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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

Help with my stimulation!

3 replies

Wishywashy123 · 03/11/2025 13:26

I worked an extremely demanding, busy job as a single parent 8 years ago. It was incredibly hard juggling DC, job mortgage, housework, me actually having time for me! I only had limited childcare, DH left and didn’t pay maintenance so o didn’t really have a choice, if I didn’t have childcare no matter day/night/weekend DC came with me, I was exhausted but looking back I think I thrived on it, it made me tick, I was the breadwinner, I was in charge at work (top managerial level) it worked, as hard as it was.

Roll forward to now, I am recently married with another DC, DH is breadwinner, great job, managerial, excellent salary. There’s no money stress (my old mortgage was so high on my own), there’s no job stress, we agreed I’d be a SAHM because I wanted to experience it properly this time. I missed out on so much with DC1, it was literally up, nursery drop off, work, nursery pick up, home, dinner, bed etc. DH was so supportive of this and we agreed I’d get a job when DC was around 2. I hate it, I hate the same thing every single day, we go for a walk, the park, meet friends, play groups. I just want to go back to my old job (which I can’t now) but am I wasting this precious time and I’ll be disappointed in myself when DC is bigger? I feel like my brain isn’t stimulated at all, I need problems to solve, situations to sort out, I just want to be busy, I’ve redecorated our house five times, I’ve fitted panelling in every room, I’m constantly looking at projects at home or things I can create to sell in the evenings when DH has finished work or weekends when he’s free.

Ok now I’ve typed this out Im wondering if I need a therapist! Stay at home mums or dads, what do you do if your like me? DC is 14 months.

OP posts:
Slothey · 03/11/2025 21:35

Fgs go back to work. Not everyone is cut out to stay at home (I’m not). And I bet your DC will appreciate a fulfilled and balanced mum for some of the time, rather than one going slightly potty all of the time.

Stillhoping1990 · 04/11/2025 17:21

i like to research and learn more about child development and find ways of supporting their play etc and make some interesting set ups and get creative. Also maybe podcasts and reading whilst they nap. But yes I’ve really had to learn to slow down the pace of my days and it’s not always lots of fun.

Row23 · 12/11/2025 18:38

If your child is at nursery can you find a part time flexible job - maybe retail? Even if it’s not something you want to do long term or related to your previous career, it can be great to just have something of your own to do and meet other adults.
Or, could you find a course you might like to do and take up some studying? It doesn’t have to be university etc. For example, I’m interested in property so signed up for a course in Property Sales. I then also managed to get a part time job in Property Sales. Only a few hours a week, but it saved my sanity and made me feel good having something of my own to do.
So maybe there’s something you can study, even if you don’t use it for your career, it’s nice just using your brain in a different way than thinking about how to entertain a toddler.

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