School holidays and 2 FT parents - how??

[Canigotosleepyet]

Looking for advice/thoughts please - have just been offered my dream job. Whoop! But the reality of making it work with 2 kids and a DH who is largely unavailable worries me. Mostly the school hols.

Extra detail - DH’s job is self-employed (so secure) but client-based. He currently works 12-14-hour days including some travel and client entertaining. Visits other UK base about 1 night a week adhoc and European trips for 2 nights once or twice a month again with little advance notice, plus client golf some evenings and weekends.

I am now part time self-employed - consultancy/freelance so almost entirely able to work round school pick-ups/clubs etc. But do plenty of evening work to make up for that flexibility. DH does no school holidays cover (another thread) and takes only 3 weeks off a year which we usually spend on holidays and visiting family abroad together.

Kids are 8/11. How could I cover 14 weeks of school hols with 27 days holiday?! Would hope to work 2/3 split office/home. Are other people’s jobs flexible enough to allow some 9.30 drop off/4pm pick-up from clubs? Kids now too old /opinionated just to book entire weeks at local daycare options… Do people buy extra weeks holiday? Grandparents not an option.

Am I crazy to give up entirely flexible part-time work for a full time job (that pays almost entirely the same as current work but has greater job satisfaction/more advancement opportunities)?

TIA

We use a mix of extra nanny hours, holiday clubs (ours are 8-6), occasional grandparent day and annual leave.

We have 8 weeks to cover but haven't yet found it challenging, I just ensure I've planned in advance (eg I book holiday club as soon as it's open)

My job got quite flexible after covid - I start early, then a break to drop off… and pick up is during my lunch break
my DH got heavily involved during lockdowns… so he also now plans his weeks around what drop-offs / pick-ups are needed
so yes… flexible jobs and involved DH…. Also a lot of people on my office have school aged kids and even senior managers are quite involved on pick ups now, so no one bats an eyelid when I go to pick up
not to say it goes according to plan, yes my DD spends a lot of time online - but at least she’s active/busy half day…
your DH needs to get involved really

People saying DH should be more involved makes no difference because that seems like it's not going to happen.
Personally I wouldn't change anything. You'll put yourself under extra stress trying to do everything. It seems from what you write you are working at a good level now.
I'd wait til your kids are older, it gets much easier then.
Who knows your own business may get busier and you won't need to change anything.

This summer my nephew who is 12 did/will do:
1 week at outward bound
1.5 week grandma came over- this is v unusual, he probably would've just gone to a day camp normally.
10 days camping with scout type thing
10 day family holiday
There's lots of charities that help with cost of residential, you can get very cheap PGL holidays last minute.
But the vast majority of kids end up in day camps/friends houses/staying home with strict instructions.

There's tons of day camp type things running every half term. I've always found Christmas hols the hardest as none of that is running then. Your husband will need to pull his weight a bit more too. But you're fortunate they're old enough for all the above. It's harder with the 4-6 range I find.

This is a DH problem principally (sorry). As a PP said, being senior and self-employed makes it easier not harder to mark x-y dates as unavailable on the calendar (as presumably some of his clients do!), put down the golf clubs and participate in family life. Even if he earns 3x what you will, he can cover a week or two, start later to ferry to clubs etc.

It is very difficult, but it's easier with two engaged adults.

I’m gonna be flamed here, but I wouldn’t change the status quo. It sounds like you have the perfect balance and flexibility already. All the childcare and house jobs and admin will still be there in addition to full time hours and you will be pulled in all directions.

I am confused..
DH works from home?. can't you just let them relax at home and he is there for emergencies?

Surely the best part of the holdidays is lazing around?

Op, how likely is this job likely to come around again.
It sounds like you will make life incredibly complicated; and not increase anyone's quality of life especially the children?

It's all very well saying, my DC get told to go here and there and do X y and j.

People are absolutely desperate, working several jobs to pay all these spiraling costs,they don't have choices about standards of living or quality of life.
Those that do , doesn't choosing a nicer quality of time/life come into it?
Personally Id either ask DH to be flexible, at least let the.dc spend most time at home, with him there...

Or just leave things as they are until the smallest one is old enough to be ok by themselves for a bit so again...they can relax at home mixed in with other stuff.

If you insist on job and your husband won't budge to me a teen at home with perhaps the odd holiday camp week seems the best option then at least they can chill with their own things around them!.

We always used holiday clubs but our work is flexible enough for pick ups and drop offs.

@Canigotosleepyet round my way in Yorkshire... holiday clubs start from around £40 per day and you have 2 DC to pay. Have you considered the cost? Personally I wouldn't do it. I would request your DH takes at least another 3 weeks off per year though!

We spend a very large sum of money on holiday camps. DH and I trade off drop-off and pick-ups. I have more flexibility so I do more of the transport, but he has to do some as well. It’s just not possible for it all to fall to me and still be effective at work. We have similar earnings so that doesn’t factor in, but it shouldn’t really matter too much. You still need to be able to put in the hours at your job.

I'm a single parent working full time. DC is 14 so has to spend some days alone now. They went to a holiday club until age 12. No other choice.

We had to do it in the days when wfh was not really a option.
Big calendar with all the school holidays, in service days, bank holidays, local holidays etc marked out. For years we only took 2 weeks holiday together to maximise our allowances.
We did it by by counting days rather than weeks my kids didn’t mind holiday clubs in the summer holidays but found 5 days a week too much. So they went 3 days a week apart from the 2 weeks we were all off. I took 1 day off per week my DH took a different 1 day off per week. So a week annual leave for each of us covered 5 weeks of main school holidays. Easter holidays the same. We had grandparents who helped out luckily for us ( but I tried to save them for times my kids were a bit poorly and couldn’t go to clubs or for half terms where there were no clubs) and we had reciprocal arrangements with friends to cover the odd day off.
When they got too old for clubs ( so able to be left alone for a bit) I took annual leave a half day at a time to make it go further. Went to work for the morning and came home at lunchtime, my kids mostly had lie ins so barely noticed I wasn’t there and made themselves breakfast and even lunch.

Will this job come up again? If not you need to put yourself first and think long term - your children won't need childcare forever. I have just left teaching and due to start a new job that doesn't have the holidays. It'll be a mix of using annual leave, holiday clubs (which have been difficult to find for a 3 year old) and DH looking after them but he is self employed so he wouldn't be paid. Long term it'll be worth it as it's my dream job and teaching is not compatible with young children during term time.

Single full time working parent here.

I got five weeks annual leave plus eight bank holidays. That covered six and a half weeks of the 13 weeks school holiday.

I normally booked four weeks summer camp for ds. I looked after a friend's ds during two of my weeks off, and she returned the favour,

That covered twelve weeks in total. The final week ds might go to his dad although v unreliable. Or my sister, or on holiday with a friend. DS had input on which camp but had to be choose one of them.

He's 14 now and I wfh so no longer an issue

This. You're never going to get your earnings up if you have to take the wife job that allows your dh to Swan around with no responsibility.

My summer holiday has gone by like this (same age dc)
First few days. Dh took both boys to MIL 2.5 hours away but he still worked.
Week 1 ds1 at scout camp, i took ds2 to my parents who live 1 hour away who later brought him back on Friday whilst dh and I worked all week.
Week 2 family holiday
Weeks 3 and 4 wood school whilst dh and I work.
Week 5 family holiday
Week 6 I'm taking the dc away with my parents