?

[Beansandneedles]

I'm currently working PT, but when our youngest goes to school it would be financially much better if I went back full time (I think, still need to work it out taking into account after school clubs and holiday club costs for multiple children).

The issue is I just can't see how the holidays work?! Most of my friends are the same stage as me, so don't really have anyone a few years ahead to ask. Can't believe it took me till now to think of MN!

Things to note:

• We don't have grandparents or family to take the children during the holidays. At all.
• I've suggested to friends about holiday swaps, but everyone around us has family to lean on so they're not feeling pressured to discuss this stuff in advance. However for me it's important to know my options before I start considering FT jobs.
• A lot of the holiday clubs around here need children to be 5+ which won't work for us for the first year (summer born!)
• OH gets 5 weeks holiday and I assume I'd get the same, which still leaves us at least 3 weeks short.
• I'd assume at that point we'd both take a week or two parental leave...and just not have any time together?! How do people get this to tally up?

Secondly, how do your kids feel about going to clubs for the bulk of the holidays? My teacher friends mostly say kids need a rest during the holidays, which doesn't seem to match up with being in back to back clubs, but I can't see how else it would work.

It has to be possible, and there has to be loads of you out there doing it. So turning to magical MN for the answers!

Thanks in advance for helping a total novice with something which is probably by now second nature/totally obvious to you :)

You will find holiday clubs that are 4+, have a look at Barracudas as they are everywhere!

We do have grandparents, though not locally. So they will have them for blocks of time. But not every school holiday. So we use a combo of them. Both myself and DH take holiday or unpaid leave in some cases and holiday clubs.

The kids used to enjoy holiday clubs when they were younger but now they are 8 and 10 they do not and they don’t want to go anymore. Many don’t actually cover enough hours eg 9-3 or 10-4 so they are useless. They are also expensive anywhere from £30-40 per child. It’s tricky but getting other parents to have the kids has never been an option for us

I’m in Scotland so all kids are 5 by the first easter holidays. Maybe in your circs you’ll need to delay changing to ft till after the first year.
once dc are 5+ ours have a combination of holiday clubs and time off with dh and I. We cut our family holiday away down to just one week instead of two and each of us took another week separately each then used 3 weeks holiday clubs. Our dc like holiday club - we tried 3/4 different types in the first few years then let them choose their favourite. Our youngest is old enough now to stay home or meet with friends while one of us wfh which we luckily can both do some of the time.

You make it sound so easy!

I think not going FT until the youngest is in Y1 might be the way to go.

We live in a large city so I can imagine there are lots of holiday clubs to choose from. But as PP said they are pricey! DS is very outgoing and will love it, but DD less so. However that feels like a bridge I can cross when I get to it.

oo thanks I'll check this out

I used to love time at my grandparents. We didn't live close by so I'd go for a week and get spoilt rotten. It was the best.

Sadly my dad lives abroad, as do DH's parents (plus they're in their 80's so just not appropriate) and my mother is a complicated woman. I just can't see me sending the kids there without a chaperone until they have their own mobile phone and can call me to collect them if they're uncomfortable.

That's interesting about the hours at holiday club, and I'd heard they were pricey. One of the things we need to do is work out the salary I'd need to get in order to make going FT worth it by the time you've factored in after school clubs, breakfast clubs, holiday clubs etc. Bleugh.

As someone above said, hunting will likely find you some holiday club options that will take a four-year-old, like Baracudas. I think this would be almost impossible without that.

Then, we didn’t take very much leave together as adults, so we could cover more of the holidays. And in terms of the child/children being exhausted, we broke our holiday up a lot only maybe taking one whole week at a time, so kiddo wasn’t in holiday club for whole weeks very often. So, eg Mum is off on Monday, kid is in holiday club on Tuesday and Wednesday, Dad is off on Thursday, and kid is in holiday club on Friday. If you alternate which way round the days off are, one parent is having a day off approx every week and a half, so it isn’t really too bad work-wise. We found that a whole week in holiday club was exhausting for a small child if it happened multiple weeks in a row, but three days in a week was much more manageable. Round here, holiday clubs are often actually a bit cheaper on a Friday as well, which is a bonus. Plus, they tend to be quieter, so that is a bit of a quieter day for the child to make it feel a bit less tiring. This set up, does require military planning in advance, so you and your partner can trade off leave and work around any unavoidable work commitments, and manage clashes with team holidays at work. I am sure it just wouldn’t work with some types of job tbh. And then, I can’t say it isn’t hard work in the summer holidays! But for us it has been worth it to be able to work full time, and our child has got a lot out of their ‘adventures’ at holiday club and the friends they have made. At times they have not wanted to go beforehand, but are always happy when they come back, and we have never set it up as if it was an option - it just ‘is’ in their life, like going to school. When they were little one holiday club consistently worked best, then when older we swapped clubs around a bit to make it more interesting. I know this is also not a cheap option - easier for us with only one child.

We actually still do all the above for an 11-year-old, but it was more important, and we were more rigid about it when they were younger.

(I’ll add that we have mostly been able to have a week covered off by grandparents in the summer holidays, and odd days at half terms, which does make a difference, but the above would work without, it would just be - even more - tiring, so you need to weigh up the benefits)

Thanks this is so helpful! I hadn't even considered not doing full week blocks, I just assumed that's how the clubs would work! So this is great information :D Does sound like a hell of a juggle, but at least now I can understand how it could work on some level.

I could write an essay on this topic! We don’t have any help at all - a sister could come up in a dire emergency but she’s a 4hr drive away. So we don’t have anyone to look after the kids.

