Tips for transitioning to one income

[OneLemonGoose]

DH and I have just found out we are expecting our first baby and we are over the moon. It is my dream to be a SAHM and we both agreed when we got married that when the time came to welcome our DCs I would take a few years out of work to be at home with them. I am so excited for this chapter but I know it will be a huge change to go from both of us working full time to living on one income.

We have a decent savings pot for emergencies and DH's salary will cover all the bills and basics but we won't have loads left for "fun money".

I would love to hear any and all tips from other families who have managed this both in terms of finances and how to navigate what will also be a shift in our relationship.

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Honestly…I know it’s not what you asked but if I had my time back I wouldn’t do it. For so so many reasons

I had 8 years out, I won’t claim it’s easy but it’s doable. My tips…

one car, yes it means you have to negotiate use, use public transport etc but saves around £1000 a year even if you own the cars outright.

scratch cook and batch cook, kick that take away habit by heavy a “special” aka higher budget meal on Saturdays.

he takes lunch from home, sandwiches or leftovers, if drinks aren’t provided at work, take a flask.

second hand and sales for clothes but only buy what you actually need including baby, they really don’t need much and take advantage of offers of hand-me-downs and grandparents wanting to buy things (direct them to what you actually need rather than unnecessary toys)

library or charity shops for books, church hall type toddler groups rather than fancy classes, meet up in parks not coffee shops

Will your career be ok to return to with a gap?

I would look at your pension, make sure you have allocated that it continues being added to at the same rate as DHs. (Take into account employer contributions)

Is all money shared? You won’t become financially dependant on DH?

Otherwise a lot of expenditure drops as night outs etc are less often. It really depends what you currently spend disposable income on, can you manage while cutting that out.

I was so pleased that I kept working, albeit just six hours a week. I was then able to step up my work later. Dh had the dc when I worked which I think helped him to understand a little bit of what it was like to look after young children a day a week. It also meant that I was able to use my tax allowance. You pay less tax on the first part of your wage, so it made sense for us. So I would go ultra part time rather than stop work altogether.

I found we don’t need much fun money because there are no more nights out and I don’t really spend a lot on new clothes for myself etc because I’m not going out! No complaints though because I love just being with the babies. I get a lot of toys second hand and some clothes too. Food budget is still high because good food is something we value. we spend a fair amount on classes and activities but it’s a lot cheaper than nursery and much more beneficial and higher quality than nursery. Music class, pony club and ballet are their favourites - sounds fancy but so much cheaper than childcare and so fun!
You’ve made a great choice for your family and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Being a mother is undervalued in today’s society unfortunately.

You are leaving yourself very vulnerable OP.

He needs to maintain your pension contributions

you need to keep your hand in work so you can return easiky

you need to ageee when you will swap roles and prioritize your career, not just let his grow and grow at your expense

Don’t decide anything till you’ve had your baby. You may find it isn’t what you expected and you would prefer to go back to work, even if only very part time.

Financially, the obvious answer is to try living off one income now. And make sure all money is fully shared - his earnings should go straight into a joint account that you have equal access to. Work out what your outgoings look like and then set some ground rules about personal/fun spending, eg a set amount for each of you per month, anything over has to be discussed.

Relationship wise make sure he understands that when he is not working, everything is shared. You need to avoid falling into the trap where you always have the baby/deal with child stuff even when he’s home, because you’re more practised and better at it. When he’s home, he should have the baby and you do other stuff. It’s really important for him to have sole charge a lot.