I’m going to be brutally honest: I don’t understand your resentment at all. You had a child with this man, the relationship wasn’t good, and it was never going to magically turn into the fairy tale you’re imagining now. That fantasy was never going to happen. The situation you’re in right now was the most predictable outcome ever — yet you still chose to bring a baby into it. You created this mess.
You’re acting shocked that a man who wasn’t reliable before… still isn’t reliable now. That’s not a surprise. That’s a pattern you ignored. Your decisions have lifelong consequences, and pretending you didn’t see this coming is just denial.
And let’s get real about something else: if the relationship isn’t working and he’s financially supporting everything, most, or some it makes complete sense that he wants time alone on his days off. He’s tired. He needs to decompress. That’s normal. Expecting him to come home full of energy and enthusiasm after carrying financial weight is unrealistic.
Why would he jump to spend his rare free time with a child he barely knows, in a house that’s already stressful and tense? On his days off, that might simply be too much. He’s human. He’s overwhelmed. He’s dealing with things too — even if you don’t want to acknowledge it.
And here’s the truth no one wants to admit: kids don’t fix bad relationships. They expose every crack and make things worse. If your relationship was already shaky, adding another baby guaranteed more problems, not solutions.
He probably made it clear he didn’t want this child in the first place, and you didn’t listen. So expecting him to suddenly be emotionally invested and deeply involved now is unrealistic. You can’t ignore someone’s boundaries, force a situation on them, and then be surprised when they don’t play the role you fantasized about.
And if you and him are living in constant dysfunction, arguing all the time, and creating a toxic environment, then the best thing for everyone — especially the child — is to live separately. A child doesn’t need to grow up watching chaos, tension, and resentment. Separate households would be healthier than what you’re putting this kid through now.
You keep letting him back into your life — and your body — and acting shocked when the outcome doesn’t change. Stop expecting him to become someone he never was and never promised to be.
It’s time to take accountability.
Do better. Make better choices.
Stop giving him access to you.
Make everything strictly about the child.
Because nothing in this situation will change until you do.