I would start researching clubs and looking around for options as the key to making this work for my two is variety. I appreciate that may not suit all kids though.

So last summer we had a 10 day holiday together. Then they had 3 days of school holiday club (same provider for the wraparound care) and two days of a special interest club (based around the beach). Etc. they also did drama club for one week and a local sports guy who does silly games (altho that club only runs 9-1pm so they went onto their tablets once home). I also looked a tennis and football camps but will use those this summer. Other than the ones I’ve mentioned they did a few days here and there of outward bound/bushcraft/forest school/tree climbing activities.

all this stuff had to be booked once these clubs opened their booking from May. So I had to be very organised knowing what we were doing every day of the six week holidays. Kind of takes rhe spontaneity out of it! And you pay upfront so a big hit on cash early on.

some weeks DH and I took the Thurs and Friday off so they were only in clubs 3 days that week. And went to see grandparents etc:

I so feel guilty mine don’t have the chance to lane at home but what can we do?!

Agree 100% with @Jsndidndnnd about the military planning required! I actually got another cheap calendar for the summer months which was pinned up alongside our normal calendar. Even despite all the planning there were a couple of cock ups!

My parents lived abroad so they came to stay for 2 weeks hell around ds birthday. 2 weeks of family holiday, 2 weeks holiday clubs, for the summer.6 weeks.
Christmas and Easter we took a week each and half term we alternated and did some days out with friends and some days school holiday club.
It's not easy but it's not forever.

My DD and her friend sort it mostly between them. My DD and her friend take split holidays. So DD takes off Monday and Tuesday she looks after her 2 boys and her friends 2 boys too. Wednesday and Thursday her friend looks after all 4 boys Fridays they all go to a holiday club together. So the boys have had a week holiday and DD only used 2 days leave. Her DH looks after all 4 boys the following Monday and Tuesday and her friends DH does the Wednesday and Thursday back to holiday club on Friday. Repeat the next 2 weeks. They go on holiday the final week of holidays. They go on holiday May half term and over New Year They all go together. My DD loves sport so takes all boys to do active things and her friend likes arty things so does arty things with all boys. It's worked really well for the last 3 years. Could you organise something like this with friends.

I work from home. My kids are 7 and 11. I just have to make that work as I have no other options. I usually have to go out to work a few days during the summer hols and my husband takes holidays to cover those days.

We used our old childminder who was fine to do block weeks of holiday cover.

That and taking separate annual leave and me saving up all my flexi for school holidays. I basically got all of the holidays off plus 3 weeks of the summer. So had to find 3 weeks only. H did 2 weeks and the childminder 1 week.

GPs helped with inset days and minor illness.

It's very hard.

Kids need you more when at school than before so if you can manage part time then do so.

Defer the summer born!

(You can apply for a reception start at 5 I mean, not Year 1)

Where I live there are essentially 2 kinds of holiday clubs. The council run childcare ones - usually very cheap, aimed at working parents so fairly long hours. Or the more expensive hobby ones which run shorter hours eg 10-3.

Kids often prefer the second type, particularly if they're into a type of sport or art or whatever, but the reality is we often used the cheaper type, even though it wasn't that exciting out of necessity.

We usually have a couple of weeks in the summer altogether but otherwise take our leave separately to cover enough holiday as we can and use clubs for the rest.

Holidays clubs have been affected quite badly in my city which is also big. Times have been shaved down to things like 08.00am till 4.30. I would research the cost per day too... where I live I currently pay £28.00. There's no way I could take on a full time job I don't have the family network at all.

Last summer I was a solo parent, and over here in NI kids get two full months off and I only get 20 days’ holiday. It was a nightmare. I saved all year to pay a childminder for four weeks, took two weeks of AL, worked 5 bank holidays through the year to get TOIL days, did a couple of days of childcare swaps and worked from home with her around for the remaining time. One of the most stressful summers of my life! This year my DP will help out but it will still be a juggle.

Oh and holiday clubs or summer schemes here run for 2-4 hours a day and are essentially pointless for anyone other than rich SAHPs.

This is the sole reason l got a job in a school.

When I had 3dc all at school I worked a term
time job.
When the youngest was almost finished primary I went for a full time job All year round job so only 1 10 year old to consider. I would take a day or two off a week in the holidays, wfh 4 days anyway and then a combination of dh taking some time off (he’s self employed), holiday clubs (too old for that now) and got him to invite a friend round for the day.
It’s less of a juggle now he’s 12 and more able to find things to do or friends to hang out with plus his siblings now drive and can also do fun stuff with him.
When they were all smaller I wouldn’t have considered doing the job I do now, and I get a very generous 35 days leave plus all bank holidays plus we close totally between Christmas and new year without having to use any of our leave.

Could your dad come and stay for a couple of weeks to help?

I did a few friend swaps but soon decided to abandon them as if limited what I could do with my dc when I had extra children with us. The time with my dc was too precious to have to share it with others.

Remember the financial benefit of working full time isn't just the salary. Factor in faster career progression and pension contributions also. That said I didn't go full time til youngest was 7 and I had a lot of years working part time while my other children were younger.

I work PT and had used most of my AL by the time the summer came. I took 3 weeks unpaid leave in the summer. My son is ND so wasn't accepted at clubs which I couldn't attend with him, so this made it 100x harder! My parents still work themselves so they did take some days off to help but it still wasn't enough.
I would maybe suggest finding a term time job, I know they arent paid as much, but atleast the stress of the holidays is off!